Customer Reviews for

For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men

Average Rating 4
( 141 )
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

13 out of 15 people found this review helpful.

Great book to help me understand my husband more!

Okay. I've already read the Mars & Venus Books and other books that are supposed to give women insight into men. I also have a husband who has been more frankly honest with me about men's struggles then most men are. But this book still opened my eyes in ways that are j...
Okay. I've already read the Mars & Venus Books and other books that are supposed to give women insight into men. I also have a husband who has been more frankly honest with me about men's struggles then most men are. But this book still opened my eyes in ways that are just oh-so-special. But I want to warn you... don't read this book unless you truly love your husband and want to be the wife that he needs.

See... this isn't a "how to get what you want" book, or even a "this is what you're doing wrong" book. Instead, it is a "your husband DOES love you, he is simply different from you" book! It's not full of to-do's but rather full of explanations... it explains WHY some of the things we say make our husbands smile and grin like they've been given the world, and WHY other things result in an angry back rapidly moving away.

This book goes over the familiar territory of explaining how men need respect... but it goes one step farther and showed me why my husband thinks I don't respect him... something that's confused me for years!

It talks about what we all know about how men usually want more sex, but it goes so much farther and shows why in a way that touches your heart and makes you feel so loved and special.

It shows how men really ARE romantics... and if you don't think so, I dare you to read the chapter and not change your mind! Their romance is just different then ours, that's all! And when your eyes are opened to how often your husband wants to do romantic (to him) things with you, you'll be so touched... and grieved at how often you've unknowingly shoved him away at those times. But you'll also begin to see what you can do to encourage him to work on the romance that YOU like!

And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Keep in mind that this book is not a guide-book... it is an EXPLANATION book. It doesn't really get too much into right and wrong behaviors or what is sin and what isn't, etc... most of us already know that, and don't need to be told again. What it DOES do is explain where men are coming from. For example... we know and they know that lust is a sin... but fighting it as a man is COMPLETELY different then fighting it as a woman! When you undersand how it is for a man, you understand how even his desire to fight it shows strong character AND love for you!

One reviewer said that the author was excusing pride, and things like that. But that's now how I saw this book. Okay women... we know that to be like Jesus is to be a servant... but does that mean that it doesn't hurt when we feel like we're nothing more than everyone's slave around the house? Of course it doesn't! We are still "wired" in such a way that it is easy for us to feel this way. This book explains these sorts of things about men... how THEY are "wired". And once you understand this and begin to recognize these explanations in your own husband, then you can help and support him sooooo much better! Because then you see how little innocent comments hurt him... comments that are so easily refrained from, or re-worded. You see how little things you did when you were dating (and have since forgotten about) meant so much to him. You'll learn how to get that "you make me feel like a million bucks" grin on his face!

READ THIS BOOK!

posted by mom2girlsnboy on April 18, 2011

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Most Helpful Critical Review

16 out of 24 people found this review helpful.

Avoid like the Plague!

I read this book after my husband and I nearly divorced because of his use of Pornography. When he gave me this book to read to help 'understand' him better I was thrilled until I read the chapter about Visual Rolodex. The author seems to be enabling these men by 'no...
I read this book after my husband and I nearly divorced because of his use of Pornography. When he gave me this book to read to help 'understand' him better I was thrilled until I read the chapter about Visual Rolodex. The author seems to be enabling these men by 'normalizing' sexualizing every attractive woman they see. It made me sad that the author thinks all men are this weak and that God made them this way. I wouldn't blame deviant behavior on God. Very sad very disappointing book.

posted by Anonymous on April 15, 2005

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 15, 2005

    Avoid like the Plague!

    I read this book after my husband and I nearly divorced because of his use of Pornography. When he gave me this book to read to help 'understand' him better I was thrilled until I read the chapter about Visual Rolodex. The author seems to be enabling these men by 'normalizing' sexualizing every attractive woman they see. It made me sad that the author thinks all men are this weak and that God made them this way. I wouldn't blame deviant behavior on God. Very sad very disappointing book.

    16 out of 24 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 26, 2007

    Garbage and Lies on Men's 'Visual Control'

    I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 22. He told me that he HAS A CHOICE on whether or not he is going to allow his eyes to look at a woman in the way this book says ALL MEN JUST CAN'T HELP and he also has a choice in what thoughts he is thinking about others. My boyfriend views looking at other women as being unfaithful to me and I agree with him. Men have a choice. This book just gives men an EXCUSE for not choosing to CONTROL something that is difficult to control, but not impossible. It is NOT normal for a man to lust at EVERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN HE SEES! That is what is 'normal' to this WORLD but should not be 'normal' for a Christian man trying to be faithful to one woman.

    14 out of 22 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 18, 2011

    Great book to help me understand my husband more!

    Okay. I've already read the Mars & Venus Books and other books that are supposed to give women insight into men. I also have a husband who has been more frankly honest with me about men's struggles then most men are. But this book still opened my eyes in ways that are just oh-so-special. But I want to warn you... don't read this book unless you truly love your husband and want to be the wife that he needs.

