Customer Reviews for

The Alphabet Of Manliness

Average Rating 4.5
( 99 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(69)

4 Star

(14)

3 Star

(7)

2 Star

(5)

1 Star

(4)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

Lifesaving.

This book cured my cancer. Unfortunately, all the ass I got because of having read this book caused me to contract herpes.

posted by Anonymous on February 26, 2011

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Most Helpful Critical Review

4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

Just plain dumb

Title makes it funny to give as a gift, but not really worth reading. Predictable.

posted by compostqueen on August 8, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2006

    Thoroughly Entertaining

    I purchased this book for my dad for his birthday. We are both big fans of Maddox's site, so I made it a point to read the book before passing it over to him. I found the book to be extremely entertaining, and an enjoyable read. The artwork made me laugh out loud, and the writing was extremely witty. I do not feel, however, that it is quite the caliber of his website, so if you are looking for something just like his webpage, you will probably be slightly dissapointed.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 20, 2006

    Maddox gave me back my balls.

    After reading this book I have become a man, a man with balls. This book tought me alot of things, I love it.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2006

    A book on manliness by a computer programmer - guaranteed disappointment

    Maddox's legions of drooling, slavishly-devoted fans have helped this book enter the upper echelons of the bestseller lists, but the merits of the book itself are really limited. Reading reviews by Maddox fans, one sees a lot of 'Maddox rulz!', 'I base my life on his teachings,' and other such nonsense. Don't be fooled - the fact that it's selling well doesn't mean it's good. It's a lot like his website nowadays: sometimes funny, but mostly uninspired writing about manliness from a highly unqualified source.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 16, 2006

    Maddox - Greatest man...ever?

    This book will kick your nut sack inside out and shove it back down your throat. 'The Alphabet of Manliness' is the finest peace of literature Shakespeare. Time for all those preppy elitists to re-write the textbooks, because Maddox's new book redefines the entire English language. Infact, the book is such a success, I recommend it to loved ones. Wife giving you a hard time? Maddox's book will beat her FOR YOU. GUARANTEED. Children asking for money? Maddox's book will beat them FOR YOU. GUARANTEED. This book has everything and I recommend for all you pussies out there.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2006

    Maddox knows his stuff

    I once thought I was a man, then this page known as the best page in the universe jumped up and drop-kicked me in the face, I then knew of a man, a pirate, a legend. He showed me the ways of being a true man and since that day of the drop kick I came to love beef jerky and tobasco sauce and other such great thing the Best Page In The Universe has to offer.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2006

    The. Best.

    Really you should read this, whether or not you're a man--you can get manlier--a woman, you can laugh away, or a puny little idiot who's attempting to be manly. This book will make you one. 100% guaranteed!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 26, 2006

    I'm a woman and I love it.

    Even women can find this book halarious. It gives me a picture of the stereotypical male. Us women know what men think about, men just don't know it.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 6, 2006

    Worth picking up if you like this style of humor

    I laughed a lot while reading this very sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek book. I don't expect to see many feminists, hippies, parents, or old people enjoying it unless they are into dark, angry humor, and can handle being the butt of many jokes. This sort of reminds me of an Andrew Dice Clay approach, except Maddox is funny and Clay is an idiot (Clay thinks it's funny to just say swear words out loud). The first couple of chapters are a little slow--especially the first one--but it picks up from there. The best chapters are 'Gas', 'Irate', and 'Metal.' For the accompanying illustrations--and there are a lot of them--Maddox wisely chose artists that are already fans of his site, who totally get the concept he is putting across. And these aren't amateur works, either. Half the humor in them is the irony of, for example, having a series of well-drawn textbook quality images demonstrating the facial expressions a man exhibits when passing through the stages of rage--because he accidentally saw another man's unit at the urinal. My favorites are the flow chart describing the steps to getting a quickie, the nagging girlfriend while a guy gleefully pees off a bridge, and the group of loud, obnoxious women with over-sized mouths. Overall, I'd give this book a 3½ (but that rating isn't available, so I went with 4). It's a fun read, the chapters are short, and it's not a story, so you can set it down and pick it up a week later without having to remember the rest of it. A GREAT BATHROOM BOOK!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 18, 2006

    Maddox will help you, man!

