Have You Found Her: A Memoir

Reviewed by coollibrarianchick for TeensReadToo.com

I just finished a book, after running back to the beach because it was mistakenly left there, that I am going to pass on to everyone looking for a good book to read. HAVE YOU FOUND HER by Janice Erlbaum was a gut-wrenching, pull-at-your-heart strings, can't-put-it-down memoir. It actually reads like a novel, a suspenseful one at that, full of plot twists and turns. I finished it in two days. The little blurb I read about it in my local library's Bookpage didn't do the book justice.

Janice Erlbaum one day decided to volunteer at a homeless shelter for teens in NYC. Very noble of her, don't you think? Volunteering at this one homeless shelter was more than just an act of graciousness for her. Twenty years ago, she lived at that shelter for a time. She wanted to do something for these kids, show that you can change your situation and become successful. Janice definitely changed her life for the better. Now she is a successful author, living in a nice apartment with her husband (or domestic partner, as she calls him) and three cats.

At first, the volunteering doesn't go very well. Her nervousness shows and the kids are gravitating to her for help. Janice is just not sure if she can do it. She soon realizes she has to have a shtick if she wants their attention and find a younger version of herself to help. So one day, she brings a bag full of beads for a craft-making jewelry session. It does the trick and she is forever known as the Bead Lady.

One of the rules of the place is "Don't choose favorites." That rule goes completely out the window when Janice meets Samantha. Samantha is a brilliant junkie who has been on her own since she was twelve. She is incredibly lovable and also incredibly damaged. Samantha says a lot of things throughout the time Janice comes to know her that should be questioned. At any rate, Janice ends up falling for Sam - not a romantic love like she has for Bill, but in a deeply caring, friendship/parental way. She wants to save Sam from the streets, and this leads Janice and Sam through hospitals and halfway houses and rehabs.

The one thing Janice never suspected was how sick Sam really was.......

The book was like a roller coaster ride for me. When Sam was up, in good health, on the right track, you cheered -- but when she was down, sick, so weak that you though she would die at any second, you couldn't help but get sad and emotional. You start to wonder if you can really save another person's soul.

I just wonder where Sam is now.....

A splendid soul-searcher!

I haven't read Girlbomb but I thought this memoir was magnificent. It detailed a homeless teen's mental health travails and how the author, once sheltered herself, emerged from her own traumas and her young friend's similar, albeit deceptive, journey. A great read!

Not her best effort!

Girlbomb was wonderful but this new title from the author is a bomb! Boring and of little interest to anyone except maybe the author herself!

terrific memoir

Twenty years ago, as a young teen, Janice Erlbaum lived for a while in a homeless shelter for teens (see A HALFWAY HOMELESS MEMOIR and GIRLBOMB, not reviewed by me). Overcoming the dope and returning home now in her thirties, she felt a deep need to give back what was given to her by that New York shelter: her life. Thus she volunteered her time where she would bring her bag of beads and related paraphernalia to teach those who remind her of her fourteen years old Janice how to make jewelry. There she meets nineteen years old junkie Samantha Dunleavy, who told her she traveled the country with her meth chef dad and junkie mom, and sold her body as needed. Janice became like a big sister to the intelligent ¿junkie savant¿ and was always there when Sam needed her especially when her protégé had accidents. However over time Janice begins to realize Sam¿s saga was filled with incongruities as a twelve-years-old runaway from a drug traveling show should not be a trained classical pianist. Janice finally makes some inquiries into her beloved ¿ward¿ learning a shocking past. --- This is a terrific memoir that focuses deep on a savior being saved from her obsession by an apparent schemer. Ms. Erlbaum provides a combination cautionary saga with a bit of real life sleuthing, but in many ways Samantha and the ¿Redhead¿ at the beginning of Ms. Erlbaum¿s adventure steal the show. Although well written and gut wrenching, the overarching issue of what society should do with runaway teens and tweens is never deeply explored still Ms. Erlbaum makes a strong case that volunteering is good for the soul, but walk cautiously before you give away your heart as the author confesses when she was the runaway lying was her norm while an alternate title considered for HAVE YOU FOUND HER? sums that up: ¿Sucker: A Love Story¿. --- Harriet Klausner

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