Customer Reviews for

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life

Average Rating 4
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(125)

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(39)

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2 Star

(5)

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(13)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

27 out of 29 people found this review helpful.

This Book Is The Pencil That Will Help You Draw the Lines

Wow, why didn't I ever know about this book? You don't hear much about it- I stumbled upon it browsing around Amazon one day. For people wondering if they should buy this book, get it if:

-you're not turned off by a Christian writing approach
-you feel li...
Wow, why didn't I ever know about this book? You don't hear much about it- I stumbled upon it browsing around Amazon one day. For people wondering if they should buy this book, get it if:

-you're not turned off by a Christian writing approach
-you feel like there's a problem because you're trying to be a good person all the time by always saying "yes"

In a nutshell, this book is for people who don't know how to set boundaries for themselves. In other words, they're always saying "yes" to things and taking responsibility for things- even when it's not their job.

And boundary lines of your responsibilities need to be present in more areas of your life than you might realize, such as...

-your family
-your friends
-your mate
-your kids
-your self

The book covers boundary conflicts in each of these areas leaving no stone unturned. Therefore, its no big deal if you have only one or two problem areas- just go to those sections.

This book will help you realize what a boundary is, why it's okay to have them and just how to develop them. So if anything in this review sounds like if might apply to you- don't hesitate to check out the book. Other neat self-help books I liked include "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World".

posted by 940318 on February 4, 2009

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Most Helpful Critical Review

12 out of 18 people found this review helpful.

Very hard to read if you are not religious

As far as writing about boundaries goes, I would give it 5 stars, but since everything is mixed up with realigious quotes and reasons I found it extremely difficult to read. I had to search for the information that had me reach for the book in the first place in between...
As far as writing about boundaries goes, I would give it 5 stars, but since everything is mixed up with realigious quotes and reasons I found it extremely difficult to read. I had to search for the information that had me reach for the book in the first place in between lots of things I not only am not interested in, but often times found annoying.
If you are not religious you might want to take lots of notes to actually be able to see what you want to see.

posted by Joanka on May 7, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 4, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    This Book Is The Pencil That Will Help You Draw the Lines

    Wow, why didn't I ever know about this book? You don't hear much about it- I stumbled upon it browsing around Amazon one day. For people wondering if they should buy this book, get it if: <BR/><BR/>-you're not turned off by a Christian writing approach <BR/>-you feel like there's a problem because you're trying to be a good person all the time by always saying "yes" <BR/><BR/>In a nutshell, this book is for people who don't know how to set boundaries for themselves. In other words, they're always saying "yes" to things and taking responsibility for things- even when it's not their job. <BR/><BR/>And boundary lines of your responsibilities need to be present in more areas of your life than you might realize, such as... <BR/><BR/>-your family <BR/>-your friends <BR/>-your mate <BR/>-your kids <BR/>-your self <BR/><BR/>The book covers boundary conflicts in each of these areas leaving no stone unturned. Therefore, its no big deal if you have only one or two problem areas- just go to those sections. <BR/><BR/>This book will help you realize what a boundary is, why it's okay to have them and just how to develop them. So if anything in this review sounds like if might apply to you- don't hesitate to check out the book. Other neat self-help books I liked include "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World".

    27 out of 29 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 8, 2007

    If applied correctly, its a GREAT relationship guide

    I have read the reviews on here and have a word of caution, no book should be read and applied literally with out interpreting the message and applying the message to your situation with the right intentions. This is not about ultimatums or finding reason for rigid applications to get your way! This book enlightened me to see that relationship can not grow and endure with out boundaries. I have been struggling with overly involved, overly critical in-laws and have been searching for information on how to navigate these highly emotional situations with out being disrespectful or harming the relationship in the long run. It reminds you of what can happen if boundaries are not respected and these types of unhealthy relationships are not what God intended. Being pleasing or perpetuating harmful behaviors is not loving when you are harboring feelings of irritation and anger. Its about communication and doing what right for the relationship in the long term and not what's easy for the present. Loving as God intended includes stewardship BUT doing it in a loving communicative way. Its all about intentions... if your seeking to fulfill selfish wants, negativity begets negativity, you will find a bad result! If you are seeking to fulfill your spiritual needs, love begets love, your relationships will grow stronger and your heart will find peace.

    15 out of 15 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 2, 2009

    People Needing Space - Here's how to get it APPROPRIATELY

    I had no idea how few boundaries I had, and which ones I needed, until I read this book! I knew I needed my "space", but I didn't know why I couldn't seem to get it without hurting myself or others. This book helped me identify what my particular needs are and ways I can have them fulfilled. This book presents a very healthy and honest approach to the subject. Actions - and words - have consequences. We get to choose what we will do, and whether we are willing to get the consequences - for good or for ill. I highly recommend this book, for in our culture we are not taught how to form and maintain good boundaries. This book really helps!

    9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 23, 2009

    Review of Boundaries

    This book was recommended to my wife by her counsellor. I am in counselling as well. I have never been good about sharing my feelings. I quickly realized this book was for me as well. The book discusses the importance of boundaries - what to let in and what to not let in. When to say yes and when to say no. Some relationships in life are harmful and we need to know how to limit their negative impact on us. We need relationships that help us to grow as well as provide support. I recommend this book for anyone who wants to improve their interpersonal relationships.

