Customer Reviews for

How I Lost You

Average Rating 4.5
( 11 )
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

What I love about this story is that at its core this story  is

What I love about this story is that at its core this story  is about friendship and the limits of friendship. Kya is on a downward spiral and Grace has always been the person to get Kya back on track. It's never really been a problem until Kya's actions start affecting...
What I love about this story is that at its core this story  is about friendship and the limits of friendship. Kya is on a downward spiral and Grace has always been the person to get Kya back on track. It's never really been a problem until Kya's actions start affecting Grace and Grace's future. Gurtler makes you really question when enough is enough? 




How I Lost You is so poignant and there are so many hard hitting moments and moments that make you contemplate about when to let go. I really tried to look at Kya and Grace's relationship from an objective perspective and there are many moments that I'm like "Ok Grace, time to cut her of now...that's too far Grace...Don't let her get away with this Grace...It's not your problem". However Gurtler does an amazing job at painting a picture about how complicated this relationship is, I think the moments were I'm like okay enough, are some of the same moments where Grace is having these realization. It's not a simple decision and I really feel like How I Lost You accurately portrays the difficulty of this decision. Even though I'm like, Ugh! Come On! I understand every reason why Grace feels like she has to stay, maybe it's because I've personally had a parasitic friendship of my own, where one person clearly benefited out of that relationship more than the other. There is absolutely no way to make a clean break with someone you have so much history without there being a lot of hurt and that's partly makes Grace hesitate and continue to give Kya more chances. 




I think my favorite of part of the novel however is not actually the characters but Gurtler's writing style, she masterfully interweaves light funny moments with darker serious moments, and those light moments don't detract at all from the serious topics. 




I am a personal fan of all of Janet Gurtler's works an How I Lost You is no exception. I laughed and I cried, and I felt a range of emotions and finished the book but couldn't leave the story alone, I couldn't stop thinking about Grace and thinking about how/if I would do anything differently. I would absolutely recommend that you read How I Lost You.




Copy provided by author for a honest and unbiased review.

posted by MyHeartHeartsBooks on June 5, 2013

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

What impressed me the most about HOW I LOST YOU was the way Jane

What impressed me the most about HOW I LOST YOU was the way Janet Gurtler dealt with losing a best friend. She mentioned once that when you lose a best friend, you experience the same emotions that come from breaking up with a significant other.  They've been there for ...
What impressed me the most about HOW I LOST YOU was the way Janet Gurtler dealt with losing a best friend. She mentioned once that when you lose a best friend, you experience the same emotions that come from breaking up with a significant other.  They've been there for you through thick and thin, and letting go is hard.  We've all experienced it.  It's always painful, especially when you truly love your friend. Whether you're on the receiving end or the one severing the cord, losing a good friend sucks. Sometimes, you have no choice. When friends become toxic and destroy your own life, it's time to let go...but that doesn't mean the break won't be painful!




HOW I LOST YOU centers around best friends Grace and Kya. They're always together, and even play paintball together, two fierce girls able to dominate in a male-oriented sport.  Grace knows exactly what she wants when she graduates: to play paintball in college with The Grinders, an all-female team.  There will be two open spots, and she knows they're meant for her and Kya.  Kya, however, is growing more irresponsible due to turmoil that rises in her life, and the team may no longer be willing to take a chance on either girl. Can Grace stop Kya's destructive behavior before it's to late to fix things?




There are so many deep, heavy issues lying at HOW I LOST YOU's heart. Even minor things stand out and become memorable. For example, it was intriguing to see a minor character with MS, and the way the disease impacts the life of the woman's son, James, the third amigo who cuts Kya off long before Grace has the heart to even consider it.  While there is a little romance mixed into the novel, it's never the focus. Instead, everything centers around the friendship between Grace and Kya. I really appreciated the way Gurtler chose not to overpower the book with an obligatory romance, but rather highlight a different sort of love, one able to equally resonate with readers. Grace wants nothing more than to believe the best of Kya and to support her in every way she can. She knows where Kya is coming from and is the keeper of Kya's deepest, darkest secret.  She hates the way Kya's always so needy, though, the way Kya won't put Grace's needs ahead of her own. It's always Grace giving; she never gains. The girls have cute little mannerisms such as the "Butt Dance" whenever Grace says "But," though they also have unfortunate nicknames for one another that can, at times, be distracting. At first, it seems that Grace is fine with this, but as the novel progresses, we see just how deeply Kya can hurt her, and just how much leeway Grace has given her to do so over the years. In a way, even these minor annoyances become important. 




