SCENE: A restaurant. Jenny and Ella sit together, happily drinking wine and talking.
JENNY: As I drove over here, I was trying to think — how long has it been since we last saw each other?
ELLA: 1988. When we were bridesmaids at Lynette Gilberson’s wedding.
JENNY: That long ago! I don’t know why we ever lost touch with each other. We were best friends from fourth grade through college!
ELLA: BFFs, as the kids say today. To think we’ve been living only an hour away from each other all these years!
JENNY: I’m just glad I found you again on Facebook. Fill me in. What have you been up to all these years?
ELLA: Well, I met my husband, Stuart, at Lynette’s wedding.
JENNY: Spill, girl! Gimme details.
ELLA: I was standing by the buffet table and this cute guy comes over. “I need to get away from this nightmare chick who’s really hitting on me bad,” he said. “Would you pretend to dance with me?” He told the band to play “Time After Time.” I’d never had anybody hold me like that.
JENNY: Let’s see a picture of this magic man.
ELLA: Sure. I’ve always kept the one of him from Lynette’s wedding.
Ella takes her wallet out of her purse and opens it to a photo.
JENNY: That’s Stuart?
ELLA: You recognize him?
Jenny does not respond. She stabs her appetizer with her fork.
ELLA: Are you okay? Oh my God, you’re not the woman he was talking —
JENNY: (Putting down her fork) Look, just for the record: I did not hit on your husband.
ELLA: Sure. Anyway, it was twenty-two years ago. It doesn’t matter. Stu and I hadn’t even met when you came on to him.
JENNY: If that’s the way he wants to reinvent history.
Neither woman speaks for a few moments.
ELLA: So … what have you been up to all these years?
JENNY: I’m divorced.
ELLA: I’m really sorry.
JENNY: Don’t be. I’m much happier now. I’m with a wonderful guy.
ELLA: That’s fantastic! Tell me about him.
JENNY: We reconnected through Facebook, too. Hadn’t seen each other since twelfth grade.
ELLA: Oh my god, who is it?
JENNY: Al Carberry. Said he’d lusted after me ever since the senior prom.
ELLA: What? He was my date!
JENNY: Don’t be too upset. You got Stuart after I rejected him at Lynette’s wedding.
ELLA: He was trying to get away from you!
JENNY: I don’t think so. I had the paw marks to prove it!
ELLA: For the history books — Al Carberry told me at senior prom that I would always be the love of his life.
JENNY: Did he say it while you were dancing to “Time After Time?”
A hunky young waiter appears and sets down their entrees. The two women pick at their food. Finally, Ella sits up.
ELLA: We have to get through this lunch somehow. How do you propose we do it?
JENNY: Oh, Ella. I’m glad we’re here. I really am.
ELLA: Me, too. It’s a good thing we got all this nonsense out of the way. On to renewing our friendship!
Jenny sees the waiter at another table and suddenly registers how attractive he is. Ella follows her friend’s gaze. The waiter smiles at the two women and motions he’ll be right over.
ELLA: Wow, our waiter’s certainly a hottie. And he’s really checking out my cleavage.
JENNY: Don’t be silly. His eyes are on me.
ELLA: Now he’s walking over. Do yourself a favor: don’t embarrass yourself by coming onto him the way you did Stu.
JENNY: If you’re so happily married to the guy who tried to rip my bridesmaid’s dress off, why are you slobbering over a waiter young enough to be your son?
The waiter arrives at their table.
WAITER: You ladies enjoying your lunch?
Polly Frost is a playwright whose humor has appeared in The Atlantic and The New Yorker. She can be found on the web at http://pollyfrost.com.