Your Bookshelf Tarot Reading: What The Bleep Do We Know?


In this series, we’re asking fans and followers to send us pictures of their bookshelves. If yours is chosen, we will use it to conduct a Tarot-inspired “reader reading”—an exploration of your past, present, and future, as revealed through your books. If you’d like to get a reading, tweet us a photo of your bookshelf with the hashtag #readerreading, or email it to editors@book.comDisclaimer: I have zero training as a medium, psychic, or palm reader. I don’t even know how to do a cartwheel.

This week’s reader reading was submitted by @ToniSmalley via Twitter.

1. What The Bleep Do We Know, by William Arntz, Betsy Chasse, Mark Vicente

You’re in a state of curiosity and wonder, constantly searching for answers to questions like: Do I see the world as it really is? Can I create my own reality? Why does breakfast taste better without pants on? Don’t get too bummed out if people aren’t on the same page as you—not everyone is on your spiritual search. What I mean to say is, when you’re at parties, stop asking everyone if they think we are biologically addicted to certain emotions. You’re starting to get a reputation.

 2. The Compete Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle 

Your obsession with finding justice in every situation is becoming an obstacle in your life. The world is full of mysteries, some best left unsolved. Start to heal yourself by introducing other genres into your bookshelf. Even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle himself got sick of Holmes and wrote him right off a cliff (temporarily, anyway). Might we recommend Pride And Prejudice?

3. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien

The Silmarillion comprises five works written by Tolkien. After Tolkien’s death, his son combined them, creating new material in order to smooth out the narrative. That’s your aim, as well: to patch things up with a family member or friend. Someone close to you has unfinished business, and you need to help them get things in order.

4. Men Women And Chainsaws, by Carol J. Clover

The foundation upon which your present circumstances are based? Men, women, and chain saws. (Kind of.) In the movie of your life, you tend to be a victim—but you always rise up eventually, to defeat your pain and the forces that oppress you. You’re trying to break out of this cycle.

5. Bullies, Bastards, And Bitches: How To Write The Bad Guys Of Fiction, by Jessica Morrell

This book represents something that has recently passed or is currently passing through your life. If you’ve noticed that your life has been infested with toxic people, rest assured, they’re on their way out. You’re learning an important lesson right now: bullying does not end on the playground. You gotta move on with your life and be strong—and that’s exactly what you’ve done.

6. The Professor And The Madman, by Simon Winchester

This book represents something that will be influential to you in the near future. This influencer might be someone who is more than what meets the eye—like the madman in this book, they might be catfishing you. (I mean, are you being catfished? Have you been on MTV? I am getting that feeling.) Do you happen to know any insane professors? Or should I say, how many insane professors do you know? One of them is about to change your life.

7. Haunted, by Chuck Palahniuk

Your frame of mind is: haunted. I can tell you’re an overanalyzer. Let your mind take a nap sometimes! For that, I recommend The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. The good news is that, even when your mind is lost in doubts, you remain goodnatured.

8. Gulliver’s Travels, by Jonathan Swift

You’re in a transient state right now. Are you planning to move? Switch jobs? Enter a new relationship? Join a new book club? Maybe you’re traveling far. (Like, to Ireland?)

9. Rick Steves’ Ireland, by Rick Steves 

You haven’t been to Ireland yet, but you hope to go someday. There is some anxiety attached to this idea, but you’re going to face your own discomfort and go. Because deep down, it’s something you strongly desire.

10.  Zen Shizuto, by Shizuto Masunaga and Wataru Ohashi

The end of this story is that you will enter a state of health and balance. Through all these ups and downs (writing yourself off a cliff! Befriending a madman professor! Being scared of Ireland!), you will master the duality of  yin and yang and find inner harmony. Ahhhhhh!

So @ToniSmalley…how did we do? Were we right about anything?

Don’t forget to send us a pic to get a reading of your very own!

  • Caroline Ortiz Åsgård

    This seems interesting! I love tarot reading, been doing it for around 6 years, and I’m always right! ;D

  • Toni Smalley

    Whoa, whoa, whoa…how do you know I’m an overanalyzer (#7)??? Lol, this is great! Sure you’re not psychic? Spot on with many of your assessments.
    #1: Yes, I’m a deep thinker, and, my friends do think I’m a bit weird.
    #2: Social justice bothers me. My boyfriend won’t watch the news with me, because I start yelling at the TV. Pride & Prejudice is in there somewhere, but the dog chewed the cover off, so it’s unrecognizable.
    #3: I do have family members who have issues, but we all love each other…most of the time :)
    #4: I have fought for others who were victims. I tend to be strong for them.
    #5: Bullies don’t dare mess with me. I’ll karate chop them!…at least, I’d try.
    #6: My sister’s book. Oddly, she is a professor…insane too.
    #8: Transient state? Yes…waiting for my boyfriend to get over his issues and commit.
    #9: I have been to Ireland ;) I would like to go back (…on a honeymoon, hint, hint to boyfriend.)
    #10: I hope. I do yoga…sometimes.
    Wow, you put a lot of time and thought into this. Thanks! Enjoyed reading it. I’m off to take a section of the CPA exam, and this made my day better :)

  • Kristin

    This is pretty wonderful! xD

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