Customer Reviews for

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Average Rating 4
( 975 )
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(562)

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(211)

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(104)

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(46)

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(52)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

63 out of 64 people found this review helpful.

This book WILL change your Marriage ~ Period

7 Months ago (May 2009) and after almost 17 years of marriage, my wife and I were ready to call it quits. The love for each other was gone and for all intents and purposes, we were little more than glorified roommates, and not even good ones at that. Although we were ...
7 Months ago (May 2009) and after almost 17 years of marriage, my wife and I were ready to call it quits. The love for each other was gone and for all intents and purposes, we were little more than glorified roommates, and not even good ones at that. Although we were not officially divorced by the courts, emotionally, spiritually and physically we WERE divorced ~ bankrupted in our relationship. During the summer as we struggled with how, or even IF we wanted to continue being married, a dear family member gave me this book and asked me to read it. I told my wife what I was learning and it piqued her interest. She began to see some real changes in how I treated her (Her love languages are Acts of Service and Gifts). As I read through this book, and discovered my love language(s) (and hers as well), it became apparent to me that this author had stumbled across something that I believe could and does STOP divorce in its tracks if people would read this book and apply its principles to heart for themselves and for their partners. If my wife and I can take a dead marriage and turn it into the best we have ever had using these principles anyone can. Will it stop infidelity or abusive behavior of a spouse? The answer to those particular situations have to be dealt with at a personal and spiritual level and although this book does not specifically deal with those issues, it does offer tremendous guidance in learning to love your spouse the way he/she feels love. God can and WILL save your marriage and this book can help you understand what a true loving partnership is about and why we need each other interdependently in this life and in our marriage. My wife has since commented after finishing this book that it should be required reading for anyone contemplating getting married. It truly is THAT powerful. I know many today are hurting and struggling in their marriages and having gone through that fire, my heart truly breaks for others in similar situations. It is tough thing to separate your life from someone you once loved. I can only say for myself having learned and put Gary's suggestions into practice, that I have seen a difference in how my wife and I now love each other. There is hope. READ this book and give it to your partner! Test the principles that Gary Chapman provides and see if you don't see a change in how your partner responds (lovingly) to you and begin to have the best marriage of your life. Best hopes for the readers in discovering your partners Love Language and a new found love for each other.

posted by Pegasuss on January 2, 2010

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Not much help

As it is often with books of this type, as you read it, its almost as the light bulb goes on. "yeah, that makes sense!" You knew it all along, you just didn't have a name for it or a way to categorize it. Well, that's where the positives end. After giving you that light...
As it is often with books of this type, as you read it, its almost as the light bulb goes on. "yeah, that makes sense!" You knew it all along, you just didn't have a name for it or a way to categorize it. Well, that's where the positives end. After giving you that light bulb experience, it just leaves you hanging. Giving you only the obvious resolutions (obvious because it's been categorized) but little more. REalistically, I want to see a bit more from this.

Maybe if you order one of the other books in the series specific to your situation (like for military spouses) it would be more helpful.

posted by 4733183 on August 27, 2013

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  • Posted February 20, 2010

    Pre-Marital Requirement

    This book Should be read by all couples considering Marriage and read together. Some of us have some askew expectations when it comes to relationships. This book really opened my eyes to Love, Mutual Respect, and Communication. I learned Unforgettable Life Lessons.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 12, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    This changed my life and my understanding of my marriage

    While I was at first put off to find this book in the religious section of the store as opposed to the relationship section, I am so glad that I purchased the book. It is profound! It has only the slightest bit of christian content, being written by someone who does many church marriage improvement workshops and discussing some of those within the book.

    The five languages of love helped me to understand why my expressions of love to my wife were falling on deaf ears, as they were not her languages of love. It also explained why I had hurt her so badly by not telling her of my love in the ways that she needed to hear that I loved her. It was not that each of us didn't love the other, it was that we were expressing our love for each other every week and most days in ways that the other partner could not understand.

    This book is a must for anyone with a marriage problem, as a gift for someone entering into marriage or a gift for a child or friend who is entering into serious relationships.

    Buy it, read it, have your spouse read it, take the test at the end and then talk about it with your spouse. It will change your life and your marriage!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 15, 2009

    Should be mandatory reading!

    I have been married for 28 glorious years...most of them, anyway! I wish this book had been available all those years ago. It should be mandatory for all couples that are thinking about marriage to read this book...it is that essential. It is a 'How To' guide for everyone and anyone in a relationship to maximize the ultimate in love, communication, happiness, and the very basic needs inherent in all of us. For that matter, it will open your eyes to the needs of your children. Fabulous book, I recommend it to absolutely everyone!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 7, 2009

    Commom Sense approach to maintaining a healthy relationship

    Chapman gives examples and useful tools to the five languages of love. Includes a questionaire to help the reader determine his/her needs in regard to feeling loved and appreciated. This book is helpful for couples to understand what it takes to maintain a healthy, loving relationship. Recommend reading this before marriage.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 22, 2007

    DUH!!!

