Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace

Bad Mother A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace

This is the first time I have ever read a book by Ayelet Waldman. I was inspired by Ayelet's honesty and the huge helping of self that she squeezes into every sentence. The love that she has for her children is so raw, so honest that at times you almost feel that you are invading their privacy but it is because of this honesty that you begin to understand that for everything mothers do for their children they do it because of love. Right or wrong, there are really very few bad mothers, only mothers who try in their own way to be a 'good' mother. Ms Waldman holds nothing back as she shares her family's decision in favor of an abortion and also of the diagnosis of bipolar disease that runs in her family. This book opens the door to understanding more about ourselves as mothers, I learned a lot from it and want to thank Ayelet for having the courage to write it.

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Not your typical mommy book

I thought this was such a wonderful book. Each of the 18 chapters is basically an essay on a mothering/parenting related issue. I found Ms. Waldman's writing to be honest, funny, and thought provoking. I enjoyed her candor. I laughed reading this book, I nodded in agreement, I cried. In some cases I didn't agree with her parenting style or choices (that rocketship chapter was a tough one for me), but I strongly agreed with what I felt to be her overall message - mothering is hard, there is no right way, and we make it harder on ourselves and others with our expectations, judgments, and lack of empathy, support and plain old kindness. I appreciated Ms. Waldman sharing her life and thoughts with us.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

A Breath Of Fresh Air

In Bad Mother, Ayelet Waldman talks about how all mothers are made to feel like they are performing poorly as mothers, regardless of their choices. Waldman is married to the novelist, Michael Chabon, and together they have four children. She gives the reader an intimate view of the choices she has made as a mother, and the negative feedback she has gotten for some of her choices.

The book is written in eighteen chapters, each discussing common parenting issues. The stay-at-home mom vs. the working mom is covered, and how each is criticized for what they choose for their family. The marriage partnership and how work is divided is a chapter. Chapters I found especially relevant was one about how they elected to abort a child identified with birth defects, and one that talked about how to discuss sex and the parents' sexual history with one's children. I also liked the chapter about the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship which gave me new ways to look at this common issue through a new filter. The chapter about helping children with their social relationships and not dragging your own angst into the issue was timely, and I loved the chapter about hating homework.

This book is recommended for all readers. Those who are parents will recognize themselves, or at least the issues that most parents face, while those who have remained childless will gain a better understanding of what family life is like.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Loved It, Love Ayelet

After reading this book I felt so close to Ayelet Waldman I would swear we've been friends for years. Only the most successful memoirists can seduce you into that kind of relationship while confessing their greatest sins and fears. Even though she writes of some unsavory topics, her love and good intention shines through, and, as a reader, I just forgive and look forward to the next chapter. As a mother, I found so much humor and commiseration that I actually heaved a sigh of relief at one point. I loved this book and know that I will re-visit it.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

No Thank You

I bought this book as the title immediately grabbed my attenion and I thought the book would be entertaining. As I have children, one with special needs, I thought this book would give me a good laugh and a sense of relation. I understand what the whole objective of this book was, but made no connections to it. After I started reading the third chapter and Ayelet said "skip to the next chapter if you are not this person" I did skip ahead, but then I found myself skipping through the whole book not enjoying what I was reading. All mothers can tell funny stories, but the brutal honesty about some of the material in this book was not what I wanted to read (and definitely not for the faint of heart). This is the first book ever that I have not finished. I was colossally disappointed.

Good laugh and insight for Moms

I enjoyed reading this book during my dauther's first two years of life. It brought humor and light heartedness to the topic of being a mom and not being perfect. It was just what I needed!

Goodbye to Perfect Mother Untruths

In Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace, Ayelet Waldman rails against the cult of the perfect mother that is given new life online now in certain mommy blogs. When we try and live up to unrealistic ideal of maternal conduct, "this creature of fantasy," she argues, "It's as if the swimmer Tracy Caulkins, winner of three Olympic gold medals, setter of five world records, were to beat herself up for being slower than the Little Mermaid." Waldman shares stories of her own good days and bad and reminds us "how profound a problem a young mother's loss of self can be."

Great Book!

While I found a lot of differences between Ayelet and myself as a woman and mother, you truly have to appreciate her brutal honesty and fearlessness. Despite it all she is a loving mother and wife with a successful career. It is a good reminder that as Moms we don't have to be perfect or even try to be perfect. We come in all different shapes and sizes!

Skip this one

As a mother I can relate to her sentiment, her book goes on and on about things that do happen in child rearing. But it tends to get tedious and I got her point after the first paragraph. I got this book after it was rated by an internet website. Bottom line don't waste your time

0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Over rated

I found the book completely uneventful. Most mothers I know behave the same exact way. Considering the author was said to be so risque, I expected to be moved, instead, I had trouble staying awake. Friends, colleagues, and other moms I know from playgroups all admit to acting similarly or at least have some common traits so for her to be seen as some kind of hero for writing a journal is a joke to me.

0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Great book that made me feel very normal...with reassurance of being a good mom!

It's a great book! 9/10 chapters could have been written about my life. From the secret stuff I think as a mom that I can't say out loud... to the great stuff that happens in which "I could just eat my kids up!... about "static" between daughter -in-laws and mother-in-laws, sex, men's roles in the home.

Brutally honest

I have no doubt Ayelet feels the way she does about Motherhood, I just don't share her points of view. I found some of her thoughts/opinions/actions offensive but the whole point of her book is for women to be tolerant of each other's decisions; as a new mother I can appreciate and respect that.

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