June Weddings — I

By Daniel Menaker

(After the New York Times)

                                                       Francesca Marinade
                                                              Joe Falangian
Francesca Calliope Marinade and Joseph de J. Falangian are to be married on the subway on Sunday by the Wrong Reverend Peter Petco. The bride, 31, will take her husband’s name on weekends. “We want to be married on the F Train because that is where we met,” said Ms. Marinade. “Joe came over to where I was sitting and asked me what I was reading. Since I wasn’t reading anything, I knew that either we had the same sense of humor or he was blind. Luckily it turned out to be the former. Then he asked the blind person sitting next to me what he was reading and we had a good laugh over that.” 

Ms. Marinade is the daughter of Jamienne Marinade, of the Aleutian Islands, and a stranger in the night who had appeared on an episode of “The Most Dangerous Catch” and the next day was washed overboard.  She works as an event planner for Eventually Yours,which plans events for kindergartens on the DelMarVa peninsula. She graduated cum laude from Harvard with a degree in “Twilight” Studies.

The bridegroom, also 31 and an event planner serving the Alzheimer community in Delaware (“They never show up,” he says sadly), will take both of his wife’s names when the mood strikes him, mainly on Saturday nights.  He  also attended  Harvard but refused to attend the graduation ceremony because he of his conviction that if Doctor of Philosophy is abbreviated Ph.D., then Bachelor of Arts should be abbreviated Ar.B. His major was Macaronics. “I dated Franny a  few times in college, but she rubbed me the wrong way back then,” he says. He is the son of Benjamin Franklin Falangian, of Amenia Union, New York. Mr. Falangian owns a fleet of taxis, largely in rusting desuetude. “What was I thinking?” he says. Mrs. Falangian died of boredom not long ago.