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CHAPTER 1

GIVE YOUR EMOTIONS A VOICE

Would you rather have something "take your breath away" or "knock the wind out of you?" Initially, neither option sounds inviting, but each represents a possible consequence brought about by vastly different circumstances in life. Simply put, depending upon how we process an experience, we will say that it was one of those moments that "take our breath away," or one of those moments that "knock the wind out of us." The vastly different experiences are part of the diametric polarity of life, but from a very practical perspective, it seems like the end result could possibly be the same; and that is an individual is left incapable of breathing and gasping for air. Of course, the impetus or genesis that gives rise to this end result is quite different. In one instance there may be something so blissfully delightful, so beautiful, so grand, so majestic, and so captivating as to inspire awe and wonderment. On the other hand, there may be something so egregious, so deplorable, so unpalatable, or so unconscionable as to incite fear or physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual paralysis. Individuals who have been navigating life for a few years would probably confess that they all have experienced both of these antithetical, yet similar, experiences. In other words, most people probably admit that, whether in a good way or bad way, they have been OVERWHELMED!

We have been OVERWHELMED by places, situations, circumstances, and even by other people. And the ironic thing about being overwhelmed is that there is never a perfect setting to become overwhelmed. There is no right place or right time. As a matter of fact, life seems to make us overwhelmed at the most inopportune times. It seems as though situations and circumstances lie in wait and throw themselves upon us when we least expect it. Some would say that Pandora's Box is opened at the worst times. Others might say Murphy's Law just has a way of manifesting. No matter how you might put it, there is never a good time to be overwhelmed by a negative experience.

Not only does life seem to pick the worst time, but to make matters even worse, life does not discriminate. No one is exempt from potentially becoming overwhelmed; and this is not an endorsement of the axiom that says "misery loves company." It just seems to be a mere fact of life. Everyone gets overwhelmed. Even Jesus Christ, the son of God, was occasionally OVERWHELMED in His humanity. Yes, He is the Son of God, the second person in the Godhead, and the theophany of God; but as the Son of man, or a human entity, He became OVERWHELMED.

Consider when Jesus stood at the tomb of his dear friend Lazarus, after having been berated by Mary and Martha for not being there to save their brother. Jesus was OVERWHELMED! Whether it was because of the love for His friend, the compassion for Mary and Martha, or the sheer grip of grief, Jesus was overwhelmed; and the Bible says, "Jesus wept" (John 11:35). Like Jesus, many of us have stood at the grave of a friend or a loved one and longed for just one more chance to hear their voice, give them a hug, or just hold their hand. Some of us have stood by the bedside as relatives made peaceful transitions to a state of being that we know nothing about, and with tears in our eyes, we were forced to embrace a moment that we dreaded and a moment when we were absolutely helpless and had no control. Some of us have even spent countless hours visiting the hospital, while praying and seeking the face of God for a miracle that would give us just a few more years, months, weeks, or even days with those whom we treasured – only to journey from the hospital to the graveyard. We have all been overwhelmed by death, whether tragic and unanticipated or expected after a stint of sickness or disease.

Death was not the only thing that caused Jesus to become overwhelmed. When He was in the garden called Gethsemane, after having eaten what we now call the "last supper" and after one of His own followers had initiated a plot to betray Him, He was OVERWHELMED. He himself declared, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful" (Matthew 26:38). The New International Version's translation of that same passage puts it this way: "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow." Jesus was overwhelmed and needed the company of His friends, but every time He came back to them, He found them asleep. Isn't it ironic – or is it – that when we are most overwhelmed, that is the time when it seems that we are least likely to find somebody to talk to us. Might it be that God wants us to turn our attention and our focus toward Him during these most trying times of life? But what do we say to God, who seems so distant from us at times like this? What do we say to God during times like this, when it does not seem to matter that the Bible says that "we have a high priest who can be touched by the feelings of our infirmities" (Hebrews 4:15)? What do we ask of God during times like this, when it does not matter that in His word, He invites us to "cast our cares" and anxieties on Him (I Peter 5:7)? How do we pray when even in the midst of fulfilling our life's purpose and destiny, we suddenly become OVERWHLEMED?