    After spending the last few years feeling like we were stuck in an unloving relationship, my wife read the book, and then suggested it to me. After reading the book, and discussing it with her, we found out that we'd been using the wrong language on each other for years. Not that we didn't love each other, just that we weren't on the right page with each other. We now know what fills each other's tanks, and we're much happier.... all in the space of a few days. We wasted a lot of time not knowing how to reach each other in the correct way. Now, we know, are working at it, and will continue to do so. It's easy once you get the right help. Read the book, it's a marriage saver!!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 14, 2004

    A true gift

    Around christmas things started to go downhill between my husband and I. We didn't argue but we began to feel like we had nothing in common and that we really just didn't know each other anymore. The friendship was there, but the love was gone. A Co-worker then offered this book to me. My daughter and I had moved out of the house for two months and during that time, I read. When I was finished, I was so amazed with what I learned that I asked my husband to read the book as well. He did and I am now in the process of moving back home to be with my husband. We are more in love now than I believe we were the day we married. This book and the lessons it has taught us has truely been the tool that we needed to save our marriage. This book has also helped us to learn our daughters primary love language and our relationship with her has benefited a great deal as well.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2004

    And I thought it couldn't get any better....

    This book has made my very good marriage of 20 years even better, stronger, and is a book that both my husband and I will re-read every once in a while. I suggest you both read it, and try to figure out each other's primary language. It's fun, gets you communicating, and just helps build a healthier relationship.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 21, 2014

    Couldn't be more helpful.

    So great to read. This would help any person in any relationship. Reading this book has lead me to read many others of his. He writes in a non judgemental way. As a woman, I also felt he wrote from facts. There was no gender biased point of views.

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  • Posted February 7, 2014

    Read Before It's Too Late

    This is an excellent book for all couples to read, especially for those whose marriages are starting to waver a bit or feel stale. Dr. Chapman presents his data in understandable language with real-world experiences. This is not a psychobabble-filled piece of rot like many other "self-help" books out there. He does not promise the moon, but he does give sound counsel to help maintain a relationship, through effort, for those willing to put in the work. I do not recommend this book for couples who are already considering divorce, though, as it is not intended to fix something that you have decided is broken. Rather, it is highly recommended for any couple who feels that their relationship may be lacking something but they are not sure what that something might be.

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  • Posted January 31, 2014

    THIS BOOK WILL LEAD YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!

    This book does any amazing job of explaining the different types of people and how they express and feel love. It gave me a completely different outlook on relationships and why people do what they do. The 30 question quiz at the end of the book helps you determine both you and your significant other's love language which feels almost like cheating!! Once you can pinpoint each other's love language, the work becomes so much easier!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

    Gave me hope

    This book opened up my eyes to why a lot of past relationships did not work. Love has always felt like a game but I couldn't figure out how to win or even hold on. I feel like someone finally gave me the rule book after reading this!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 17, 2013

    Great!

    I wish I had read this 5 years ago. Maybe I would not be facing a divorce. WhstvI read will stay with me though. If you are having problems please read this and put it into practice.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 6, 2013

    Complete "Ah ha!" moment

    I realized physical touch is as important as quality time for me. Wonderful information applicable too all relationships not just marriage.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 4, 2013

    Helpful but scewed

    Too religion/faith-based for me, otherwise good information. If you are not married, look for the version for singles. I much preferred "His Needs, Her Needs."

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 2, 2013

    I am an ox

    Hello ox

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 11, 2013

    It was a great read. Everyone should read it.

    It was recommended to me from a close friend. I really enjoyed what I read, it made me think more deeply of what type of person I am. My husband frowned at me for reading it, but he read it and loved it. I highly recommended this book to everyone who is in a relationship and also if you have kids.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 10, 2013

    Great book

    Highly recommend

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 6, 2013

    Same story as in military book situation changed slightly

    Makes you question the reality of the interviews

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 8, 2013

    Excellent book

    This book is great! It makes a lot of sense to see how others view and receive love.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 6, 2013

    Great! I learned a lot!

    This book is written simply. It is very easy to follow the principles Dr. Chapman discusses and it is SO WORTH TRYING THEM! My husband and I have a wonderful marriage, we both naturally speak all five languages, but we didn't know it. This book was extremely eye opening in teaching us what each language is and how to recognize them. My marriage has only gotten better! I love being able to do things for my husband that he recognizes as love. This is a must read for newlyweds and couples that have been around the block once or twice.

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