    I used to walk around flippantly thinking I was a man. Not the burly, lumberjackish type of man, but a man who isn't afraid to get dirty, knows how to swing a wrench (or wench or winch), expertly trained to use firearms, etc. Then, Maddox entered my life. Now, I know that I am a man.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2006

    MADDOX DELIVERS KICKS TO ALL KINDS OF GLUTS

    Just how much kicking does maddox deliver to the gluts? Why don't you just ask any vegitarian? If maddox were a pirate, he would be the most feared and respected pirate on the high seas. He is the epitome of badass, any Texan will tell you (and we know a lot about badasses). We all follow the Book of Manliness.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 20, 2006

    MADDOX IS A TOOL!

    Maddox does NOTHING but eat away at the dignity of modern day American culture. His articles are skewed by ignorance and his theories are illogical. Don't spend your money on this book!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2006

    THERE AREN'T ENOUGH STARS IN THE GALAXY FOR THIS BOOK

    You would do well to buy several copies of this book. First of all, you'll need at least two copies for yourself. One to read and one to beat old people with who act scared/confused all the time. Then you'll need a copy to eat to prove how manly you are. Ever seen that guy who gets shot in the chest with a cannonball in slowmotion? That's Maddox's dad. His mother is a bag of broken glass and rusty jagged pieces of slaughterhouse equipment. Maddox has a laser which shoots from his phallus, which is legendary. BUY AS MANY COPIES OF THIS BOOK AS YOU CAN AFFORD. Some day in the near future, you will laughingly remember 'the bible' as you head to the church of Maddox.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2006

    I am male! Hear me roar!

    I put this book on top of my toilet as I saw that as the only fitting location for it. Something didn't seem right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Finally, after a night of heavy fighting and chopping down large trees I realized what it was that so bothered me. I quickly ran home, making sure to shove anyone (man, woman, and especially child) out of my way. Immediately, I grabbed the toilet seat and tore it off. No man sits when he needs to use the bathroom. I am alpha male. Thank you, Maddox.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2006

    Maddox, a great change from pussy media

    Despite people that cry about Maddox success and try to talk down on it all he got where he is by word of mouth and that's the shiz. I've enjoyed his wrightings as they closely paralell my own thoughts and actions. I'll buy 5 just to make up for those that don't get a copy.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2006

    B!tchin!

    Before I read Maddox's website ramblings I used to read novels, comics, play video games, and visit the occasional porn site. Visiting his website was like getting smashed in the crotch by a sack of doorknobs and waking up to what life is really about: reading novels, comics, and visiting porn sites. I also know what it's like to laugh at people that don't deserve it, make fun of children, and hate U2. I also look at doors differently.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2006

    I can't hardly wait

    Maddox and his great satire has never dissapointed me or let me down. This will surely be a breakthrough in his writing, and will certainly please anyone looking for great humor or the fans who have wished for more than his articles.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2006

    Hallowed be thy name, Maddox.

    This is God. Yes, I own a computer. This book is so good, I am formally renouncing all books of the Bible, in every translation and interpretation, and am personally seeing to the immolation of a major orphanage in order to celebrate the coming of the true gospel. In fact, I have already humbly asked Maddox to be his personal assistant. I hope he calls back.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2006

    Maddox and God should be used in the same sentence.

    Maddox. Finally a man worth talking about. A man we should prostrate ourselves in front of. A man who should have his own book in the bible. We should all feel privilaged to be able to be called servents to the King of Kings. A legend in the anals of time, a staple of power and awe on the Internet, A fable to those generations to come, And a god to the men and women who look to him for guidance.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2006

    Hells yeah

    its about time Maddox left cyberspace and entered the tangible universe, so that now i can beat the snot out of old people and hippies with his writings

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2006

    This will win the Pulitzer and Nobel Prizes in Literature

    I base my life on the teachings of Maddox. You should too. This book is better than the Old Testament, New Testament, and Quaran wrapped in an American flag.

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