In what may have been just a brief moment, scripture suggests that Jesus – like many of us – had an "I don't want to do this anymore" kind of moment. There are times when it does not matter how powerful our ministry may be, how anointed our gifts may seem, or how purposeful our calling may appear. It may not even matter how many people we build, how many lives we impact, or how much we advance the Kingdom of God. The truth is we become OVERWHELMED and we feel like Jesus when in His humanity, He said "Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me" (Matthew 26:39). What do we say to God at times like that when we are overwhelmed with it, by it, and because of it? Jesus's experience in Gethsemane is a clear indication that we can walk in ordered steps, surrounded by those who love us – or at least those whom we love – and still feel alone and overwhelmed. Sometimes life is not as much fun when we have to do it by ourselves.

Perhaps the most poignant, yet significant, time when Jesus felt OVERWHELMED in His humanity was the moment when He hung on the cross between two thieves as the immolation for mankind's fall and degradation. Having been mocked and scorned, beaten and ridiculed, betrayed and denied, and condemned to die on the world's stage by the court of public opinion as a crowd was given the option of releasing either Him or Barabbas; it must have been the apex of abandonment when He, who after hanging on a cross for about six hours with nails in His hands and feet could have called legions of angels to come to His rescue, instead cried out to the Father with a loud voice "why have you forsaken me" (Matthew 27:46).

It's one thing to be OVERWHELMED, but it seems to add insult to injury when we are overwhelmed in a public setting and then taunted and jeered by our adversaries, and simultaneously misunderstood and abandoned by our advocates. It's enough to be overwhelmed because of faults and failures or nefarious behavior, but it's something altogether different when you are operating in the purpose for which you were created and traveling the journey that leads to destiny, only to have the "wind knocked out of you" as someone looks upon you, like the thief on the cross, and then says "save yourself" (Luke 23:37).

We all have probably had more moments like this than we care to recall. Moments when our faith was tried the most. Moments when our back was up against the wall. Moments when we cried out in despair but no one seemed to answer or care. Moments when we were too paralyzed to muster up the strength to open our mouths. Moments when we had been to the grave yard just one time too many. Moments when we had written obituaries for too many friends and loved ones. Moments when trying to live right and trying to do what we thought was right didn't seem to pay off. Moments when the good that we did was spoken of as something evil. Moments when we became weary, even in well-doing. Moments when our reality did not catch up with our faith, but our past failures caught up with our present. Moments when our body and health seemed to fail us. Moments when our finances did not sustain us. Moments when the joy of serving Jesus became the chore of serving the church. Moments when the happiness of having people around turned into horror when no one could be found. Moments when we felt afraid, empty, and despondent. Moments when drugs and alcohol seemed like the best escape and stress relievers. Moments when suicide was more than just a fleeting thought. For all these kinds of moments and more, we all have wondered and sometimes posed the rhetorical questions: "where do I go" and "what should I do" ... WHEN I AM OVERWHELMED.

Having been overwhelmed and having had the wind knocked out of us is the acknowledgement of a very real and frightening experience for many of us, but even more frightening is the notion that unless we learn how to properly handle and navigate these experiences, we will continue to be left gasping for air. And if we are left in that "gasping" condition too long, we run the risk of cutting off that which is needed to nourish us emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and physically. In other words, it's dangerous to remain continuously overwhelmed and refuse to seek comfort, support, assistance, or relief. In this day and age of self-help and technology, when people are desperately seeking help and searching the internet and trying all sorts of things to find a remedy for the ills that plague their lives and the things that make them overwhelmed, I am still of the opinion that God, in His sovereignty, IS – and has – the answer for whatever ails us. I still find peace in God's word, hope in His promises, comfort in His grace, and refuge in His mercy. I still believe that God is ubiquitous and that He can show up whenever and wherever we need Him. I still believe that if I call on Him, He will give me some kind of answer. Yes, I still believe that God is bigger than my problems, greater than my trials, and higher than my mountains. I am of the opinion that silence is never the answer to being overwhelmed.

Jesus was never silent when He was overwhelmed. He wept; He talked; and He yelled. I have found it helpful to follow His example by giving all of my emotions a voice. Don't remain silent. GIVE YOUR EMOTIONS A VOICE. When the foundation of my life is shaking, I have learned to join my voice with that of David, the celebrated psalmist who pleads "when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I" (Psalm 61:2).

