Customer Reviews for

Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story

Average Rating 3.5
( 29 )
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

Reviewed by John Jacobson aka "R.J. Jacobs" for Teens Read Too

Attacked by a vampire while out on vacation, Doug has become the latest child of the night. He was changed by a guy from school who could not control himself. He tells people he's been changed by a beautiful vampire bombshell to keep his credibility intact. Doug isn't l...
Attacked by a vampire while out on vacation, Doug has become the latest child of the night. He was changed by a guy from school who could not control himself. He tells people he's been changed by a beautiful vampire bombshell to keep his credibility intact. Doug isn't like the other vampires, though. He's not dark and brooding. He's a nerd. Pale and freckled and overweight, most people think he just has a bad skin condition. When he's not going to conventions dressed as a Klingon or another nerdy character, Doug is trying to woo girls. He still needs to eat, and drinking the blood of a girl is practically having sex with her. Young vampires also need tutors so they can get used to their powers and responsibilities. They are an endangered species, after all, and they need to know how to do things. Despite this, Doug still acts like he did as a human. He goes to comic book conventions with his pals, and he tries to fit in and get a girlfriend. Senjal, an exchange student from India who has the cyber addiction known as `The Google,' doesn't believe in vampires. Doug believes, however, that Senjal will fall for him, even though he isn't exactly smooth. While Doug is cruising and schmoozing and trying to discover what he can do, a defunct television vampire hunter gets wind of some of his mistakes, and he soon begins to track Doug down. How will things turn out with Senjal, and will Doug get staked before he can get a solid girlfriend? This book has a lot going for it. The plot is funny, and for people that are tired of the same vampire novels, it can provide a fun escape. Rex knows how to write funny one-liners and references a lot of cool things, so readers of all ages will get a few chuckles out of him. He also has something to say beyond the funny, and that's a biting satire of the current sparkly savior vampire trend. He's out to prove that vampires are actually jerks. Therein lies the novel's main flaw. Most of the characters are all right. Senjal was a little flat, but most of the other ones were cool. Doug, however, was a real jerk. Some people will find this hilarious and relate with Doug. Others, like this reviewer in particular, will be offended. He makes biting remarks about lots of minority groups, gay people and the like, and it's really frustrating to read that for a long period of time. He teases people about it, and he really isn't a likable person at all. However, this is Rex's point. Doug gets told off for saying insulting things about these people, which at least shows there was reason behind the writing. It doesn't change the fact that some readers will be put off by Doug's attitude. FAT VAMPIRE is an intelligent and witty novel, but the protagonist will bog a lot of readers down. It's a great read if you're looking for satire and cult humor, but you have to deal with one jerk of a protagonist.

posted by TeensReadToo on December 12, 2010

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Hilarious Start, But Falls Flat

The YA market is inundated with vampire stories, but Fat Vampire really stuck out as something completely different. And it is. For the most part. Doug is vampire and he's fat. He's not the average dark, sexy vampire, but an overweight 15 year old with glasses and few f...
The YA market is inundated with vampire stories, but Fat Vampire really stuck out as something completely different. And it is. For the most part. Doug is vampire and he's fat. He's not the average dark, sexy vampire, but an overweight 15 year old with glasses and few friends. The other kids at school even call him Meatball. The premise sounds hilarious and fun, which it is, for a while. I've seen mixed reviews of the book and I get why. It was good, but not quite as good as I'd hoped.

The good stuff:
It opens with vampire Doug and his best friend Jay in San Diego to check out Comic-con. Vampires. Comic-con. What more could I ask for? Adam Rex kicks the comedy into high gear for the first third of the book. Doug's vampire troubles, including the inability to attract girls even with his vampireness, are more than amusing. When most people think of vampires, they think sexy and powerful. Doug is neither and that's what makes this story great. Rex's writing is witty and had me cracking up laughing.

The not so good:
Doug is a teenager, so he's bound to be attracted to girls, but I could not see the allure of Sejal, the foreign exchange student from India. She's nice to him and most girls aren't, so I get that, but her character was just so flat and dull. She even borders on annoying with her whiny 'I have the Google' and her boohooing about Doug liking her. BTW, the Google is a disease/disorder of using the internet and technology so much that your real life pretty much disappears.

This love story aspect was boring and carried on for so long. Nothing seems to happen during the entire middle of the book. Doug likes Sejal, Sejal doesn't really like Doug, Jay finds some new friends, Doug starts learning more about vampires, but nothing really happens. The comedy all but disappears and we're left with Doug being quiet and broody (not in any sort of sexy way).

Fat Vampire fell into that slump right in the middle. It starts off really strong and funny, then drops into a lull that seems neverending, only to come back to life towards the end. I liked this book, but it wasn't as good as I had hoped and expected from the first few chapters. It's still worth the read though.

Opening line: Doug came to, lying on his back in what felt and smelled like a field. ~ pg. 1

Favorite line(s): "He thinks he's a vampire maybe." "I've taken blood from a stormtrooper and a Superman and at least three cartoon characters today," said Kendra. "He can think he's whatever he want, long as he TURNS HIS ASSFERATU AROUND AND PUTS BACK THAT BLOOD." ~ pg. 37

posted by Nikkayme on September 30, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 12, 2012

    Stupid

    Along with ur book cold cereal STUPID!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 13, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted August 13, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

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