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Posted May 10, 2013
Multnomah, through "Blogging for Books", sent me this
Multnomah, through "Blogging for Books", sent me this book for a fair review. These opinions are mine.
As a girl who has grown up in the evangelical circles of "complementarianism" "Christian feminism" and "wifely submission"
I know quite a bit already about a woman's supposed place- I don't hold to any of those three differing views exactly.
I believe that I should just follow the Word of God as best I know how instead of giving me ideas about relationships a
I received "For Women Only" in some excitement, hoping to find a half-secular, half-Christian view on relating to
guys and a peek into a guy's mind. Hailed as a premarital counseling book to understanding your future spouse,
I felt this book was full of secular psychology but also a lot of the "woman, submit!" hyper-submission philosophy
at the same time. Most of it was just common sense!
It starts off with claiming to contain "fascinating new secrets" about how men behave (see page 21),
but the next paragraph says that men haven't changed for centuries. I couldn't help but wonder, then,
how women got along with their husbands for past centuries if the fascinating new secrets about unchanging
men have just been revealed. Surely, women do have power to sway their husbands, but at the same time,
if taken to the extreme most of my more conservative friends would take it, they would believe that anything
negative they say to their husbands would be shattering his ego- something Shaunti reminds women "never to do."
A woman's words do have power, but sometimes a good kick in the ego pants is needed. I'd encourage
ladies to do a word study on what Proverbs says about words, pride, and fools.
Further, as Shaunti continues writing, it becomes obvious she is overstating some "controversial" parts of
men's minds that you see- the need for them to process doesn't take years like the examples she gives.
She has a lot of anecdotal stories, and I know that I could write a whole book of anecdotal stories about people
I've met and interesting things those people have said, but she uses so many in her book that it gets old,
and even annoying- and you have to wonder if they are really true as they keep appearing.
Finally, a lot of this was common sense. I am not married at this time, but some of the statements she made
were no-duh. I know sense isn't as common as it once was, but for a 19 year old girl to say "no duh" to half of the
pointers (when said 19 year old is not married), you'd probably be better off gleaning wisdom from Proverbs and
Ephesians than reading this book.
I know Shaunti Feldhan is really trying to help Christian women understand their husbands, boyfriends, and brothers,
but in all honesty, this book was just messy.
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