Hark, what’s that sound? It’s Clarissa Darling slowly thawing from her pop-culture carbon freeze! Everybody’s favorite denim-clad confidante has sprung from her 19-year hibernation a la Hans Solo, and returned to us as a 23-year-old aspiring journalist.
As Entertainment Weekly reports, Clarissa Explains It All will live on in novel-form with the help of Thomas Dunne Books editor Brendan Deneen. The book, titled Things I Can’t Explain, is slated for release in 2014. This time around though, she will be self-aware enough to understand that there are problems in this world for which she has no answers. Sounds like somebody’s Philosophy 101 class included a solipsism unit!
But that doesn’t mean we don’t have lingering questions from the series. Without further ado, five things we really hope Clarissa will clear up for us.
- What are the lasting psychological effects of discussing your first training bra on national television?
- Were she and Sam really just friends? Like, she never even thought about going for it? Not even a little bit?
- Is Ferguson, her staunch Republican younger brother, planning to run for office? Bush/Darling 2016 has a nice ring to it.
- At what point in her adolescence did she realize Sam’s window ladder could very well be used by practically anyone on the street?
- Whatever happened to her baby pet alligator, Elvis? He only lasted a few episodes in the first season. The public demands answers!
Do you have any burning questions for Clarissa?