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One Chance in a Lifetime
The life story of an Irish Orphan Girl and how she enriched the lives of a family of eight
By John R. Kilsheimer
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2011 John R. Kilsheimer
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4670-5438-6
Chapter One
The Beginning EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING HAPPEN ONCE WHICH CAN CHANGE THEIR LIFE FOREVER. SOME TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT AND FIND THEMSELVES TRULY BLESSED. However, too many let it pass by and forever wonder with regret what could have resulted if they had just accepted the challenge and not let the opportunity pass.
This story begins December 4, 1861 when Thomas Carraher was born in Ireland. When he was around 20 years old, he immigrated to the United States as there was significant poverty in Ireland. He had no relatives in America and it is thought he traveled alone to what he believed was the "Land of Opportunity." He arrived in New York City and lived in that general area for the rest of his life. He resided both on Wadsworth Avenue and Bennett Avenue in Manhattan and Nereid Avenue in the Bronx. He obtained his United States citizenship on October 9, 1888 in Kings County, Brooklyn, New York.
He worked hard and held many positions including being a bank guard, and finally found his niche and became a real estate broker in Long Island City, Queens, New York. He was a devout Irish Catholic who remained single for many years, but in 1920 he married Emily Schaefer of Protestant heritage. They had one child, Elizabeth Henrietta Emily Carraher, born December 21, 1924. At that time Thomas was 63 years old and Emily was 36.
In the early 1920's there was an outbreak of tuberculosis (TB) in the northeastern United States and Mrs. Carraher contracted this disease. She was sent to a sanitarium in Saranac Lake in upstate New York. Unfortunately, she died in 1927 when Elizabeth (later called Betty) was not yet 3 years old.
Chapter Two
Betty's Early Childhood
Betty's father knew that he could not raise a very young child all by himself. Betty had remembered that she had stayed with an order of nuns a short distance north of New York City, and her father would visit her on most weekends and holidays. After her death, I found a letter Betty had handwritten in October 1934 when she was eleven years old. The return address was St. Clare School, Mt. Hope, NY Hastings on Hudson. This immediately led me to an order of Franciscan nuns at Hastings on Hudson whose members were in the process of closing down their facility. A sister, Barbara Eirich, searched their files and sent me a detailed copy of Betty's school records from the beginning up to the middle of her sixth grade. She also located records that showed Betty had been baptized in New York City but had made her First Communion at their chapel at Mount Hope in 1928 and later her Confirmation there in 1933. The earlier records where preschool children had lived at their orphanage were not available as that facility had been closed down many years ago. Sister Eirich's help was invaluable, and she commented how Betty's records showed that she was an outstanding student.
In time Betty's father located an order of nuns whose facilities were closer to his home. These were the Ursuline Sisters located on the Grand Concourse in New York City. Betty boarded and schooled with these sisters until she finished the eighth grade. They were very kind to her and she developed a most pleasing, gracious personality. There were only a few students in each of her classes and she received an excellent education. She could spend a lot more time staying with her father on weekends and school holidays. The two of them became very closely bonded. Interestingly, her father gave Betty a lot of freedom and she became very self-reliant. She later discussed how when her father was busy on a weekend, she would travel by herself on a New York subway to different places of interest. However, her favorite activity was the trips she and her dad would take many weekends. They would simply ride the ferry from New York City to Staten Island and back. They would stay on board for several trips. The cost was only a nickel each for an afternoon of fun and companionship and time in the fresh, open-water air away from the city streets.
Chapter Three
Relocation
Unfortunately, Betty's dad died in April 1936 when he was 74 years of age and Betty was just 11 years old. He was buried in the The Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Mount Pleasant Valhalla, New York next to his wife Emily. This cemetery now has many celebrities residing there, including Babe Ruth and James Cagney.
