Jack Kerouac’s Online Dating Profile


Nowhere and everywhere, USA

My self-summary

catholic and buddhist and traveler with an eye for everything and nothing and the potent and inconceivable radiancies shining in bright Mind Essence. sorry if my profile pic makes me look like a thirty-year-old italian who’d kill anybody who said something against his mother.

What I’m doing with my life

i’m a writer in new york between jobs right now

I’m pretty good at

being spontaneous, road trips, making sandwiches in advance

The first thing people usually notice about me

i like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop

The six things I could never do without

a handful of crazy stars, the sensation of death kicking at my heels to move on, God in the sky in the form of huge gold sunburning clouds, mañana, a free bed (uncomfortable or comfortable), my boys, madness, kicks, a wealthy girlfriend/wife to support me

I spend a lot of time thinking about

for a complete answer, message me your address and i will send you a 120-foot document of my thoughts

On a typical Friday night I am

probably off fuming and screamin’ in a mountain nook, experiencing wonderment in the bleakness of the mortal realm

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

i’m not opposed to a ménage à trois

I’m looking for

the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. also like blondes.

You should message me if

you have enough money to bail me out of jail from time to time

Would you message Jack Kerouac?

  • Veritas

    I guess Kerouac had this much going for him: he never played “Magic: The Gathering”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=732522542 Rick Dale

    Jack Kerouac was God.

  • Christamar Varicella
  • MWnyc

    I dunno – Should Jack’s profile really say “Straight” and not “Bi”?

    Well, I guess on OKCupid, Jack would probably only look for girls. (For guys, Jack would probably be on Grindr.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/louise.tollervey.5 Louise Tollervey

    hi Jack, we sound made for each other. My name’s Louise, my number’s 0402….

  • http://www.facebook.com/LAJohannesson LA Johannesson

    Perhaps Kayte from eloves me, eloves me not, might just for fun, but I suspect her dating coach Roman would warn her against it when he shares his Rules of Online Dating… http://lajohannesson.com/eloves-me-eloves-me-not/

Follow BNReads