9 Ways to Deal if Your Significant Other Doesn’t Love Harry Potter

Harry Potter and the Sorceror's StoneWe all have dealbreakers that we break for the right person. So when you finally meet a princess or a prince who owns a bookshelf with actual books on it instead of beer cans and old tissues—but who give you a blank stare when you say, “My best friends in high school were Harry, Ron, and Hermione”—you may think twice about running away. But: Oh, no. No. No. NO!!! Your significant other is not into Harry Potter! Can you live while your S.O. survives without experiencing the nostalgic majesty of the Harry Potter series? Yes. Maybe. By turning them into fans, of course. Here’s how:

1. Ask Professor McGonagall if you can borrow the time turner Hermione used in her third year to go back in time and use the Imperius Curse* on your S.O’s mother so she will read the Harry Potter series aloud to her child.

*You might be wondering, Isn’t the Imperius Curse terrible? Won’t doing this make me no better than a Death Eater? Nope, this is for the well-being of someone you love.

2. Send them a weekly Hogwarts letter. On Sundays, leave one under their pillow.

3. Speak in Parseltongue during romantic moments.

4. Call all beer “butterbeer.”

5. Call all liquor “firewhiskey.”

6. Casually work wizarding spells into conversation. (I mean, more often than you already do, because obviously everyone who has read Harry Potter says “Accio!” when they need something.) For example, instead of telling your loved one you’re upset they used your copy of Half-Blood Prince as a coaster, yell “Sectumsempra!” Don’t explain what it means.

7. Tell your loved one that you can’t hang out with their friend Fred until they’ve read Deathly Hallows,  so they can fully understand the emotional turmoil involved in being around a person named Fred.

8. “For someone who loves Alfonso Cuarón so much, you sure haven’t seen Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.” Say this sentence often, even if you’re not sure how they feel about Alfonso Cuarón.

9. And finally, compromise. If Harry Potter just isn’t going to work for your favorite person in this world, find something else to enjoy together. Like, say, your thinly veiled Harry Potter fanfiction.

How do you deal with an S.O. who doesn’t appreciate your favorite books?

  • Genesis

    So, here’s the thing: my S.O. never read the books, but watched all of the movies. I know, I know; it’s absolutely not the same. But he doesn’t enjoy reading. (How am I even dating this person? Love is blind, folks). I haven’t really found a way to deal with it because, quite frankly, I am still desperately trying to convert him into an HP fan. I’ve even offered to read the books to him. Should I continue to insist?

    • Elaine Young

      Try audiobooks

    • K.

      Meh, some people just aren’t into it. The last guy I dated read all the books and wasn’t too into them. Horrible, I know. =P He did buy me a couple HP related gifts though, since he knew how much of a fangirl I am, which was nice. We broke up a few months ago, hoping to find a fellow fan next time. xD
      The audiobooks idea is a good one though. He won’t have to take the time to sit down and read it, he can just listen while he’s doing something else.

  • Irlianna Samsara

    I wrote a little ebook, “The Codes of Harry Potter” to bridge the gap between fans and non-fans and see Harry in a new light. Easy to read and a lot of food for thought… at least one person has told me it inspired them to read the whole Potter series, and diehard fans found it useful too… Ya just never know! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008E7KMI6

    • memyself

      seriously? an amazon link?

    • Jackie Lea Sommers

      Pretty gutsy to post an Amazon link on Barnes & Noble’s blog …