How many weddings have you attended that featured a bride wearing a white dress? And what is up with that cake? But why? Says who? It’s about time we brainstormed some unique wedding themes. And for book lovers, that list might look a little like this.
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Blankets of blush flower petals and champagne-fed swans? Sure, that’s romantic—if you want to be like everyone else. For the intrepid bride, true romance means living with your soulmate in a post-apocalyptic world of desolation, extinction, starvation, and death. And for this bride, a wedding utilizing a gray color palette and ash décor is just what the doctor ordered. Bonus: you’ll save money on the food–there won’t be any.
Lord Of The Flies by William Golding
This theme goes best with a beach destination wedding, but any deserted-island feel will do. The ceremony will be spoken through a conch to the sound of a boy’s choir, and everyone in the wedding party will sport face paint. When the couple is pronounced married, smoke signals will announce to the world that a new marital bond has been consecrated. On the reception menu? Wild pig.
Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
The bride should get Mia Farrow’s chic crop haircut, do whatever necessary to appear rail thin (avoid trainers at all cost, ladies–we’re not going for bulky), and wear a high-collared dress that has zero shape. Now that we have that settled, find a wedding planner who has experience with Satanic covens, I mean weddings. Note that this theme is best suited to couples who have reproduced out of wedlock, because what’s a Rosemary’s Baby wedding without a baby?
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Vera Wang already thought of this idea, which means it’s legitimately classy, but also perfect for the broad and broadette who don’t give a wink about traditional weddings and just want to throw a roaring 20’s party. Think: fun, flappy dress with a vintage hairpiece for the bride, and a wool tux for the groom. And don’t forget the most important component: boozy boozy booze. Like sidecars, mint juleps, and raspberry rickies.
Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare
If your in-laws and your parents don’t get along, why not go with it? Don’t invite them, and call it your “Romeo and Juliet” wedding. If your folks have any appreciation for themes, they’ll understand your decision after a few years—by the time you have your first child, for sure. Romeo and Juliet were married in a secret ceremony, without a full service, a feast, a DJ, or flowers. Sure, they wound up dead, but at least they didn’t have to suffer through a year of planning.
The Godfather by Mario Puzo
Here’s a chance to kill two birds with one stone–have a big, fat Italian wedding and get some business taken care of, as well. Eat and dance while you settle the score with any family nemesis you may have. It’s also the perfect chance for Fedora-obsessed gents to wear goofy hats and old-school zoot suits. Remind the guests that “No Sicilian can refuse any request on his daughter’s wedding day.” Things could get interesting.
Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer
Down-to-earth, adventure sport-loving brides will quickly get bogged down with details like boutonnieres and place settings and blahblahblah, but if the wedding ceremony recreates a trek up Everest, they’ll actually enjoy the planning. And there’s something symbolic in the idea of surviving a death-defying hike together, no? Frostbite is sexy! The whole party can wear climbing gear, but on second thought, there’s no need for a wedding party–just enlist sherpas. Use the money you’d been saving for a DJ to construct a ginormous (to scale) representation of Mount Everest. Here’s another option that doesn’t require an elaborate meal. Everybody loves trail mix, right? And when guests complain of hunger, smile and nod. “Exactly,” you can say. “You totally get the theme!”