Customer Reviews for

Hikikomori and the Rental Sister

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 13, 2013

    One star is being generous. Yawn.

    One star is being generous. Yawn.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 31, 2013



    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 1, 2013

    A poignant tale of loss, depression, dedication, faith, healing

    A poignant tale of loss, depression, dedication, faith, healing and love. 

    The Japanese term "Hikikomori" means acute social withdrawal. It refers to the phenomenon of reclusive adolescents or young adults who withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement. (source: Wikipedia)

    In Japan, this is a common enough phenomenon, but in other countries, it has yet to be identified and addressed. Since I have a fascination with the Japanese culture, I requested to read and review this book. Thankfully, I was approved.

    In Jeff Backhaus' Hikikomori and the Rental Sister, we meet Thomas, an American hikikomori who has lived in isolation in his room for three years. Even his wife, Silke, couldn't get him to come out, so she engaged the help of Megumi, a Japanese immigrant who once had a brother who was also a hikikomori.

    First off, I love how Thomas' mind worked. His different level of thinking was poetically depicted in the novel and I really liked it. There was also contrast as to Thomas' trail of thoughts at the beginning of the book and at the end, which really showed just how much change he went through.

    The thing is, different people have different ways of coping with grief. It just so happened that Thomas dealt with his grief through isolation. Or perhaps, in creating his own world outside the norms of society. And this was thoroughly depicted in this novel, which I found really unique.

    As for the relationship between Megumi and Thomas, while I disapprove of the intimate relationship they share (cheating is cheating no matter how much you justify it), I understand why it happened. It was like they were two broken people who found solace in each other. They didn't need to be fixed, they needed to be understood and cared for. 

    Another interesting comparison I found was between Megumi and Thomas. Yes, I found that they were two broken people with lots of issues, but while Thomas stayed isolated, Megumi remained active in society. The novel showed the contrasting coping mechanisms they used to deal with their problems. Thomas escaped by isolation, Megumi escaped entirely to a new country.

    I also appreciate Silke, Thomas' wife, for her dedication and patience, even when Thomas hardly ever responded to her. She loved him deeply and stuck it out for him even in the worst of circumstances, that's why I felt vindicated by the end of the story.

    For me, the most beautiful part of the story would be the end. It wasn't as grand as most happy endings were, but it was bittersweet. It made me feel like looking back at everything that happened, I would just smile despite the tragedy and loss.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 22, 2013

    I really enjoyed this book. I knew before reading it that this

    I really enjoyed this book. I knew before reading it that this was a first time effort by the writer but I honestly couldn't tell while reading the book. I was most impressed by the way the writer describes the horrible event that lead to the protagonist (Thomas) retreating from the world through flashbacks. You get a real sense of his pain and you then later see how that same painful feeling of loss is shared with Megumi, Thomas' 'rental sister'. There is real talent here and I'm looking forward to more books from the author.

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  • Posted January 30, 2013

    Hikikomori and the Rental Sister Jeff Backhaus ISBN: 978-1-61620

    Hikikomori and the Rental Sister
    Jeff Backhaus
    ISBN: 978-1-61620-137-1
    4 Stars
    hikikomori, n hikika’mouri; literally pulling inward; refers to those who withdraw from society.---Taken from the back of the book.
    Thomas, an American, has withdrawn from life. He will not leave his room and barely speaks to his wife who stays by his side and still fights for what once was. Megumi, a Japanese immigrant, has run to America to forget her traumatic past and finds herself hired by Thomas’ wife to be his rental sister. Thomas and Megumi slowly form a bond in his room that proves to them that they have lives to live; lives they may have damaged.
    I will admit that if I would have written this review last night when I finished reading I would have given it less stars. The thought of throwing the book crossed my mind near the end because it made me so angry. I knew that, so I slept on it and can be less emotional about it now. The fact that I was angry really is a good thing (the author did something right) and I can recognize that.
    I will also admit that I did not like either Thomas or Megumi, both of which are the protagonists. That also isn’t a bad thing. They were both vivid and relatable, so this was not the author’s failure. There was something unlikable about them for me. Maybe it was the fact that I could predict where the story was going, which by the way, is my one complaint about this story. The novel is surprisingly calm and flows so smoothly that it was surprising that it elicited such strong emotions from me. My poor husband had to hear all about it.
    A huge positive side effect of this one is the fact that I learned something new. Immediately I was looking up Hikikomori and rental sisters. I find the whole thing fascinating and am looking for more books on the subject. This is another novel I will recommend.

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  • Posted January 28, 2013

    more from this reviewer

    Retreating in grief and hiding to lick your wounds is not an unc

    Retreating in grief and hiding to lick your wounds is not an uncommon phenomenon, but when that retreat progresses to an unhealthy isolation and can last for years, who are you indulging, and who is indulging you in your retreat from life.  Just one of the several questions brought forward on the reading of this book.  First I needed to check several sources to get the best feeling for a very Japanese idea that does not always translate well. Hikkomori: the closing off of oneself from the outside world, denying interaction with others, hiding where it’s safe.  Of course, to properly practice this retreat, one needs to have someone who is supportive, who wants to listen, and who patiently will ‘wait the phase out’.  As Silke has reached the end of her patience and ideas to help heal, she brings in a woman who, with her newness and strangeness may be able to reach and heal Thomas, or relieve him of some of the heaviness. 

    In a lyrically written piece, the author is not asking us to understand Thomas’ retreat, nor is he asking for forgiveness, but simply stating what is, as It happened, in all the odd permutations of this triad so desperate for healing.  Intensely personal in feeling, the grief and guilt that Thomas carries within are palpable, and in a strange way, beautiful in its richness and detail.  The three all need some form of healing and forgiveness, perhaps mostly from themselves, but the depths to which Thomas has sunk in his isolation, and the guilt Silke feels for letting it progress to such a degree are not instantly solved, but slowly eroded in little bits. With a very interesting, and at times puzzling, juxtaposition of the dual cultural approaches presented, and the author’s facile handling of the story that never runs to overt pathos, this is a gripping read that is intense in both the story and the thoughts it leaves behind.

    I received an eBook copy from Publisher through NetGalley. I was not compensated for this review, and all conclusions are my own responsibility. 

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