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Curses!

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

¿A Mystifying Jaunt Into an Enchanted World¿

If you think you know all there is to know about the Fairy Tale and Nursery Rhyme characters you loved as a child—think again!! When Cinderella is run over and killed by a bus in New Never city while trying to rescue a bluebird straying into traffic, her Step-Sister; As...
If you think you know all there is to know about the Fairy Tale and Nursery Rhyme characters you loved as a child—think again!! When Cinderella is run over and killed by a bus in New Never city while trying to rescue a bluebird straying into traffic, her Step-Sister; Asia, enlists the help of villain; “R. J.”, better known as “Rumple Stiltskin” to leave no stone unturned in finding “Cindi’s” murderer. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be a problem, but R.J. is a villain, not a Private Investigator and is on mandatory mental health leave from the Villain’s Union due to villainous-related stress. Along with his leave, he receives a curse. The type of curse no self-respecting villain would relish., for he is cursed to perform only polite deeds of kindness. The investigation takes R.J. from his familiar surroundings in New Never City to the wacky Kingdom of Maledetto, complete with the King, his Queen, the other ugly Step-Sister Dru and an enchanted forest filled with familiar named characters with not-so-familiar traits. J.A. Kazimer will lead you through a maze of possibilities spiced with some violence, intrigue, sex and humor. Was Cinderella’s death an accident?? Has someone concocted an evil plot against residents of the kingdom?? The author has you guessing right up to the end. “Curses!” is a welcome change from the typical mysteries I have been reading. If you enjoy this volume as much as I have (and I bet you will!)—you’ll be happy to learn there is a sequel due out in the not-to-distant and Author Kazimer has generously included its prologue and first two chapters for you to savor. ..which I have done and can’t wait for its release so I can explore these imaginary lands once more. Nancy Narma

posted by 52chickadees on February 28, 2012

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

The "Fractured Fairytale" Returns. I received this

The "Fractured Fairytale" Returns.



I received this book from the author, J. A. Kazimer.

RJ first meets Asia when he plops into his favorite chair…and lands in her lap. Things go downhill for him from there, although they haven’t been going all that great l...
The "Fractured Fairytale" Returns.



I received this book from the author, J. A. Kazimer.

RJ first meets Asia when he plops into his favorite chair…and lands in her lap. Things go downhill for him from there, although they haven’t been going all that great lately anyway. The villain’s union has suspended him and placed a curse on him; a curse that not only prevents him from acting in a villainous manner, but causes him to agree to do anything nice that anyone asks of him. Anyway…back to Asia. She has mistaken RJ for a famous detective and asks him to find out who killed her stepsister…Cinderella. Being cursed, RJ has no choice but to agree to Asia’s request. Of course, her smoking hot, not-so-ugly-stepsister looks would have guaranteed his agreement even without the curse. RJ soon discovers that solving Cindi’s murder won’t be as easy as he first thought, what with people trying to kill him and dead bodies piling up around him faster than he can be accused of their murders. On top of all that, he has to win the heart of the newfound love of his life…Asia. If she has a heart, that is.

Curses! is an adult fantasy/mystery/humor/romance set in almost every nursery rhyme and fairytale you can remember, with a few classic children’s novels thrown in for good measure…or at least a somewhat f**cked up version of each of those. It will keep any mystery, romance, or mystery/romance fan up reading past their bedtime. Throw in the “fractured fairytales,” and anyone may find themselves still reading at dawn…trying to finish before it’s time to head off to work. Kazimer develops her characters…almost all of them deviant in some way or another…so well that you’re likely to see a few of your coworkers, friends, and family members in the story. She throws enough twists into the story to keep you wondering right to the end who actually killed Cindi, and why.

