Customer Reviews for

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

Average Rating 4
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

8 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

Great Marriage Counseling Tool

My husband and I had to read this book during our premarital counseling. Thanks to this book and a few others, people always comment on how great our marriage is. It's so important that we know what we need. So many times, we don't know what we need or we think we kn...
My husband and I had to read this book during our premarital counseling. Thanks to this book and a few others, people always comment on how great our marriage is. It's so important that we know what we need. So many times, we don't know what we need or we think we know what our spouse needs but we don't. This book clearly defines our needs. My husband and I read the book together and were able to talk about all the things we thought and felt. It is a must read for any engaged or married couple.

posted by SavannahSammySutton on September 17, 2009

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

Dated has some good points

The book is dated, meaning you can tell it was written many years ago. I also felt this was a book more geared towards younger couples. It does have a few good pointers but both parties are going to need to be willing to read and do the work you, your partner and/or you...
The book is dated, meaning you can tell it was written many years ago. I also felt this was a book more geared towards younger couples. It does have a few good pointers but both parties are going to need to be willing to read and do the work you, your partner and/or your counselor fell will help your relationship. Some of the suggestions I think needs to be put in a sealed vault and not come out again.

posted by dated-info on February 17, 2012

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 5, 2010

    Practical advice and insight that can help any marriage

    My husband recently admitted to having two-year long affair. After a two month seperation we have decided to reconcile. I just read the book and have passed it onto him. I wish we had read this book years ago and perhaps avoided this whole mess. However, it has already shed some light into what happened, how we can start to heal our marriage, and how we can prevent this from ever happening again. We are about a month into the reconcilliation process and still not sure if we can make it. But, this book provides hope and guidance that is practical and applicable from the very first chapter. A must read BEFORE you even get married, after you've been married a while, if your marriage is in trouble, or if you just want to improve what you have.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 26, 2004

    Don't believe anything negative in these reviews!

    As a cynic and a PhD psychologist, I was skeptical about its content, but reading it was enjoyable and thought-provoking. Essentially, the jist is that men and women both have needs--we try as we might to meet those needs, but without the right information, we're not meeting our PARTNER's needs, and this book gives guidance in that direction. If you believe that the world revolves around you or that you lazy enough to delude yourself that everything you do is PERFECT (i.e., my partner should just accept me as I am--why should I have to change or even try?), then you won't be interested in this book, and you'll likely protest when asked to read it (after all, why should YOU have to do ANYTHING?). If you really want to work at making your partner happy, and are humble enough to make efforts, you will GREATLY benefit from this book! No talk of plastic surgery to please your husband (I read some review that said that--that's not in there), and nothing negative--just try to figure out what your partner's innate needs are and seek to fulfill them better than you currently are!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 1, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    I read this book because a friend of mine was reading it as a pa

    I read this book because a friend of mine was reading it as a part of her pre-marital counseling. It was hard to read stories of affairs in each anecdote and made me take the idea of marriage as a fairy-tale off the fantasy pedestal and it demonstrates the true work required of a marriage. I can't imagine using this book after the affair has happened because I think I would be too angry. However, it provided an impetus to truly affair-proof your marriage before the wedding happens. It also makes me realize that pre-marial counseling should be much more than a few hours. It needs to take place early - almost as soon as you are engaged - and that it should probably be completed before a wedding date is set. Because you might change your mind after the counseling. And it should be a resource available for times when you hit a road block in your relationship. I enjoyed it, even though much of it was hard to hear, and I think it is a good resource fort managing a marriage

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 11, 2011

    More than a couples book!

    If you apply the suggestions in this book to your daily life with modifications needed to interact with everyone you come in contact with your life can be transformed.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 18, 2001

    Women may be from Venus, but this book explains them (and vice-versa).

    An excellent book. It covered the real reasons why marriages break up, and did so from the perspective of how to keep them together. As a Christian, this is very important to me. He covers 10 basic needs of men and women, what they are, and how to meet them. His claim is that when basic needs are not met, husbands and/or wives look elsewhere. He makes a lot of plain sense.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 17, 2014

    Definitely recommend

    My husband and I read this for a marriage group. It was a great base for discussion. All ages, all stages of marriage can find this informative. We all had several moments when we would realize "so that is why they do that!"

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  • Posted August 14, 2012

    My husband and I were in marriage counseling. Our counselor sugg

    My husband and I were in marriage counseling. Our counselor suggested we read this book. My husband did not however I did and had conversations about the book with my husband. I found it extremely helpful. It may say "building an affair proof marriage" but it definetly goes past affairs. I enjoyed the book and would suggest it to anyone struggling in a relationship.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 11, 2004

    Saves you lot's of Headaches

    Makes it simple to know what she's missing. After lot's of disagreements with Girlfriend, we both read this book. As it describes...we went from incompatible to irresistible. Once you realize the top 5 needs you can almost checklist your way back to good graces with her. Engagement Feb 2004, Marriage March 2005. Thanks Mr. Harley

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