    9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 18, 2008

    A must read for any mature adult!!!

    Great book!!! I like how the content draws from the Bible. Our family has put the principles of this book into practice & as a result, my family & I are much happier. We are living a much fuller life. We put God first in our lives & His values & principles have made all the difference. We now have more money & more time to help others as God intended.

    8 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 10, 2010

    The Line Has Been Drawn

    I am trying to figure out what I could add to the amazing reviews so many people already have posted. There is nothing to say but buy it. I'd also recommend that you buy "When God Stopped Keeping Score," which takes an intimate look at the power of God and forgiveness. This book too will change your life.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 12, 2009

    A MUST READ!

    Great book. They have others. If you follow actual advice and make it a habbit it can change your life.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 15, 2008

    A Must Read for everyone

    My sister gave me this book while I was still in High School, but like most books, I put this book away, not thinking much about it. It was one of those I'll get to it books, that I pushed aside. Now 8 years later, I finally got around to read it, and I wish I read it when I first received it. The authors give us the readers, a perspective that goes deep into our lives, how we view the world, how others may have impacted us without us even knowing to what level they did... And what they say empowers the readers to really take back control of our lives, through what they call boundaries. <BR/>Boundaries is an "easy-read" because it motivates the reader to keep reading, and we can relate to the examples in this book. I must say, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, have really found a way to minister to God's people through their writings.

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 20, 2012

    Excellent self help for anyone feeling a deep grief.

    Wonderfully and carefully written with spiritual references to back up the content. I would recommend it to anyone who feels they are expected to do it all alone; whatever it is. I will read it again and again suggesting it to others.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 5, 2010

    a must read

    everybody should read this at least once in their lifetime! Reading this book helps you build critical skills to foster healthy relationships be it family, husband, friends, work, kids, etc... It also arms you with skills to address the not so healthy relationships as well. I'll recommend it to everyone I love! By the way, you don't need to be a Christian to greatly learn from this book.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 28, 2014

    A must read and an occassional tune up!

    I bought this book over twenty years ago but was not ready for it. I have struggled with boundaries my whole life

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 4, 2014

    Excellent book!

    When one of my best friends gave this book to me post-divorce many years ago, I thought "Oh no - not another one of those self help books!" Well, it wasn't "another one" - it's the most helpful one I've ever read which addresses not only relationships with former spouses, but virtually every type of relationship one could have - parent/child, co-workers, friendships, etc. The advice & teaching are biblically based, practical, and helpful in many daily circumstances. As this book was given to me at a critical time in my life, I hope others with pass it on to others in need of it's timeless wisdom. It makes a great gift!

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 15, 2013

    Excellent

    This book does offer sound biblical advice. We all need boundaries!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2012

    Brilliant and insightful

    This is a must read for those of us who anguish over our responsibities to ourselves, families and the other relationships in our lives The Biblical references to me are helpful to place the demands of others and our own needs into perspective the book is extremely helpful without being at all"preachy"! This read will inspire me to get my life back on track, give me "permission" to take better emotional care of myself and to stop being the "enabler" I've morphed into over the years by owning all crisis situations others create and

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 5, 2010

    Everyone needs to read this!

    This book is a life changing book. After you read this you will really think about the way you interact with people. It gives you a strong sense of self from a Biblical perspective. This book will definitely help you communicate more effectively with anyone you encounter in your life. I loved that it had help for every person: singles, husbands and wives, parents, etc. This is a must read, truly eye opening. I am letting all of my friends borrow this one! This book was also very well organized in presentation.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2014

    I bought this book probably over 10 years ago. I first picked up

    I bought this book probably over 10 years ago. I first picked up a very small, gift version of it - and liked it - not realizing it was a Christian book. It was when I searched for the regular edition of it that I found that out. I bought it anyway, because it was so interesting. I think it was the first Christian-based book I bought. I have since become a Christian (not necessarily directly because of this book - but who knows??). Since we all have seasons in our lives, I seem to go back to this book, again and again, and it has helped me tremendously. I tend to be a person who has trouble setting boundaries. This book will help you to do so (and to not feel guillty!) and to feel better because of it; whether with your kids, husband, ANYONE in your life. Thank you, God, for these authors!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 12, 2011

    Insightful

    Excellent

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 11, 2011

    Should have read this YEARS ago.

    If you have any relationships eith anyone you shoukd read this. Especially if you have a challenging relationship with anyone. Great read!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 22, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Boundaries are real! Boundaries are healthy!

    You may pick up this book to help you with boundaries but once you start reading, you will begin to realize how important they are to those around you. Without boundaries, you aren't just hurting yourself but those you love. Learn boundaries to grow healthy and long lasting relationships!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 18, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Real Life Tips!

    If you want real life tips to set boundaries in your life then this is the book for you. It's amazing how a person without boundaries can not only be hurting themselves but the people they care most about in this world. Reading this book will most certainly open your eyes to your place in this world and how boundaries make for a healthier and happier life.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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