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Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are

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  • Posted January 28, 2013

    Friendfluence investigates the types of friends people have and

    Friendfluence investigates the types of friends people have and how these friends have influenced different types of behaviors.
    The novel looks at the development of friendships, male and female, over many years. From adolescence to adulthood, friends or lack
    thereof can provide significant influence. The onset of social media is examined and how this “instant contact” has altered the “face to
    face” friendships of the past. You may agree or disagree with the findings in the book, but I think you will find it is very captivating and
    filled with *aha!* moments.
    Two of the most profound ideas that she discusses is how two people destined for different things can become disastrous if they
    become friends. This is highlighted in many shows such as Wicked Attraction on the ID Channel. The other is that those the student
    who move constantly have a harder time retaining friends. I did find as a military brat that it was harder to keep friends because I was
    constantly changing schools as were those peers of mine. I could be at a school for 6 months and then have to move to another. It did
    make it harder; however I find that I developed a strength to adapt to change better than those that didn’t.
    I disagree with her statement “while friendships among people of different  races are statistically rare in the United States, having such
    a friend lowers your levels of prejudice and even those of your friends.” As a military brat I always had interracial friends so I knew my
    perception could be inaccurate. I do however have five girls ranging in age from 13 – 23 and many of their friends I have “adopted.” I
    asked them this question and was told they didn’t believe this to be true. Yet, I think this shows the evolution of friends over the years.
    One of my favorite comments from the book is: “If you are not willing to be bored sometimes, you can’t have friends.” I know we have
    all listened to a friend drone on about something we could care less about (we have done it ourselves as well…admit it). But we do it
    because the other person needs to *vent* and that’s what friends are for. We listen, we agree, we disagree, but in the end we are there
    for each other.
    Even with the disagreement I found the book interesting because it made me think about the friendships we had and how they have
    changed over time. Ms. Flora use of  surveys, studies, and interviews reinforced her points  that friends influence our lives and can push
    us to do better. We found it to be an intriguing dissection of something I wouldn’t normally have though about. From Michelle & Tammy The Nook Users Book Club

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