(After the New York Times)
Panamada Ramada and Kekko Ippikak were married on Friday by Sri Pandit Jujubi, a whatchamacallit, an Indian clergy guy, in South Oranji–I mean South Orange, New Jersey at the Nearly Universalist church. The bride, 26, will take a new name from whitepages. com at the start of every day. She is a hedge-fund manager for Bet Your Hedges LLC, LLP, LMNOP, in New York, a company that invests in greenery, mulch, and garden-tool futures. “This is an arranged marriage,” Mrs. Entwhistle (her name on Friday) said. “In the sense that I arranged my lingerie just so when Kek first came over for dinner.” She is the daughter of Dr. Uttar Pradesh Ramada, a pain-management specialist whose upper limit is 7 on a scale of 10, and Ruth Liebowitz, a retired cooper, also of South Orange. She graduated from Mrs. Pappajohn’s College, in Gris Gusse, Quebec, with a degree in alternative packaging.
Mr. Ippikak, 46, originally from Helsinki, is an adviser in the field of financial deviance risk-aversion metempsychosis management administration. “It’s hard to explain,” he says, “but just imagine you flipped coins a hundred times and found only one or two of them when you were finished and I had the rest–that should give you a rough idea.” The son of two Finns–Dorsal and Huickelberrij– Mr. Ippikak says that when he first saw Mrs. O’Shaughnessy (his wife’s name yesterday), “I knew she was considerably younger than I was, but somehow I didn’t mind.” His parents have earned fame in Finland for counting backward by thirteens.
The story of the couple’s first date, which involved burning tires, Alan Greenspan, and a monsoon off southern Indonesia is fascinating, but as you might guess, it is too complicated to go into here.
Daniel Menaker is the Editor of Grin & Tonic.