CHAPTER 2

TALK TO YOURSELF

Life is not like a car, a house, or an appliance. It does not come with a prescribed set of warranties that guard us against the bumps, the bruises, and the hard knocks that we will encounter. There are no polices and protective clauses to ensure our repair or restoration from the moments that we are broken, bruised, cracked, tarnished, damaged, or overwhelmed. There is no bargained-for-exchange that contractually binds anybody to shield and safeguard us from the wear and tear of life. There is no guaranteed promise of friendship or companionship – no promise that our earthly journey will include human accompaniment to indemnify us for, from, and against the times, places, people, and circumstances that seek our demise. There is no guarantee that somebody will be there to dry our tears, bandage our wounds, fix our injured egos, or repair our broken hearts. We could have been born as an identical twin or one in a series of multiple births, but there is no guarantee that we will have human companionship during every moment of our lives. Sometimes life will thrust us into situations where we are alone or lonely; and this is not necessarily a reflection of the number of people around, because it's quite possible to be surrounded literally by scores of people yet feel lonely. In addition to feeling lonely, there are moments when we actually find ourselves alone, in seclusion or isolated, separated from the masses. And in each situation, we look around and find that there is nobody on whom we can call. During these very vulnerable and susceptible moments of "alone-ness" and loneliness, despite our religious convictions, we might all benefit from replicating a page out of the life of the biblical character David. When he was in the depth of despair, the scripture indicates that David "encouraged himself in the Lord" (I Samuel 30:6).

There are several scriptural accounts that remind us how David handled some of life's challenges. There is one instance when David, like many of us, was engaged in the normal routine of his life when all of a sudden he came face to face with catastrophe. David had returned home after a journey, only to discover that his enemies had attacked his home, set it afire, stolen his treasures, and had taken the women and children as captives. Then, to make matters worse, his friends accused him and blamed him for this fiasco. David had the wind knocked out of him. The Bible says that David cried until he could not cry anymore (I Samuel 20:4). How many of us have ever been there? How many times have we been beaten by life until it left us weeping until we were exhausted from crying? How many times have we been falsely accused by our friends and the ones who were closest to us? How many times have we been in the midst of those whom we love, yet circumstances caused us to feel alone and isolated? How many times have we been blindsided by the enemy and by the curve balls that life throws? And how many times have we sought comfort, support, solace, refuge, and understanding from others, only to discover the kind of rejection that caused us to recoil into reclusion? Undeniably David was overwhelmed, but his lesson of what appears to be self-preservation reminds us today that when no other human is around – or when those who are around serve no real purpose – we must encourage ourselves.

I will be the first to admit that "encouraging yourself" sounds like a euphemistic phrase that religious zealots use to suggest that folks should just "get over" whatever they are handling, and just "move on" with their lives. However, I don't believe that "encouraging yourself" is a phrase used to dismiss the severity of one's situation. I would admit though, that "encouraging yourself" is probably easier said than done; and though it seems like a very demanding challenge, it is a very necessary skill in the arsenal of the believer and those who choose to navigate life with positive outcomes in mind. I don't have the wisdom or knowledge to develop a magical cure-all or the intellect to compose a methodical list of "how-to's" for "encouraging yourself." However, I do know that it is worthwhile to consider the possibility of what life looks like in the absence of encouragement. If we are not living in a state of encouragement, then we are living in discouragement, which does not come from God.

How burdensome it must be to live in a state of discouragement where we become open and vulnerable targets for the crafts and vices of the enemies of God. Many times our wading in the pool of discouragement comes about because we have attempted to become self-sufficient and self-trusting. We trust our emotions, talents, and intellect to sustain us as we traverse the corridors of life. We develop a very myopic perspective that is cultivated from walking not by faith but by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). When we are "walking by sight" rather than by faith, we seem to completely forget the fact that the Word of God tells us to "[t] rust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). God wants us to stop listening to the voice of discouragement and start heeding the voice of encouragement. We have got to stop listening to the devil's lies; stop walking in fear and doubt; stop focusing on feelings and emotions; stop speaking negatively about our lives; and stop thinking that God is "out to get you." If God were "out to get you," He would have never created you.

We have got to make the very intentional decision to focus on encouragement; and as it was with David, there may be times when no one is around who can or will encourage us, so we must encourage ourselves. This does not mean that I become the exclusive remedy for delivering myself, because if I am my only source of deliverance, then I can never rise above myself. In other words, I can never place "me" higher than "I" already am. To this end, David teaches us to encourage ourselves "in the Lord." David reminds us that our promises and vows to God are higher than our promises to ourselves. He reminds us that when we are in covenant relationship with God, God is therefore concerned about us and He is committed to us; and that God indeed will cause "all things to work together" for our good because we love Him (Romans 8:28).

(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "When I Am Overwhelmed"
by .
Copyright © 2017 Gregory Brad Cutler, J.D..
Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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