This Week’s Game of Thrones Awards: The Stuff Goosebumps Are Made Of

stormofswordsSeason 4, Episode 6: The Laws of Gods and Men

Greetings, and welcome! My name is Ben and what you have stumbled upon here is the ONLY Game of Thrones recap on the entire internet. From now until the end of the season I will be summarizing every episode, giving out highly prestigious awards, and counting how many times Hodor says “Hodor.”

Have you ever wondered who would win in a fight, dragons or goats? Wonder no more, as the latest installment of Game of Thrones answered that question with great certainty.

That scene gets at one of the central themes of “The Laws of Gods and Men”: you can’t have the good without the bad. While the dragons are a necessary tool to bring liberation to many, they will also ruin the lives of many more. While Dany compensates the goat herder, there will be many more losses she won’t be able to snap her fingers and fix, as evidenced by the grieving son that visits her a minute later. While Lord Varys has good intentions when it comes to the realm as a whole, his sincere quest to achieve a stable seven kingdoms means that the friendships and lives of any of its individual citizens take a back seat. His testimony in Tyrion’s trial is a prime example of this.

And hey, how about that trial?

While Tyrion has spent much of this season in a cell, making whimsical comments about how unfair life is, his screen time at the end of this episode was a different animal altogether. The appearance of his former lover Shae marks a turning point for everyone’s favorite imp. He could take his father, sister, nearly everyone else in King’s Landing telling lies about him…but not her. The guttural tone in his voice when he starts giving everyone their verbal comeuppance is the stuff goosebumps are made of.

An interesting scene that a lot of people might have immediately forgotten about, given the dramatic ending of the episode, is the one that came right before it, where Jamie agrees to leave the King’s Guard and take his place as Tywin’s heir as long as Tyrion’s life is spared. No doubt this ship has sailed, but you have to wonder if it’s a sign that Jamie will fight for his brother in the trial by combat. Somehow I doubt it, as that just feels too easy (and too noble). And speaking of the trial by combat, I find it very amusing (as would Tyrion, were it not his neck on the line) that they are letting “the gods” decide this trial, when almost no one involved puts any stock in religion.

Oddly, it’s the episode’s muted opening scene that could mean far more to the future of the realm. Stannis sails to Braavos and meets with three men of the Iron Bank. His plea for them to fund his war falls on deaf ears, but then Ser Davos talks about his buddy’s virtues, pulls out his gross hand, and we’re in business!

That whole storyline needed a kick in the pants, and so did the Reek situation. It appears that he, in yet another awful twist, is going to impersonate Theon Greyjoy to help out Ramsay Snow. I’m glad this story is finally going somewhere, but am I the only one who felt like the bit with Theon’s sister giving a speech to the troops felt like a shameless “we’re not sure if you even remember this character, this might help” moment?

Overall, it was another strong but not mind-blowing episode. Slowly the foundation is being laid for the usual end-of-season “who put crap in my pants?” moments.

Memorable Quotes

“They are very impressive on the battlefield, less so in the bedroom.” –Prince Oberyn, speaking about Daenerys’ Unsullied army

“I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you. I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it!” –Tyrion

Awards

-The “You Would Have Made a Great Caddy” award goes to Mace Tyrell, who stumbles around most of the episode handling Tywin’s more tedious errands. Could someone please photoshop Tywin into some ridiculous golf pants, putting, while Mace holds the pin?

-My weekly “We Missed You” award goes to Littlefinger. The more I think about it, the more the revelation about his involvement in Jon Arryn’s death seems like one of the bigger game changers in the history of the series. I’m curious to see what his next move will be.

-The “I Wish I Was Friends With That Guy” award goes to Oberyn Martell. I don’t think you’d have many boring Saturday nights with that guy in your posse.

-Let’s hand out the “Deleted Scenes I Hope Aren’t on the Box Set” award to the hypothetical scene where Daenerys talks to the other 212 citizens about their complaints. I’d watch it, and that’s my point…don’t make me do that.

-Last, and in this case least, the “Least Powerful Person in Westeros” award goes to King Tommen Baratheon. The show has made it a point to illustrate that having a crown doesn’t give you power, but that’s never been more apparent than right now. Tommen is nothing more than a piece of the scenery, and that’s probably the best way to stay alive.

Official Hodor Count: 0

The internet won’t be happy about this!

On Next Week’s Episode…

Cersei reads more passages from her “everything Tyrion has ever said to me, word for word, in case I ever need that” notebook.

What did you think of episode 6?