The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships

A Must-Read for Men and Women (Married or Single!)

I purchased The Conversation yesterday (9/8/09) when it was released and I finished it today. What a great read! I've been a fan of Harper's genuine conversational-style writing since his debut, Letters to a Young Brother, and the follow-up, Letters to a Young Sister, and in his signature-style, the conversation continued in this latest work. Hill Harper is an example of so many of us that are still "working it out" on some level, though some of us dare not admit it. The book is a breath of fresh air as it serves as a model for true transformation as the writer goes on his own personal journey during the process of "The Conversation." Equally informative and engaging, are the candid conversations of the subjects profiled, which range from the conservative to the extreme. Hill manages to present this work without his bias but doesn't neglect to offer his own wisdom about the important issues like sex, money, child rearing, and fidelity. This book is not about--as that old adage informs--eating a fish for a day, The Conversation is about learning to fish to eat for a lifetime. Readers, cast your rods and get into "The Conversation." Excellent job Mr. Harper; keep it cutting-edge and straight. We love that. I'm officially in "The Conversation."

Extra testimonial:
I'm a 35-year-old woman (a daughter and a mother) that had a candid conversation about sex with my mother today-for the first time; what seemed taboo was natural as I took the lead and inspiration from The Conversation. My courage to be bigger than the "appropriate" old model rooted in a lot of "pretendism" (my new made-up word), created a new space for me and my mother. In turn, she talked openly about her sex life as an adult (and lack there-of). I didn't imagine that conversation but we have to delve into those important topics and if we can't do that with ourselves and our loved ones, we're kidding ourselves about creating and/or maintaining healthy romantic relationships. I can't wait to talk to the men I know-without judgment-but with a true commitment to engage toward solutions. The Conversation offers a lot, but you'll have to read the book to get those jewels.

Melody Fox

17 out of 18 people found this review helpful.

Thought Provoking and Inspiring!!!

I purchased the book the day that it hit the market and completed it the following day. I would like to praise Mr. Harper for his honesty in sharing the mistakes which he has made in dating black women. I am so glad that he wrote this much needed book. I have recommended the book to all of my friends(male and female single and married). I have also purchased a few copies and given them as gifts to my close girlfriends. I have not only committed myself to disengage in sister talk bashing black men but I have also stepped up to the plate to let my girlfriends know that it is not ok to carry on such a conversation. It is my hope that black men will also take the time to read this book so that they can examine themselves and realize the changes that they must make in order to heal the black male/female relationship. Only then can we ultimately change the distructive course of the Black family.

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Awesome, Thought Provoking,In-Your-Face Read

Hill Harper has laid our issues in our laps so that we can no longer ignore them and offers us the courage and assistance to make a change. This book was so honest and open. It made me acknowledge and face things that were hidden. I was hooked from just reading the introduction, so much so that I brought a copy for my brother as a gift before reading chapter 1.
Haper in this book has offered us a road map from beginning to end on how to be better people so that we can be better friends and lovers to our partners.By the time you finish this book you will have been give the permission to forgive yourself and the tools to fix the errors. You will be left with a willingness,open mind, heart and a renewal to love; WITH NO EXCUSES!

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Then Conversation

I pre-ordered this book and it is so worth it! Hill Harper is a very deep insightful man. I hope that this book allows us to look at ourselves and one another openly, with, love honesty and desire. I hope this book does stimulate conversation and growth. Black men and women need one another. Number one selling book!!!

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

This book is worth the conversation...

I purchased this book the day it was released. I am please to state, Hill Harper has done it again. I am a 44 year old African American woman, recently separated from my husband, who is still learning and growing. Hill Harper provided wonderful insight into male/female relationships by giving us a look into his own life, as well as those of his family and friends. This book is a gem. I will be incorporating what I have learned in my future relationships, so as not to repeat the same terrible patterns so many of us do. Maybe there will be a Converstaion Party in my neighborhood :)

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Loved, loved, loved your book!!

I purchased this book Saturday morning 9/12/09 and finished it on Sunday morning 9/13/09 prior to church : ) I cannot say enough about it, your honesty, the discusions, your insight, our history playing such an integral part in our lives, very well written, your brilliant!. and still single? still looking?...... : ) I have had conversations with my male/female friends and purchased several books for them as well. this is a very much needed book, thank you so much for sharing and informing.

Sincerely,
Ms. Sherrill Horton

PS: Will you be doing a book signing in West Palm Beach, FL?

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

The Conversation

I greatly enjoyed this book. I've read all three of Hill Harper's books and this one is by far my favorite. I did not enjoy Letter's to a Young Sister though.

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Excellent!

I enjoyed this book in its entirety! He is by NO MEANS a relationship expert, but he does offer thoughts (not suggestions) for being more open to having effective conversation. As a teacher, I often see that our children are not being taught basic social skills-communication. These children often will display inappropriate emotions and actions that are socially unacceptable. I had a senior in high school cry because someone moved her backpack across the room as a joke (this is only an example). These children often grow into adults with poor communication skills. And guess what ladies? We get to date these men (and vice versa for the men). Could you imagine dating a woman like this?