And the paintball! I had so much fun reading about the sport through Grace's eyes. It's not something I've ever played or really thought twice about, but Gurtler brought it to life. The tension, the drama, the action. There were so many great moments, and paintball became a major character in its own right over the course of the book. I had no clue there were professional college teams, and feel I learned so much! The way Gurtler introduced me to a new sport and invited me to care reminds me of the way Miranda Kenneally is always able to do the same thing through her excellent novels. Both authors have a lot of heart and aren't afraid to shy away from tough topics. I'm glad to see so many brave authors in contemporary YA right now!

posted by Bonnie_W on June 25, 2013

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  • Posted June 25, 2013

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    What impressed me the most about HOW I LOST YOU was the way Jane

    What impressed me the most about HOW I LOST YOU was the way Janet Gurtler dealt with losing a best friend. She mentioned once that when you lose a best friend, you experience the same emotions that come from breaking up with a significant other.  They've been there for you through thick and thin, and letting go is hard.  We've all experienced it.  It's always painful, especially when you truly love your friend. Whether you're on the receiving end or the one severing the cord, losing a good friend sucks. Sometimes, you have no choice. When friends become toxic and destroy your own life, it's time to let go...but that doesn't mean the break won't be painful!




    HOW I LOST YOU centers around best friends Grace and Kya. They're always together, and even play paintball together, two fierce girls able to dominate in a male-oriented sport.  Grace knows exactly what she wants when she graduates: to play paintball in college with The Grinders, an all-female team.  There will be two open spots, and she knows they're meant for her and Kya.  Kya, however, is growing more irresponsible due to turmoil that rises in her life, and the team may no longer be willing to take a chance on either girl. Can Grace stop Kya's destructive behavior before it's to late to fix things?




    There are so many deep, heavy issues lying at HOW I LOST YOU's heart. Even minor things stand out and become memorable. For example, it was intriguing to see a minor character with MS, and the way the disease impacts the life of the woman's son, James, the third amigo who cuts Kya off long before Grace has the heart to even consider it.  While there is a little romance mixed into the novel, it's never the focus. Instead, everything centers around the friendship between Grace and Kya. I really appreciated the way Gurtler chose not to overpower the book with an obligatory romance, but rather highlight a different sort of love, one able to equally resonate with readers. Grace wants nothing more than to believe the best of Kya and to support her in every way she can. She knows where Kya is coming from and is the keeper of Kya's deepest, darkest secret.  She hates the way Kya's always so needy, though, the way Kya won't put Grace's needs ahead of her own. It's always Grace giving; she never gains. The girls have cute little mannerisms such as the "Butt Dance" whenever Grace says "But," though they also have unfortunate nicknames for one another that can, at times, be distracting. At first, it seems that Grace is fine with this, but as the novel progresses, we see just how deeply Kya can hurt her, and just how much leeway Grace has given her to do so over the years. In a way, even these minor annoyances become important. 




    And the paintball! I had so much fun reading about the sport through Grace's eyes. It's not something I've ever played or really thought twice about, but Gurtler brought it to life. The tension, the drama, the action. There were so many great moments, and paintball became a major character in its own right over the course of the book. I had no clue there were professional college teams, and feel I learned so much! The way Gurtler introduced me to a new sport and invited me to care reminds me of the way Miranda Kenneally is always able to do the same thing through her excellent novels. Both authors have a lot of heart and aren't afraid to shy away from tough topics. I'm glad to see so many brave authors in contemporary YA right now!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 30, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

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