Table of Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction: Is This Me? xi
Part 1 The Unhappy Marriage
Chapter 1 Defining the Unhappy Marriage 3
Step 1 Determine-Is my marriage unhappy? How unhappy am I?
Chapter 2 The Marriage Bill of Rights 17
Chapter 3 How Parenting Falters 21
Step 2 Ask yourself-Is our parenting faltering?
Chapter 4 How Children Falter 34
Step 3 Look at your children right now-Is your unhappy family affecting their school performance, behavior, and self-esteem?
Chapter 5 How Sex and Intimacy Falter 43
Step 4 Face the truth-What is the quality of our sexual and intimate life?
Chapter 6 How Physical and Mental Health Falter 55
Step 5 Assess-Is marital stress affecting my physical and mental health? My children's? My spouse's?
Part 2 Myths about Divorce
Chapter 7 How Bias Shapes Your Thinking 66
Step 6 Take an inventory-What are my fears about separating and divorcing? What stigma and shame do I fear from my family, friends, religion, and community?
Chapter 8 Divorce Versus the Unhappy Marriage 87
Chapter 9 The Transition Period 91
Part 3 Truths about-Divorce
Chapter 10 Divorce for the Sake of the Children 96
Step 7 Evaluate realistically-If I divorce, what do I fear will happen to my children? Will I lose them? Can I accept not seeing them every day?
Chapter 11 Children's Self-Esteem 102
Chapter 12 Impact on Adolescents and Young Adults 110
Chapter 13 Growth of Empathy in Adolescents and Young Adults 116
Chapter 14 How Men and Women Grow 120
Chapter 15 Divorce and Finances 133
Step 8 Face your fears-What financial repercussions of separation and divorce frighten me?
Chapter 16 The Real Damage 146
Part 4 Knowing When It's Time to Go
Chapter 17 Rescued Marriages: Exhausting Every Remedy 158
Step 9 Take another inventory-Have I exhausted every remedy to heal my marriage? Do I have any realistic hope? What am I waiting for?
Chapter 18 The Tipping Point 171
Chapter 19 Making Your Plan 182
Step 10 Decide-What's my plan?
Appendices 187
The Marriage Test 187
Selected Annotated Bibliography 195
Index 205
About the Authors 210