    See... this isn't a "how to get what you want" book, or even a "this is what you're doing wrong" book. Instead, it is a "your husband DOES love you, he is simply different from you" book! It's not full of to-do's but rather full of explanations... it explains WHY some of the things we say make our husbands smile and grin like they've been given the world, and WHY other things result in an angry back rapidly moving away.

    This book goes over the familiar territory of explaining how men need respect... but it goes one step farther and showed me why my husband thinks I don't respect him... something that's confused me for years!

    It talks about what we all know about how men usually want more sex, but it goes so much farther and shows why in a way that touches your heart and makes you feel so loved and special.

    It shows how men really ARE romantics... and if you don't think so, I dare you to read the chapter and not change your mind! Their romance is just different then ours, that's all! And when your eyes are opened to how often your husband wants to do romantic (to him) things with you, you'll be so touched... and grieved at how often you've unknowingly shoved him away at those times. But you'll also begin to see what you can do to encourage him to work on the romance that YOU like!

    And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

    Keep in mind that this book is not a guide-book... it is an EXPLANATION book. It doesn't really get too much into right and wrong behaviors or what is sin and what isn't, etc... most of us already know that, and don't need to be told again. What it DOES do is explain where men are coming from. For example... we know and they know that lust is a sin... but fighting it as a man is COMPLETELY different then fighting it as a woman! When you undersand how it is for a man, you understand how even his desire to fight it shows strong character AND love for you!

    One reviewer said that the author was excusing pride, and things like that. But that's now how I saw this book. Okay women... we know that to be like Jesus is to be a servant... but does that mean that it doesn't hurt when we feel like we're nothing more than everyone's slave around the house? Of course it doesn't! We are still "wired" in such a way that it is easy for us to feel this way. This book explains these sorts of things about men... how THEY are "wired". And once you understand this and begin to recognize these explanations in your own husband, then you can help and support him sooooo much better! Because then you see how little innocent comments hurt him... comments that are so easily refrained from, or re-worded. You see how little things you did when you were dating (and have since forgotten about) meant so much to him. You'll learn how to get that "you make me feel like a million bucks" grin on his face!

    READ THIS BOOK!

    13 out of 15 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 22, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Do NOT Look To This Book for Help with Troubled Relationships!

    This book gives horrible, blaming the victim type advice to women. If something is amiss in the relationship, the author instructs the reader (presumably female) to just "be more accepting" of his nature. With regard to sex, she expains that it deepens men's emotions so women should give it to their men as often as possible. The only problem with her advice is that she claims that sex doesn't deepen the emotional connection between the man and the woman -- it only serves to make men feel more confident in themselves. And, with regard to men being visual creatures, the author claims that men have a "visual rolodex" and unwanted pornographic images just pop into their heads at any time without warning. Yes, Ladies, your man is mentally undressing the woman next to him in the check out line at the grocery store. Her advice is that women should just accept this about men and love it about them. Frankly, this sickens me as a man would be crushed to know if his wife were also doing this.

    The author writes with a very boys will boys attitude; everything that men do that offends women and ruins their self-confidence is okay because men "can't help it". The tone of this book makes women feel very badly about themselves because the author asserts that a "good women" would want to change for their mates so women should change themselves to be more "ideal" for their men.

    Simply put, this book perpetuates the male as king of the house, woman as subservient possession stereotype and the double standard of acceptable behaviors for men. The author only makes the reader feel like an unjustified, frigid, spoiled brat if she doesn't give her man the things prescribed in this book. I walked away from this book feeling disgusted with my man for having these innate tendencies and feeling betrayed by the author. She, as a woman, should have realized that her words would be more hurtful than helpful to those of us in troubled relationships. If you're looking for some intelligent, enlighting advice to help you through a tough time in your relationshion -- then this book is NOT for you.

    This book lacks respect for women and the equality that they deserve in their marriages.

    8 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 13, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    A Must Read for Women!

    This is an easy read and is very informative and helpful, I only wish I had been able to read this before my husband died. I'm giving this and its companion book, "For Men Only" as wedding gifts. I'm requesting the couple read both books!

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 14, 2007

    'Just the way they are!' Don't accept that!!!!

    I will not recommend this book to anyone!!!This books describes what men are like today...not what they are called to be. This books says, 'This is how men are wired' without taking into consideration the huge short-circuit..the fall in the garden of Eden. Let's look to what men (and women) are called to be...not where they have ended up!!! God has more for us. Let's not accept societies ills as 'normal'!!! The only part I found helpful was the reminder of being affirming.

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 23, 2005

    Yuck!

    I can't possibly understand how knowing that my husband is attracted to every nice body he encounters would benefit our marriage?!? I will never look at my father, my brothers or my pastor the same again either. The chapter about the importance of physical appearance was sad too as this is something so fleeting. Now I can look forward to my old age when my husband is unhappy with my appearance and my body (or boobs as she refers to them)- yahoo. Thanks Shaunti for your edification. I am disappointed in the Christian leaders who are promoting this book of clearly twisted values.

