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Divorce Busting: A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 20, 2004

    Great but reccommend Divorce Remedy instead

    Very helpful advice. I am a service member deployed to Iraq and while here my masrriage suffered greatly, to the point that my wife stated she wanted a divorce. I applied many of the principles in this book and though we still have a way before we're out of the woods, I have noticed signifigant improvement. I think most of what is preventing further improvement right now is the separation due to this deployment. I am currently reading divorce remedy by the same author and would reccommend that over divorce busting as it is a more up to date version of the same advice. One person really can change a marriage.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2001

    Divorce Busting saved my marriage and my family

    The last reviewer totally missed the point of the book. This is the most practical book on saving marriages on the brink of divorce that I have ever read! IT saved my almost dead marriage. I never thought that my wife would come back after 16 months of separation. But after reading this book and following the advice the author offers, she came back and we are happier than ever. If your marriage is going through a hard time, I strongly recommend that you read this book. I never thought our marriage could be as happy as it is now. This book is a life-saver!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 29, 2001

    Author advocates insincerity and a dismissive approach toward one's true feelings

    I agree with the other reviewers who found this book overly simplistic. While it may offer some useful ideas to couples who are experiencing the very earliest hint of a problem, it does not offer anything substantial for couples who find themselves further down the path to separation. <p> The author seems conflicted in several of her central tenets, one being that the past does not matter. She repeatedly advocates searching your past for behaviors that worked and advises that you simply *repeat* them. Even if we were to accept that suggestion makes sense for adults who may have changed and grown over the years, weren't those the behaviors that ultimately led you to the point where you are today? <p> She also encourages insincerity by advising that you act in ways that do not accurately reflect your feelings; in fact, she advocates acting out a 180 for the express purpose of shocking your spouse. The idea seems to be that you can shock your spouse into changing in ways that will fulfill your needs (but permanently?). Case study after case study simply shows one spouse acting out a set of fake feelings and the other spouse not doing anything differently. <p> 'Don't become complacent too soon,' the author advises -- you'll have to keep up your 'acting as if' routine for some time in order to make a difference. Doesn't this language bother anyone? *Too* soon? As if complacency is inevitable. <p> Perhaps the trick here is really on the person reading the book and not on the receiving-end spouse -- if you can be convinced to reverse your outward responses to your situation, maybe you will eventually forget that those responses were never genuine in the first place. Then no one has to change anything, and you too can be happy in just 4 to 9 sessions . . . <p> 'You don't have to like it, just do it' does not sound like a recipe for fulfillment or mental health to me. It sounds like resignation for the purpose of maintaining the status quo. <p> I doubt whether many couples who *could* benefit from this book (in the earliest stages of problems) would even be able to identify that they need this book. The title is misleading. It should indicate that it is about how to deal with minor annoyances, not how to deal with deeply rooted problems that have evolved over years. <p> In my opinion, many of the suggestions in this book ultimately short-change everyone, and can only lead to both partners feeling betrayed and disappointed. I think this book is irresponsible in its suggestion that quick fixes can be achieved through game-playing, faked behavior, and the repression of genuine feelings.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2000

    I would be divorced were it not for DB!

    If I had not read Divorcebusting and applied the principles, I would be divorced by now. We are a ways from being completely reconciled, but the indication is there. It's been a long, hard road, and even if my marriage were not recovering, I would have become a better person because of the book. Don't you believe it -- one person can make a difference in a rocky marriage!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 23, 2000

    It saved my marriage

    A must read for those with troubled marriages. This book gave me the tools to understand how to identify what I needed to change to save my marriage.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 9, 2000

    Divorce Busting: A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again

    'Divorce Busting' is very unrealistic! One person can not save a marriage by themself! I wish I had not read this book because it gave me false hope. I would have done much better to move on.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 9, 2000

    Divorce Busting: A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again

    I wish I had never found this book! I wasted a long time upplying these principles! It is NOT possible for one person to save a marriage alone, no matter how much they want it. This book may be great for shakey marriages, but if you are already separated, forget it! The author must live in 'Never Never Land'!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 10, 2000

    DB WORKS WONDERS!!!!!!!

    Michele Weiner-Davis has some really great ideas on how to get your marriage back on track. Reading this book has helped me so much. My husband had moved out, had an affair, you name...he's done it. Thanks to DB my life is so much better than before, and our relationship has prosperred because of it. I owe my happiness and fulfillment to Michele.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 17, 2000

    Divorce Busting turned my marriage around

    Here's the bottom line: When most people's marriages are falling apart, they spend a lot of time pointing fingers at the other person. This book convinced me that no matter what my husband did to damage our relationship--grew cold, withdrew affection, had an affair--I still could, in changing myself, help to change him. It ain't easy, folks, to put on a happy face when you feel like you've been so wronged. But it worked for me. It is VERY hard work to save a marriage, but this book got me on the right track.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 6, 2000

    THIS BOOK CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOUR LIFE FROM MISERY!

    Divorce Busting is a book that provides POWERFUL techniques and ideas for mending marriages and interpersonal relationships of all types. By providing the reader with the fundamentals of SBT (solution oriented based therapy) and easy to follow techniques, most torn relationships can be back on track in a very short period of time. The only thing the reader needs to supply is knowledge of their spouse and a willingness to use Michele's techniques creatively. I know this works! My marriage was in ruins (seperation, affair, etc...), but after learning to use the generic techniques in DB, my marriage and life are better than I ever could have imagined. Take action to save your marriage!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 8, 2000

    DIVORCE BUSTING WORKS, THIS BOOK SHOULD BE MANDATORY READING FOR ALL COUPLES

    I was sure my 25 year marriage was doomed, nothing that I said or did could convince my husband, that we could work through our problems. He didn't want to be married to me anymore and he wanted a divorce. This book and Michele's techniques in Solution Brief Therapy (SBT), completely turned my marriage around. It taught me to look at situations that were problematic and find solutions to improve them. I am happy to say that my marriage is now better than ever, thanks to Michele Weiner Davis and her book Divorce Busting. In my opinion a 5 STAR rating is not high enough.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 15, 1999

    Great book... Although a bit unrealistic

    I thought the book was a great read. Thorough, practical advice for therapists and couples. Realistically, however, all too many couples wait to fix it until it is far too broken. Solution-oriented therapy, like psychodynamic or any other theory, should not be viewed as a fix-everything. If a couple has crossed a certain line... too much cheating, lying, etc. it may take far more than a change in the most-invested member of the family. Her ideas can give partners hope in a new beginning, which is far better than no hope at all.

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    Posted December 27, 2009

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    Posted July 14, 2010

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    Posted October 2, 2010

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