Customer Reviews for

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Average Rating 4
( 975 )
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(562)

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(211)

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(104)

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(46)

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(52)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

64 out of 65 people found this review helpful.

This book WILL change your Marriage ~ Period

7 Months ago (May 2009) and after almost 17 years of marriage, my wife and I were ready to call it quits. The love for each other was gone and for all intents and purposes, we were little more than glorified roommates, and not even good ones at that. Although we were ...
7 Months ago (May 2009) and after almost 17 years of marriage, my wife and I were ready to call it quits. The love for each other was gone and for all intents and purposes, we were little more than glorified roommates, and not even good ones at that. Although we were not officially divorced by the courts, emotionally, spiritually and physically we WERE divorced ~ bankrupted in our relationship. During the summer as we struggled with how, or even IF we wanted to continue being married, a dear family member gave me this book and asked me to read it. I told my wife what I was learning and it piqued her interest. She began to see some real changes in how I treated her (Her love languages are Acts of Service and Gifts). As I read through this book, and discovered my love language(s) (and hers as well), it became apparent to me that this author had stumbled across something that I believe could and does STOP divorce in its tracks if people would read this book and apply its principles to heart for themselves and for their partners. If my wife and I can take a dead marriage and turn it into the best we have ever had using these principles anyone can. Will it stop infidelity or abusive behavior of a spouse? The answer to those particular situations have to be dealt with at a personal and spiritual level and although this book does not specifically deal with those issues, it does offer tremendous guidance in learning to love your spouse the way he/she feels love. God can and WILL save your marriage and this book can help you understand what a true loving partnership is about and why we need each other interdependently in this life and in our marriage. My wife has since commented after finishing this book that it should be required reading for anyone contemplating getting married. It truly is THAT powerful. I know many today are hurting and struggling in their marriages and having gone through that fire, my heart truly breaks for others in similar situations. It is tough thing to separate your life from someone you once loved. I can only say for myself having learned and put Gary's suggestions into practice, that I have seen a difference in how my wife and I now love each other. There is hope. READ this book and give it to your partner! Test the principles that Gary Chapman provides and see if you don't see a change in how your partner responds (lovingly) to you and begin to have the best marriage of your life. Best hopes for the readers in discovering your partners Love Language and a new found love for each other.

posted by Pegasuss on January 2, 2010

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Great Help

This book was recommended after the breakup of a relationship that lasted over 4 years. It helped me to understand why we drifted apart and I feel optimistic about being more sensitive, not only to a future partner's emotional need, but it has enhanced my relationship ...
This book was recommended after the breakup of a relationship that lasted over 4 years. It helped me to understand why we drifted apart and I feel optimistic about being more sensitive, not only to a future partner's emotional need, but it has enhanced my relationship with others. A great book for anyone who wants to be a better partner.

posted by BeeHappy365 on April 26, 2013

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 27, 2013

    Not much help

    As it is often with books of this type, as you read it, its almost as the light bulb goes on. "yeah, that makes sense!" You knew it all along, you just didn't have a name for it or a way to categorize it. Well, that's where the positives end. After giving you that light bulb experience, it just leaves you hanging. Giving you only the obvious resolutions (obvious because it's been categorized) but little more. REalistically, I want to see a bit more from this.

    Maybe if you order one of the other books in the series specific to your situation (like for military spouses) it would be more helpful.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 26, 2013

    Great Help

    This book was recommended after the breakup of a relationship that lasted over 4 years. It helped me to understand why we drifted apart and I feel optimistic about being more sensitive, not only to a future partner's emotional need, but it has enhanced my relationship with others. A great book for anyone who wants to be a better partner.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 4, 2013

    Helpful but scewed

    Too religion/faith-based for me, otherwise good information. If you are not married, look for the version for singles. I much preferred "His Needs, Her Needs."

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 31, 2013

    This sucks. Im better at talking to chicks by myself XD

    Idiots

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 15, 2012

    Why dont i have the whole book?

    Mine cuts off on pAge 132, but it talks about looking on page 160 something. What going on? How do i fix it.?

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 22, 2009

    Good, but a little too basic

    My husband and I found that this book was useful in starting a dialog between us. However, we both felt that we struggled to determine our own love languages. We are just not that simple. I think some people may find themselves to be more complicated and unable to pick just one love language for themself.

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  • Posted December 28, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    The Five Love Languages

    In THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, Gary Chapman explores what he believes is the cause of all marital dysfunction and breakdown: the different languages in which love can be expressed. According to Chapman, we each respond to one of the five ¿love languages¿¿affirmation, time, gifts, service, and touch¿and will only feel sufficiently loved when we¿re being spoken to by our mates in that language.<BR/><BR/>The breakdown of the five love languages was fascinating, but Chapman¿s ¿love is a choice¿ philosophy is so bogus, it¿s not even funny. It¿s that kind of bass-ackwards thinking that lead many people into unhealthy relationships in the first place, and he wants to keep them there? Please.<BR/><BR/>According to Chapman, ¿real love¿ is a benign act we engage in willingly¿like picking up cereal or refilling the gas tank on the way home from work¿while being ¿in love¿ is a fabricated emotion built on obsession.<BR/><BR/>¿¿falling in love is not real love,¿ writes Chapman, ¿because it is effortless. Whatever we do in the in-love state requires little discipline or conscious effort on our part.¿<BR/><BR/>The points Chapman makes are valid, but he approaches them with the kind of anti-divorce tunnel vision that is far too common in these kinds of books. You can no more choose to love someone than you can choose to be a blond-haired, blue-eyed mermaid who lives in an oversized clam shell off the coast of Maine. Oh, sure, you can bleach your hair, pop in a pair of contact lenses, and pretend you¿re a mermaid who lives in a clam shell off the coast of Maine, but that doesn¿t make it real.<BR/><BR/>And that¿s exactly the point I¿m getting at. Chapman derides the ¿in love¿ feeling as being synthetic emotion, and yet, when push comes to shove, insists that when it comes to ¿real love¿, choosing to fake it is the way to go. Um. I don¿t have any fancy-schmancy degrees to back me up, but if you ask me, a forced act of love is about as genuine and meaningful as an effortless act of obsession. It¿s the wavering between the two extremes that leaves this book cold and sterile. I imagine the real ¿real love¿ is a happy medium between those two extremes¿neither self-destrucive nor impotent.<BR/><BR/>All in all, I¿d say the author gets it about half right, as much as his own personal values will let him. I would¿ve been more pleased if the focus had been on choices made and physical actions done out of love than a crash course on how to fake it ¿til you make it. There are a multitude of reasons why two partners fail to make a real and lasting connection with each other, and not every divorce is a failure. Sometimes that¿ the only way for the family unit to survive without being severely damaged. Asserting that we should all assign blame where there should be none is nothing but a recipe for resentment.<BR/><BR/>Rating: C-

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 21, 2006

    somewhat helpful

    This book is oversimplified- I do not believe that most people fit neatly into one of five categories, as Chapman seems to indicate. At best, this book teaches that you can show your affection in many ways. For example, a partner who has always been a gift-giver may find new ways of showing their love. Why not use all five of the languages he describes? The best thing about The Five Love Languages is that Chapman writes with sensitivity and avoids cracking jokes about his subject.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 17, 2004

    It was ok....

    The book had some good points. But it was a very slow read for me. I got the book for Christmas from my family and I am still trying to finish it....and it is April!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 17, 2002

    Wonderful

    I haven't finished reading this book yet, but the second i picked it up i was encapsulated in the book. In just the few chapters i have read i have learned quite a bit.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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