Customer Reviews for

110 Bite Sized Self Help Super Tips

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 13, 2012

    Sam's Journey Into The Land Of Mordor, Where Shadows Lie.

    U dont just rock into mordor.....DO YOU????? Or u throw rocks at the black gates. *throws rocks at the black ates for a few hours, gets turned into a pincushion, and leaves* not gunna work. Toss gimli? But dont tell the elf? I dont think so. The only efficient way to get the ring into mount doom is to catapult it. It has been proven. Wrong. Thts why im saying this from a dungeon. It wuz boromir's idea. CURSE U. Also.....are there orc females? Or do orcs just pop out of breeding sacks? Psh. I doubt it. Here is a short summary for....er....all ages to understand. Here it is: after recieving a ring, frodo must throw it in a big volcano to blow it up. But things get complicated..and scary.....like wizard with long finger nails scary. *shudders* after destroying the ring, frodo goes to valinor and ruins the ppls lives there. THE END. See wut i mean about simple for all? Pft. I amaze myself. How? I hav no idea. Thats for u to decide. But i think i have a solution for getting out of here...including becoming the ultimate Anti-Christ and breaking all h e l l on mordor. I mean even more h e l l. Hav u ever been bossed by saruman? Ppl say u turn to stone just smelling his breath. But, thts never been confirmed....since no one has survived and encounter with him. Anyways. B-R-E-F STANK. TWO WORDS. ALTOIDS. GUM. Uhoh....here he comes. Saruman: do u know how much trouble uve been causing?! Me: uuuuhhhhhmmmm.......none? Saruman: No!!!! Uve kept my poor little goblets awake with ur constant talking!!!! Me: goblets? Like cups? Saruman: no u fool!!!! Goblets as in evil toddlers!!!! Me: *sees a few wicked looking hog like babies staring hungrily at me. I scream.* saruman: *starts to cry* stooooop!!!!! *totally loses it. Goes down on his knees.* me: *slips out the door and locks saruman in the cell. Makes a beeline for the bathroom.......er.....nvm....tht wuz th ladies' bathroom. Oops.* so that wuz my valiant escape from mordor. I next bombed rivendell, nd beat gandalf in a game of Risk AD. He wuz furious. So......before the elves tracked me down...i ran out of middle earth, dueled tigger for the bathroom, and then returned home. THE END? NEVER. BAAAAIIIII

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 21, 2013

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