With the inundation of political ads lately, turn off the TV and pick up Curses! for a couple of evenings of mystery and laughter…and don’t be late for work!

posted by TheChaoticBuffalo on September 13, 2012

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  • Posted February 28, 2012

    ¿A Mystifying Jaunt Into an Enchanted World¿

    If you think you know all there is to know about the Fairy Tale and Nursery Rhyme characters you loved as a child—think again!! When Cinderella is run over and killed by a bus in New Never city while trying to rescue a bluebird straying into traffic, her Step-Sister; Asia, enlists the help of villain; “R. J.”, better known as “Rumple Stiltskin” to leave no stone unturned in finding “Cindi’s” murderer. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be a problem, but R.J. is a villain, not a Private Investigator and is on mandatory mental health leave from the Villain’s Union due to villainous-related stress. Along with his leave, he receives a curse. The type of curse no self-respecting villain would relish., for he is cursed to perform only polite deeds of kindness. The investigation takes R.J. from his familiar surroundings in New Never City to the wacky Kingdom of Maledetto, complete with the King, his Queen, the other ugly Step-Sister Dru and an enchanted forest filled with familiar named characters with not-so-familiar traits. J.A. Kazimer will lead you through a maze of possibilities spiced with some violence, intrigue, sex and humor. Was Cinderella’s death an accident?? Has someone concocted an evil plot against residents of the kingdom?? The author has you guessing right up to the end. “Curses!” is a welcome change from the typical mysteries I have been reading. If you enjoy this volume as much as I have (and I bet you will!)—you’ll be happy to learn there is a sequel due out in the not-to-distant and Author Kazimer has generously included its prologue and first two chapters for you to savor. ..which I have done and can’t wait for its release so I can explore these imaginary lands once more. Nancy Narma

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 11, 2012

    An entertaining take on the murder mystery. Curses! falls in th

    An entertaining take on the murder mystery.

    Curses! falls in the same vein as the book Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, taking a reality populated with fantasy characters and establishing it as the norm - in this case, fairy tale characters. The "protagonist" is a villain, one Rumple "RJ" Stiltskin, who's been cursed to be nice and helpful by his local villains' union. He winds up embroiled in the investigation of Cinderella's murder. The story moves quickly from scene to scene, and the author mixes humor, intrigue, and the developing romance between RJ and Cinderella's sister Anastasia well. At times, I thought the fairy tale puns were a little heavy-handed but overall they fit well within the scheme of the worldbuilding. Overall, a fun read.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 6, 2013

    Among other things, this book is aptly titled, because let¿s fac

    Among other things, this book is aptly titled, because let’s face it (and get this out of the way right now): this isn’t your mother’s fairy tale. Is that a bad thing? Hell no. Sure, the antics are a bit outrageous at times, but one definition of good comedy is that it resides in the extremes, and there are plenty of extremes to be had. I could give you a play-by-play, but you should enjoy it for yourself the first time, without me spoiling most of the fun for you. And there is fun to be had if, like the characters, you let yourself go for a bit, or as long as it takes you to go from “Once upon a time…” to The End.

    Having met the author at the 2011 Left Coast Crime Conference, I was a little hesitant to read this book on my Kindle, even though I purchased it from Amazon on May 1, 2011. What if I didn’t like CURSES! or I developed a different impression of the author after having read her novel? Those concerns seem rather trivial now, after having read, and thoroughly enjoyed this twist on Cinderella with the forced-to-be-nice villain RJ. With evilly attractive stepsisters, a serial killer in the red hood, one dead Dumpty, and an overpowering Miss Muffet, there’s something for everyone.

    J.A. Kazimer proves she knows her fairy tales, and she’s not afraid to jerk them around for her own twisted amusement. If you love alternate reality fairy tales, you’ll want to run, not walk, to your local bookstore, or your favorite online venue, and grab your copy today.

    Robert Downs
    Author of Falling Immortality: Casey Holden, Private Investigator

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 3, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    This book is among the fun subgenre of books that take children'

    This book is among the fun subgenre of books that take children's fairy tales, nursery rhymes, and other characters that would be at home in a Grimm tale or Disney movie, and takes those "wholesome" icons and hands them a bottle of Jack, a stack of $1s, and send them to Las Vegas to see what happens. We are introduced to RJ, a villain who has been put on sabbatical due to a nervous breakdown after his divorce. Now, RJ, once the most badass villain in New Never City, is doomed to "being nice" until the villain union reinstates him. And this leave of absence couldn't have come at a worst time. Cinderella had been recently found dead---struck by a city bus---and now one of her "ugly stepsisters" has come to RJ, seeking his help under false pretenses he is not willing to correct any time soon. Asia, the eldest of the stepsisters, wants RJ to help her find out who killed Cinderella in order to save the kingdom.

