If Classic Books Were Listicles

collageThese days, listicles (a portmanteau of the word “list” and “article”) are all the rage. They’re short, digestible articles in a numbered format, and you’ve probably seen them everywhere. From serious (7 Harmful Effects of Sun Exposure) to silly (20 Reasons You’re Actually a Hamster), listicles deliver news, entertainment, and the frightening realization that you’ve just spent the last hour scrolling through 99 cats who look like pop stars. So what if we gave 13 classic novels the listicle treatment? Here’s what your favorite required reading might look like, as reimagined by the internet:

  1. Lord of the Flies, by William Golding—12 Reasons Boys Should Always Be Supervised
  2. The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair20 Things You Didn’t Want to Know About Where Your Steak Comes From
  3. Ulysses, by James Joyce13 Things to Do in Dublin while Your Wife is Cheating on You
  4. The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway7 Signs You’re Definitely in the Friend Zone
  5. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, by Muriel Spark10 Signs Your Teenage Girlfriends Are Actually Frenemies
  6. Catch-22, by Joseph Heller101 Reasons War Makes Absolutely No Sense
  7. Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare8 Ways Your Family Keeps You From Seeing Your Crush
  8. The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein13 Signs Your Friendship is a One-Way Street
  9. Crime and Punishment, by Fyodor Dostoevsky12 Reasons Murder and Radical Ideology Are Stressful
  10. Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss10 Reasons Picky Eaters Are the Worst
  11. Hamlet, by William Shakespeare2 Reasons Your Uncle is the Worst

What would your favorite book look like as a listicle?

  • A listicle listicle! It’s listicles all the way down!

  • Tim Sroka

    Dante’s Inferno.- There are more reasons than Santa that you better be good for goodness sakes! Just ask Beatrice!

  • sam

    The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver- 10 things to do to help your adopted child.

  • Franz

    20,000 Leagues Under the Sea – 16 reasons you shouldn’t get on mysterious machines in the middle of the ocean.

    The Art of War – 12 ways to deceive your coworkers into buying lunch.

    Jane Eyre – 5 ways to make sure your lover doesn’t have an insane wife in the attic.

    The Great Gatsby – 29 reasons why you shouldn’t openly cheat on people.

    Fahrenheit 451 – 1 reason to buy a robotic fire dog.

  • Jasper Jian

    The Giver – 10 reasons why you should be happy

  • Leah

    Dork Diaries – 7 reasons why use you USE YOUR WORDS

  • Cary Pohlhammer

    The Fault in Our Stars: [roughly] 6 reasons to stick by your cancer-stricken loved one.

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