Betty's dad had no immediate living relatives in this country which resulted in a court hearing to decide who would care for Betty. Older relatives on her deceased mother's side wanted to essentially adopt Betty and have her live with them. The key person was a woman whom Betty called Aunt Liz. Betty was probably named after her and had been to her home several times. However, there was an alternative situation which also had to be considered. There was a young cousin on her mother's side, Bob Drennan, who was attending the University of Pennsylvania, and Betty looked upon him as a friend. He had a Catholic roommate whose mother, Leontine Cambere, had lost a child named Yvonne several years ago and the two young men felt that perhaps Betty could live with his family when she was not at school with the Ursuline Sisters. Bob Drennan could then act as her guardian. The roommate's family, the Camberes, met Betty and agreed to the arrangement. Betty's father through steady savings and probably a life insurance policy had left a modest trust at a bank in New York City to take care of Betty's needs. The trust under the care of Frank Wood would pay a stipend to the Camberes to cover Betty's expenses. This trust would also allow Betty a small monthly allowance until she was 21 years of age. At that time all the funds would be frozen until Betty became 25 years old. After much deliberation, the judge questioned Betty and she convinced him that the arrangement with Bob as a guardian and the living arrangement with the Cambere family was her first choice. She told the judge that her father always wanted her to be raised in a Catholic environment. This arrangement would continue until Betty finished eighth grade at the Ursuline Academy and graduated with her class which consisted of six girls. She lived with the Ursuline Sisters on the Grand Concourse in New York City during the week and stayed with the Cambere family on weekends, holidays and vacations at their home at 5 Willow Place in Mount Vernon, New York.
Chapter Four
The Cambere Family
Mr. and Mrs. Cambere were originally from Armenia and had moved to Mount Vernon, N.Y. which is just north of New York City. Mr. Cambere, who was a rug dealer, had two sons, Ara and Edgar. A few years after Betty lived there, Mr. Cambere died and both sons finished college. Ara married Marion, whom he knew from their church, and they lived with his mother. During the next several years they had six children. Betty helped take care of two of their children, affectionately called Bonnie and Sandy, and became close to the family. Edgar married Margo, the daughter of one of the original founders of Trifari Jewelry, and they lived in a nearby city. Margo and Edgar had two children. Edgar was often away on business and Margo to get a break for a day would have Betty baby-sit their daughter, Michelle, for several hours. Both Margo and Edgar really appreciated what Betty did and this formed a bond which lasted a lifetime.
Ara became a successful businessman and traveled extensively but lived at Willow Place in Mount Vernon for all the years that Betty stayed with their family. Several years later he became head of the investment firm, Hayden Stone, in New York City, and lived in Connecticut. Edgar lived at Willow Place for a few of the early years when Betty was first there, but later was married and served in the Army during World War II. After the war, he was involved in international sales and then joined the Trifari firm and was a great addition to that company in sales and management. He and his family lived in a city close to Mount Vernon, and Betty remained in close contact with both of her foster brothers.
Chapter Five
High School - A New Arrangement
When Betty was ready for high school, a new arrangement had to be made. Betty was moved to White Plains, New York and stayed with the Sisters of the Divine Compassion during school sessions. They had a four-year high school, Good Counsel, and there were now forty-five students enrolled in the freshman section, although only five students boarded there and lived with the sisters. Betty bonded with another young girl in her class who also boarded there. This young girl, Barbara McDermott, later became a nun and was called Sister Mary Pauline.
While writing this book I contacted Sister Mary Pauline and in a letter she recounted a few stories about her time with Betty. A few follow:
"The school year of 1938 -1939 had just begun at Good Counsel. Once again the new school year came with a new school (of friends). I cried the first week at Good Counsel. I don't know if Betty was tired of my crying, but she came to me after the second day at G.C. and tried to make me see the good things at Good Counsel. Later I learned that Betty had issues more serious than mine."
"Betty would wait for (me) if we were in different classes so that we could have lunch together. Betty was an honor student and belonged to clubs. She was in a different track than I, but our friendship grew strong that freshman year."
"I remember well the evening on a walk together we found a bunny. I don't remember his name. Neither of us knew much about bunnies, but we adopted him. Betty charmed the cook and was able to get food for Bunny, mostly lettuce."
"Betty was a special person who touched the lives of our classmates and the girls in the dorms."
Sister Mary Pauline also spoke with me on the phone about Betty. During the final month of her freshman year, Betty found out that she would not be returning for her sophomore year with the sisters. Evidently, there was a financial situation and the money was not forthcoming and she was to attend public school. She said that Betty was very upset about having to leave the school, and she was not her cheery self for the final month of her stay. However, they kept in touch for about seventy years and Betty relived that one year many times over.
The high school in Mount Vernon, New York, where the Cambere family resided, consisted of sophomore through senior years. Betty lived full-time with the Camberes and entered A.B. Davis High School. It was quite a shock since the convent school she had previously attended had a relatively small number of students while A.B. Davis had a few thousand.
