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How to Catch and Keep a Vampire: A Step-by-Step Guide to Loving the Bad and the Beautiful

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  • Posted November 7, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Bridget's Review

    I've always wanted to meet a vampire. Not the poser kind that say they drink blood because they think it makes them look cool. I want to meet a real, true immortal vampire. I even had this dream before liking vampires was cool. I had people laugh at me when they found out that I was serious with my vamp fascination. Now that Twilight has come out, tons of people want to meet one. They're stealing my thunder! LOL. Just kidding. But seriously, if you meet a real vampire, please send them my way!

    I feel like this book was written for me. I've often wondered why I am so attracted to the undead. Especially because I used to be an angel. Seriously, I was 19 before I did something that my parents would consider "wrong". I was a boring, goody goody. Yet I was obsessed with creatures of the night. I've already met the love of my life, so now the only way I'll have a relationship with a vamp is someone turns him. Luckily, he's like me and shared my fascination of things that go bump in the night. This is an awesome book that helped me realize a lot about why I feel the way I feel. So go read it:)

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  • Posted October 25, 2009

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    A Fun Read

    I had a lot of fun reading this book! While I enjoy the occasional vampire story/TV show (i.e True Blood), I've always been curious about the vampire-obsessed. What makes the vampire so appealing, aside from the characters being played by attractive actors? This book answered that, and more. Plus, it had me laughing aloud (which probably frightened a lot of other people at my library).

    In my opinion, the book would definitely be categorized humor. If you look closely, however, there are some genuine dating tips throughout the book. Each chapter had various different sections, like "FAQ's about the Undead", Case Studies, and plenty of other tips on how to catch yourself a vampire. For example, did you know that wearing a red satin ribbon (tied in a bow) on your wrist shows your interest in those who are undead?

    Laurence also takes time to point out the difference between an evil vampire, and a "bad" vampire (think murderer vs the bad boy). She uses her personal experience with a vampire, named Dr. Stephen Grey, to emphasize why evil vampires shouldn't be sought out. In short, they want to drain you of your blood and/or convert you against your will.

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  • Posted October 22, 2009

    in a nutshell

    The red ribbon and the irresistible word Vampire on the cover told me I had to read this book. This is a very humorous look at how to date a vampire. They seem to be very accepting of all types of humans, as long as they hold some blood. The vampire in your life also has many traits that make his better than your current human boyfriend, husband or fling. A dating guide from an author who writes steamy romance and vampire novels, how can it get any better than that. Laurence is funny, witty and so believable. She had me questioning my belief in vampires from the start by she a assured voice and the tone of the book. If you enjoy vampire novels and love to see the different quality writers make their vampire process, you will love this book.

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  • Posted October 5, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Quick, fun dating guide for the undead

    This was a very funny book that somehow managed to straddle the line between serious dating guide and parody. Diana did a great job of presenting the realities of dating a vampire in a no-nonsence, practical method without ever veering into pure silliness. Inserting various 'case studies' from fellow vampirophiles of possible pitfalls was a nice touch, and I especially liked the FAQs at the end of each chapter.

    Think my favorite part of the book was the list of Top Ten Vampire Pickup Lines. I mean, really...what vampirophile could resist lines like "Your irresistible loveliness called to me from across this Jiffy Lube waiting room" or "I can be your Lestat, your Edward, your Bill...only better"?

    All in all, this was a fast, enjoyable, humorous read that I would recommend to any and all paranormal lovers out there. Gave it a 4 out of 5.

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  • Posted October 4, 2009

    Not disappointing!

    Diana Lawrence's new book, How to catch and keep a Vampire is a delicious comic guide book for all Vampire lovers (and you know who you are...) everywhere. Comic yes and yet, as you read on, you become more and more convinced of their existence. A third of the way in, as Lawrence writes of the "red satin ribbon" I found myself... debating, wondering... if maybe I should... internally arguing the morality of a happily married woman tempting such fate! It took a few moments to snap back into this sad Vampire less world to realize, "oh wait! There are no such things..." sigh!
    Mr. Lawrence writes with intelligence, wit and imagination on a subject that many might have had more than enough with. She brings to the table a fresh take on an ancient obsession and is brilliant in explaining why we are still fascinated by "the bad and the beautiful", that darker aspect of our psyche we try so hard to cover up.
    Written in language and imagery nicely muted for a younger audience, this new spin on the subject of Vampires will not disappoint.

    Con Pappalardo

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 15, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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