    Begrudgingly, RJ agrees to help (since she asked him so nicely, he has to help her due to being "cursed to niceness"). The unlikely pair travel to the kingdom and RJ is plunged into a strange world of troll butlers, closeted princes, and a pair of homicidal monarchs.
    RJ's situation steadily grows dicey as the plot thickens. Allies suddenly have evidence point against them that could implement them as suspects. New truths are revealed about the royal family and those around them with each turn as the mystery deepens and as RJ gets closer to whomever killed Cinderella. Through twists and turns, our anti-hero (literally, doing anything heroic is quite against the villain's code!) draws closer to solving case and winning the heart of the girl of his dreams. Even if she may be out to kill him.

    Kazimer has a biting sense of humor, satire, a mouth like a sailor, and a twisted talent for making the most innocent fairy tale character into a mob boss with a mean right hook and a pension for triple homicides. Given that the version of the book I read was an ARC, there were some formatting errors (one paragraph wasn't indented *gasp!*), and there did seem to be some pacing/flow lapses during the latter half of the story, I won't go too hard on the criticism for this book in hopes that those were caught and worked on in later editing rounds. Overall, I found the book a great and quick read, a more substantial "fluff" book for summer or lazy day reading bouts, but yet not too heavy and cumbersome to turn you off from it. If you have a bit of a dirty/jaded side and realize that the original Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen versions of these tales we grew up on and/or told our children were a helluva lot more violent and adult than what we remember (or what Disney would lead you to believe), then this book is for you. Also, there is a teaser of the next book in the F***Ked Up Fairy Tale series that this one was apparently the first in. Go out and buy this book now if you want a truly original story that, hidden beneath murder, crime, lies, and a pond full of frogs waiting to be kissed into a prince, there is an amazing tale of a man fighting for what is most important in his life.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 25, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    A raunchy mix of fairy tales with very adult language and content

    You don't need me to tell you that Curses isn't your ordinary fairy tale re-telling. The title does a fine job of that all on its own. No, this is a fresh story with just enough borrowed from the Grimm brothers to help us keep our footing. RJ is a villain in trouble. The union has decided he's going through an emotional crisis and has stripped him of all his villainous powers. No matter how hard he tries, everything he does turns out good. He can't help but help people. Kazimer teases us along this unlikely romance between an "ugly" princess and her villainous knight. Meanwhile she weaves an intriguing mystery, punched up with epic action and saucy banter. Kazimer is a brilliant writer who took a simple sweet tale and made it her own. Her sense of humor is almost scary at times and you wonder if she was sober when she wrote Curses. Anyway, I loved the book, the plot, the romance, EVERYTHING. I highly recommend it, strongly encourage anyone who loves a f***ed fairytale to check it out, and definitely anyone who likes paranormal, or fantasy, because while this is not exactly what I'd normally classify under those genres, it is definitely not your run of the mill contemporary either. I mean, there are killer bluebirds, what's normal about that? This book is witty, fun, and hilarious, a perfect combo if you ask me.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 15, 2012

    Not Your Usual Fairy Tale! RJ is a fairy tale villain. Except t

    Not Your Usual Fairy Tale!

    RJ is a fairy tale villain. Except the Union has cursed him for a screw up and now everything he does is not villainous at all. Oh, no. Everything he does, no matter how villainous he tries to be, turns out to be nice. It’s enough to make a bad villain cry.

    RJ has been cursed for six days and it’s driving him crazy. He wants to get back to villainy, but the Union thinks he needs a little more time, maybe even a vacation. Then he comes home to find a pretty, sexy and ravenous woman in his favorite chair. She inhales his dinner and asks him to help her solve what she believes is the murder of her stepsister, Cindy. As in Cinderella. Yep. Cindy was pushed in front of a bus and Asia wants to know who did it. Because of the curse, RJ can’t say ‘No.’ and besides he’s hoping to score with the pretty, sexy woman, so off they go to the Kingdom of Maledetto to find themselves a murderer.

    Amusing and irreverent this is not a story you want to read to the kiddies. No, no, no. This is for grown ups. The fun I had reading it is probably only slight compared to the fun I imagine was had in the writing of it. Perverting fairy tales. Why didn’t I think of that?! I look forward to reading Book 2!

    *The publisher provided a copy of this book for me to review. Please see disclaimer page on my blog.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 11, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

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