    6 out of 11 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 9, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    eye opening read

    i am a 32 yearold twice divorced man and had i read this book ten or tweleve years ago that may not be the case. after my second divorce my first wife gave me this book and told me i needed to read this. i'm not much of a reader but i did it anyway, and was i shocked. to read something that was this close to exactly what i think and how i feel blew me away. i have told every one i know about this book men and women. i havent read for men only,but i will soon. if u are in a relationship or u think u might be in one someday this book will help u to understand why we(men and women) react the way we do. this book has helped me to become a better man, i thank you Mrs.Feldhahn.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 9, 2009

    The Book That Changed My Marriage

    For Women Only was suggested to me by a friend who knew that my husband and I have struggled in our marriage for years. The author starts by saying that what she shares is so simple that we will hit ourselves at some time while reading the book. I did hit myself after reading a section that described a habit I have put my husband through for years! Women's minds will be opened to a whole new perspective of their husbands, and this book also comes in other versions for men (For Men Only), single women, and single men.
    What is sad is that after reading this book I now hear women making the same mistakes that I have made that are mentioned in the book. I want to give this book to everyone that I know. This book has helped change my marriage.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 13, 2005

    A must read! The mystery is solved!

    Practical,funny,eye-openning.It has the power to revolutionize women-men relationship especially in marriages! My husband read the book first to see if he would approve of it. His words were, ' I'm impressed; it's right on the money!' The book also brought up many great discussions. I not only understand and appreciate my husband better, but now I know how to show it in a way that is meaningful and constructive to him in our everyday lives.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 25, 2005

    More harm than good---stay away.

    I'm coming from a different situation, but I agree with the last reviewer.....God didn't create men as hopelessly weak sex-addicts, who can't be happy with their wives unless they're working on their bodies 24/7/365. Didn't think much of this one. The beginning chapters were fairly good on respect and the burden of providing. An infinitely better book for married men and women to read is Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. A much better perspective. (Doesn't sound as flashy but it's a much better book)

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 14, 2009

    Amazing!

    This book gives amazing insight into why men behave as they do without conciously realizing it. It makes you want to change yourself instead of always trying to change them. The best part is that this info is taken from survey questions that men answered anonymously. The answers were the same whether or not the men were church attenders.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 8, 2009

    Relationship help

    This book is useful for any man in a relationship with a woman. It helps to explain why women do what they do, and what we can do to help make them happier.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2009

    This book is an astoundngly clear summation of how most men tend to think differently than women, thus providing a firm foundation to help women communicate more effectively with the men in their lives.

    What is important to men is not always the same as women. The author backs this up with surveys and statistics, not just opinion. After reading this book, I saw how extremely true and relevant this difference is. The author does a tremendous job explaining how most men and women tend to think, providing a firmer foundation for the furtherance of productive communication between the sexes. This book helped me change the way I see and communicate with all the men in my life, and has truly helped me to feel more effective in both communicating my needs to them, and understanding theirs. We are all equally people, but this book helps to show how society and genetics can influence our values and goals by sex.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 18, 2006

    Please!

    The obvious problem with the attraction section is that, according to Shaunti, one huge problem in marriages is that men are disappointed by their wives' looks. Whatever happened to in sickness and in health, to death do we part. But anyway, if it's all about looks, why is there so much infidelity in Hollywood, among professional athletes, etc. who have married some of the most beautiful women in the world? Hmm. Seems there must be something more.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 3, 2006

    A Perfect 10

    I read this book with my husband, and he confirms how accurate it is. I would recommend this book to every woman out there. The bad reviews are only because some women can't handle the truth. It has impacted every area of my life with the men around me in a positive way. I have bought it for several of my friends and family. BUY IT...Best thing you'll ever do is read it and apply it's truths to life.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 19, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Wonderful Book!!!

    This book is great for any woman who wants a better understanding of how men think and how they work! The author gives you such a good insight on how to make the man in your life feel more loved and respected! This along with the partner book "For Men Only" are good choices for any couple whether or not they are having difficulties in their relationship! Relationships aren't about what you get out of it but what you give and she really gives good advice and recommendations for doing just that! I would highly recommend this book to anyone!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted September 17, 2009

    Amazing Quick Read

    This is a great get-to-the-point book. The author does a wonderful job of informing women on what men really think. It's great that it's a Christian book but her book would be appealing and useful for any woman who is about to be married or has been married for years. I read this book and my husband asked, "what's wrong with you? You're doing so many great things!" So the book clearly helped me get a better understanding in our marriage! It's a must read!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 8, 2009

    Very informative, I have recommended to friends and family.

    I have read numerous books on relationships. This is the first that showed the research behind the points made plus comments from men that help explain their thought processes (which are very different from women). Being the eternal skeptic, I read the version of the book for men (revealing insights about women) and I felt it was extremely accurate. I also asked my male friends about the book's findings and they confirmed the information in the book.

    I have recommended this book to women who are struggeling in currently realtionships, have ended relationships and wonder what went wrong, and to women who are engaged or newly married. The book does relate the information to the Bible, however it is still very informative if you are not Christian.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2009

    A must read for every marriage.

    It may tell you what you already know, but the way this material is presented is straightforward and true. It opened my eyes to areas I need to work on. It helps you to realize that all men share much in common that us women need to be aware of. We can't change them, but we can change the way we interact with them - with positive results!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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