The book almost gives you (me) confidence to ask questions that are on your mind and be open to responses from your partner. And I don't just mean intimate partnerships, I would include family and friends as well. This was the first book that I purchased for my Nook (my new boyfriend) and I could not put it down. I read the book over Christmas Break. I would often lean over to my boyfriend (the real one) and just ask a question and actually get a thoughtful response.

The approach is the key when dealing with intimate relationships. For example: women are often light hearted when having any type of conversation with their friends-but when they have a conversation with their partner they approach it as a boring dull process. Why not, try just communicating in the same light hearted way with your partner? Don't make it mundane, confrontational, boring, meaningless, etc. Just, "hey, what do you think about.?" See how it goes. The book was great! At the end of the book he also offers "conversation questions" for a party-plan to do that this summer with some lively folk!

1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

I recommend this book! Share with family!

Hill Harper did a tremendous job in wriitng this book and giving the issues we face as Africian Americans, a voice and face. I felt is was refreshing and relevant to what is happening in our community, home and families today. I enjoyed how Mr. Harper wove his story in with the stories we, everyday men and women, are facing as well. I was so moved, impressed, and uplifted, to host my on "conversation" parties. Plese read this book and let's start conversating!

1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

A must read for Black Couples!

This book really talks about issues that we as African-Americans are afriad to discuss such as, trust issues, practicing open communication, and knowing your own needs. Honestly, this book has made me view Black men in a different light and help me to realize that there are good men out there we as a people need to learn how to communicate the things that we need from our partners and be real with yourself. (come correct) The book makes me want to have conversation parties with my friends to promote healthy relationships. After reading this book you can't help spread the word!

1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

GREAT BOOK BY HILL HARPER ONCE AGAIN

This book takes a view from the perspective of the Black Female AND Black Male discussing how we can dispel myths and misunderstandings about each other, our race and how to move forward in loving relationships. It does not put the responsibility on one sex or the other but both. He doesn't give shallow tips to 'catch a mate' or what games to play but provides an intelligent conversation that will benefit our race as a whole.

1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

A good conversation piece.

I really liked this book, mostly for its candor and insight. It's something all women and men should read, whether they are single, in commited relationships or married. The key to converstation is to listen, and this book tells how.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

This book makes you realize relationships can last!

was very amazed by the conversations in this book. It is really thought provoking; I really wish I was reading this with a book club because it makes for great conversation (no pun intended). I think Hill really hit it on the nail with relating our behavior to slavery. I never thought of it that way until this book. What makes this book different from most relationship book is the rules. This book isn't trying to teach you how to get a partner, it's trying to show us what changes we need to make within to sustain a healthy relationship. The book is really deep and I think all couples married and single should read it. I've heard the people are saying "how is Hill writing a book about relationships and marriage when he is single"... but when you read the book you will see that this was just as much of a learning journey for him as well. Hill really did his work; he had conversations with married, singles and even divorcees. There are many valid opinions in this book, but the way Hill brings it all together and paints the picture of love is truly beautiful... Lastly, the financial advice in this book was the best you could give a couple. And he does know a little about finances, after all he was part of the best financial advisory team in the History of Campaigns.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Conversation Necessary

The Conversation is more than another relationship book, but a call to action. Hill's own personal journey gives the book a level of authenticity not found in many books. A must read for men AND women. Let's start the conversation with others and with your inner-self.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Loved The Conversation

This book placed me in an optimistically cheerful mood. It was tremendously insightful. Most relationship books speak to one gender. This book spoke to both. Despite being written by a man; the book's point of view was balanced. It didn't have a masculine slant. Both men and women can appreciate this book. Every page was packed with theories, ideas, comments and thoughts that help conceptualize feelings about the opposite sex, marriage, family, and love. It was also clever of Harper to weave a tender love story in the fabric of the pages.
I loved the Conversation.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

This book opened my eyes...

Whether you're in a relationship or not.Looking for someone or just taking your time to find that "special someone".Married,divorced,single.Man or woman...this book is for you. I recommened this for anyone who is just looking for answers,period. I swore up and down my fiance helped right this book, or at least took part in some of the conversations that when on in some of the chapters.Please get it.read it.and re-read it. It will make you realize things about yourself and your partner(s),past or present...Get it!

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Great!

I thought this book was honest, and enlightening. It definately made me open my eyes to some of my current and past situations and really think. I would definately recommend this book, nomatter what your race.

5.98 in store

What's up with that!?! The book is on clearance for $5.98 in store!

Start the Conversation

The title of this book is self explanatory and its true. Please start the conversation amongst yourselves about the personal relationships that you have. Discuss where you see it going. The author lets you into his own personal relationship with Nicholle. I think that is a good way of starting it. And then he also has questions that I actually answered some of them. I didn't post them but I wanted too. Those questions help you see where you might be already in that conversation or where you may want to go. I think we all could use some of what he says in there as just truth and a barometer of the truth.

A dose of reality for relationship seeking people.

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