Betty loved the challenge. She joined the school newspaper, went out for cheerleading, and was involved in many extra-curricular activities. In her senior year, Betty made the football cheerleading squad and also co-edited the school yearbook. A young man named Bob, who was running for president of the entire student body, asked Betty to run as his vice president. She agreed and it was a very active campaign between two teams. Unfortunately, Bob lost but a significant part of the student body split their vote, and Betty was elected vice president of the school. Betty was also a very good student and was one of two students selected to give an address at their graduation ceremony.
This was a significant record of accomplishments for an Irish lass who never knew her mother and was orphaned at 11 years of age.
Chapter Six
Our First Date
I first met Betty when I was a sophomore in college and came home to Mount Vernon for Christmas break in December 1942. I had lost touch with most of the local girls as I had attended a Catholic high school, Fordham Prep, in New York City and then went to Holy Cross College, also known as "The Cross," in Worchester, Massachusetts. My brother Jim, who already had a steady girlfriend, mentioned that he had met a real nice gal, Betty Carraher, and that it might be a good idea for me to give her a call.
My first call was not very successful as I spoke to someone who had a foreign accent and was most difficult to understand. She did let me know that Betty was not at home. I tried several times later and finally reached Betty. She told me that I had first spoken to an Armenian lady who worked part-time for the Cambere family. However, of greater importance was the fact that we made a date for the following night.
Early the next evening as I walked up to 5 Willow Place, the door opened and out came Betty. She had the greatest, brightest smile. As soon as we left her house she took my hand in hers and by her suggestion we headed for a movie theater about a half mile away. We walked both ways, hand in hand, and shared many stories. Betty was not only very friendly, but she was also most gentle and gracious.
It was the happiest first date I had ever experienced. Betty and I went out almost every night of my vacation. I later called her Betts and I knew that we were a special couple. I had to go back to Holy Cross and she went to Russell Sage College in upstate New York where she had enrolled that fall. We immediately started to correspond, and I anxiously looked forward to all of her letters.
CH7[ Holy Cross College
In 1943 we had two major dances at Holy Cross. The first was before the Navy had completely taken over our part of the college. I asked Betts up to the Cross and we double-dated with a Bostonian friend, Paul Mooney, and his date. We went out together for a light snack after the dance, but I wished we had been all alone for I had not seen Betts for a few months. I had been receiving about $15 a month spending money from my father so I was being bankrolled for the weekend by a friend named John Kennedy. He lived in the Boston area, but never ran for office.
By the time of the second dance, I was full-time in the Navy program at school and received $50 a month salary. I wanted my next weekend with Betts to be special. We went to the movie, Casablanca, on a Saturday afternoon. This was forever "Our Movie." We later dined leisurely and didn't finish until after nine o'clock. I got Betts back to the hotel so she could get dressed for the semi-formal dance, and she said she needed an hour to get ready. Many of my close friends who were not enrolled in the Navy program were leaving school within two weeks as they were either being drafted or were enlisting. There was a large gathering of them in a motel several blocks away. I went there to say our "good-byes." The hour went fast and by the time I picked up Betts and we got to the dance, it was past 11:00 pm. We had a few dances and then a few of my friends, who didn't have dates, tried to cut in on Betts and me. In as polite a way as I could muster, I told them to get lost. Betts looked in my eyes and softly let me know "I had done good." After the dance we walked and talked for quite awhile. Later, when I brought her back to the hotel, the concierge said that I could not escort her up to her room. I quickly told him I wanted to make sure that she was safe, and I promised to be back within five minutes. When we entered the room I went to take her in my arms and turned off the light. She just as quickly turned the switch back on and then put both her arms around me and we kissed and embraced for perhaps a little longer than I had promised the concierge. The weekend was something we both remembered for years, starting with Casablanca, the dance, and ending with who controlled the light switch. ]CH7
CH8[ The Misunderstanding
During the summer of 1943, I had a few weeks off from my studies at Holy Cross and part of that was taken up by a naval training course at the Boston Navy Yard. By late summer I came home, and most evenings Betts and I were together as she had a day job which limited our courting time. One weekend evening we took the train to New York City and spent a few hours going from one hotel lounge to another and enjoying the ambience. We didn't drink much so the waiters all seemed glad when we left.
(Continues...) ]CH8
Excerpted from One Chance in a Lifetime by John R. Kilsheimer Copyright © 2011 by John R. Kilsheimer. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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