Customer Reviews for

Emotional Blackmail: When the People In Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You

Average Rating 4.5
( 17 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 17 Customer Reviews
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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 25, 2004

    This Book saved our lives!

    A friend gave me this book and though reading it I realized what I had been living with for far too long. It gave me ways to deal with my abusive husband and ways to gain back control in my life. It gave me the courage to get myself and my children out of an abusive 9 yr. marriage. This booked saved whatever soul I had left and helped me to rebuild my life. I give this book to friends that are going through the same.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 27, 2002

    Did Dr. Forward Live in My House?

    I have the older version by Dr. Forward and was just stunned as I read the book. Here is an author who, for the most part, accurately described the environment in which I grew up. I'm appreciative of this book because Dr. Forward gives many suggestions and examples for dealing with emotional blackmail. At the same time, Dr. Forward does not encourage or even hint at one donning a martyrdom behavior either.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 10, 2002

    Excellent Read!

    This is one of those books that I save and re-read from time to time. My last relationship was with an angry, controlling Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde. After I broke up with him, we bumped into each other on the street. One minute he was begging me to give him a second chance, the next minute he was blaming me for everything and tried to make me feel guilty. Fortunately, after reading this book, I recognized the emotional blackmail for what it was and called him on it. Additionally, I told him he was trying to dish out guilt and I was simply not going to accept it. He stood there silent and stunned. I had stood up for myself. I walked away feeling dignified and empowered. This book helped me take a step forward in my self-discovery and growth!!!!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 12, 2000

    What a Life Changing Book

    This book helped me grow in ways I never thought possible. The person in my life who used Emotional Blackmail on me daily, was totally intimidating to me. After reading this book, I was able to confront this person and let it be known that this type of communication was unacceptable to me. It was a hard, painful process however, the outcome has been wonderful. No more Emotional Blackmailing and I feel more in control of my life. I recommend that you buy this book and refer to it often and as needed.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2011

    Helping me get out of the FOG! A must read for the emotional abused.

    The book discusses the "FOG" - Fear Obligation and Guilt. I'm taking time to get my life in order after a fall out with my remaining parent and this book was recommended to me.

    It's my opinion that manipulation using the techniques of the emotional black mailer is one of the most common forms of emotional abuse.

    The book will certainly assure you that you are not alone. If you feel like you've been in the FOG or even may be in it, then I highly recommend buying this book. Tempting to give to the emotional black mailer when you're done with it, but it's not something I will do or I would advise.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 7, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Will Help Anyone Willing to Be Helped

    the book is not a book i would have picked but it was a book i was asked to read. i read it lightly, then i read a line that sounded like my life, like my world. it doesn't matter if you start to read it lightly just start to read it!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 18, 2003

    A must read

    This book should be read my all who lives with guilt, from things they had no controll over, even for the ones that seem to control. This book plus others, Lucky, The Lost Boy, Secrets in the Night, are very helpful. Keep up the good work.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 29, 2014

    This is my family in a nutshell even my biological has even gon

    This is my family in a nutshell even my biological has even gone too far as to petition the Florida court to have me put into a '' forced guardianship '' yup you heard right a '' forced guardianship '' and no I am not disabled and I'm not a mentally retarded woman as some have falsely accused me of being that, slamming a young woman in her 40's into a forced guardianship along with humiliating her by dumping her in a place for the elderly is more then humiliating enough. and this has been going on since 2011 I am so emotionally broken from within that no one can possibly really understand what I'm going through because they cannot walk in my shoes just like I cannot walk in theirs. but I will let you all in on a secret concerning how to get through the nightmares that each of us may experience but God forbid that but here it is, never allow anyone to tell you who you are, meaning never allow anyone to shape your life to what they think it ought to be because that is only for us that individual to decide, not the courts or anyone other than us ourselves because as I said our lives were given to us and not to others. and don't let anyone try to break your spirit because '' we are who we choose to be''. and last but certainly not least, never stop believing in yourself nor in your abilities. and do I believe that I will be free from '' forced guardianship? Yes I do. so with all that said just know that you all are loved. I love you and I believe in you.

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  • Posted December 14, 2012

    Wow! When I first saw this book (which seemed to glimmer or BEAM

    Wow! When I first saw this book (which seemed to glimmer or BEAM with a glowing light off of the shelf at me) I read the front cover and 2 pages inside the book and knew right away that this book was coming home with me.
    Through so much damaging emotional torment from cultural crap and tradition, the writings of this fantastic woman has helped me recognize various ways in which the "toxic trio" can and often is used.

    5 Stars ALL The WAY for this book and Dr. Susan Forward & Fonna Frazier's work!  

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  • Posted September 14, 2012

    Highly Recommended

    This is one of those books that you read it once and you keep coming back for more, and each time it makes you a stronger person. I have shared this book with many family members and close personal friends (some who are themselves “Emotional Blackmailers”); and I can honestly say that it has changed how we relate to one another. Whether you acknowledge it or not. Everyone has been a victim of “Emotional Blackmail” It come at you in all shapes and sizes and labels, Friends, Family and strangers. This book takes you on a journey of self discovery. That brings you face to face with your most dormant fears and with the people “you’ve unknownly empower” to use them against you. If you feel that you have lost control of your life read this book and get it back!. Thank you Susan, for writing such an impressive and insightful book

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 20, 2010

    makes you think about yourself

    Good book and easy reading. When dealing with an emotional blackmailer, define your stand, state what is satisfactory for a solution, and give the other person a choice. By not giving the other person a choice, you then take on the role of the emotional blackmailer. "Be an observer of both yourself and the other person." Some people might see another side to this that you can place on any self help book, everyone is pretty much messed up. No way ;) this book defines me. In my medical training I have learned that there is no set definition for emotional or physical pain, because it is as they perceive it. We all have a different awareness of what is normal. In reflecting back on the book, one can create a sense of balance within them self when able to cut through the FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt).

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 11, 2008

    Overall Very Helpful

    I read this book during a relationship in which was over, but I was coerced into staying into. My ex used guilt, fear and manipulation to keep me in the realtionship another 4 years. I was able to use most of the information to my advantage, learned a great deal about myself and how I react to others, and began to stand up for myself and my beliefs. The book also has scenarios with sample responses that were really helpful for me.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 6, 2008

    You have got to be kidding

    I find this book leaves alot to be desired. From the authors point of view, practically everyone is a manipulator including parents who warn their children of consequences for bad behavior. To Dr. Forward a person that clearly communicates ones intentions when faced with unacceptable behavior is manipulative. This hints of 'black and white' thinking and makes me question her credibility. I was especially surprised by the assumption that some one that chooses to disengage from a confrontation with a significant other that has abandonment issues is being manipulative. I do believe that taking a 'time out' is one of the most common recommendations from any professional in a conflict. Over all there are too many contradictions for this to be taken seriously.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 29, 2005

    This book really opened my eyes

    This book really helped me see how my mother was using Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to get me to betray my friends and myself.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 6, 2004

    Emotional Blackmail is an eye-opener

    When I read the examples, I was surprised to find how many of them fit present and past experiences. A further surprise was being shown how my own actions/non-actions allowed emotional blackmail into my life. I recommend this to anyone beginning to realize that living with verbal/mental abuse is an unhealthy choice.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 27, 2008

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 17, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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