Customer Reviews for

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (30th Anniversary Edition)

Average Rating 4.5
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

A useful book to improve communication with kids

This book was actually suggested for my son who is a Special Needs Child to improve communication with him. But this book has made me to improve my communication with my daughter who is 9 years old. A very good book which I would suggest to be read by every parent.

posted by RRCA on July 1, 2009

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Good book? Are you kidding me?

I am literally shocked that anyone could read this book and find it even somewhat useful. If my goal were to raise children who were in complete control of every situation they may ever find themselves in, to turn bad behavior into a joke favoring my child, or to just ...
I am literally shocked that anyone could read this book and find it even somewhat useful. If my goal were to raise children who were in complete control of every situation they may ever find themselves in, to turn bad behavior into a joke favoring my child, or to just plain act like I'm a clueless pushover, I might recommend this book. Instead, read Setting Limits if you are interested in being respectful yet firm, allowing your child to bask in their self esteem while learning the world has consequences for our actions.

posted by Anonymous on September 3, 2007

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Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 33 review with 5 star rating   See All Ratings
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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2006

    Wonderful Examples of Better Communication with Children

    This classic book clearly explains the difference between positive discipline and punishment. The authors feel that punishment usually does not serve to change the child's behavior and they give many positive alternatives that often work better. I found their many specific examples in simple cartoon form as well as in the text to be extremely helpful giving me the exact words to try with my 2 children, aged 3 and 8. The true to life anecdotes are the best part of this book and they refer to challenging situations with children of all ages, like sibling rivalry, tuning us out, homework, disrespectful attitude, chores, backtalk, tantrums, etc. If you have a toddler like me, I also recommend 'The Pocket Parent' written in a bulleted A-Z format for parents with a 2, 3, 4, or 5 year old. This book has similar, specific anecdotes for toddlers that whine, bite, refuse to eat or go to bed, lie, hit, etc. We refer to both books again and again to get options to try as situations arise...Practical, very parent-friendly and resonably priced guidance equally appropriate for both moms and dads.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 28, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    This Is Handbook That Every Parent Asks For!

    Raising a child can be tough in this day and age. What children never come with is a handbook. This book is about as close to a "handbook" that every parent wish for. If your child is one day to twenty-one pick it up.

    For anyone who feels bound by their anger, guilt, hurt or pain, I also recommend "When God Stopped Keeping Score." I thought that the book was just about forgiveness, I soon learned, it was about so much more than that. I was about how you should deal with friends, family and yourself and more importantly, how to keep these relationships strong when things go wrong. As a parent, I have learned raising children will bring unearth a lot of the emotions you felt in childhood.

    Having read it, I feel like a better person. Maybe because this book spoke to me and not down to me. I have read a lot of books that was written like I didn't know anything. What the author of "When God Stopped Keeping Score" does is talk to you like a friend. I needed that. You will understand why when you read it.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 20, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Love the Book!

    I have purchased this book for friends and family. I totally recommend this book for those who have kids/children.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 25, 2000

    Lifesaver

    As a child and adolescent Psychiatrist, I believe this book helps parents obtain a level of success and peace of mind that no other parenting book can provide. It is easy to understand and it works. But watch out! The book will require you to be an active participant in your child's life and learn to see them with respect and joy.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 5, 2010

    Every parent should have this book!

    When our kids are younger, we read magazines and books on their upbringing. But as they reach the "difficult" years we tend to rely on friends' strategies to guide us along. This book is a great resource for the those years! It's kinda like a workbook with different scenarios for all situations you encounter as a parent of teens and tweens. It's really amazing as you read the book how many situations you can apply to your family. It seems the author was studying my family before he wrote the book!

    It's very easy to read and the information can be applied immediately. I can see my attitude change as well as the attitudes of my kids. It's great!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 5, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Excellent book

    I used this book when my now thirty-something children were little. I also recommended it to parents throughout my teaching career because it describes the "active listening" technique in an easy to remember way and has illustrations of the main points to aid remembering them. I bought the latest version for my daughter when my granddaughter was little and it was very helpful to her. I required a teacher-intern who was having difficulty relating to her students to buy the book and bought the latest copy to be able to discuss it page by page with her. I think that the authors have a great book for many uses. The techniques described also work with spouses and co-workers and in any social situation. Active listening helps you be a more genuine person to your children and not only "works" as a discipline technique, but also helps you have a genuine, loving, and cooperative relationship with them.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 30, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Every Parent and Teacher Should Read This Book

    This book is a must read for every parent, every teacher, and anyone who works with children. This book was recommended to me by my son's Speech Pathologist. Since I have a slight hearing problem - I tend to speak loudly. This book as helped me to lower the volume of my speech. It has also given me the tools to choose my words differently which has yielded more patience in dealing with my special needs child.

    I highly recommend this book for every parent, but it is especially helpful for parents with kids that have sensory issues. Anyone with a sensory child knows how challenging it can be to teach their child to be aware of other people and things. This book is a great tool.

    I think anyone who gives this book a negative review is actually looking for a book on how to punish their children and not a book on speaking and listening respectfully.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 30, 2009

    A great read for Parents

    Practical insight into both sides of communication.
    No matter your age the parents are just "old" to a child.
    Listening and being heard are difficult traits that most
    people need to refresh on. Read this book and be a better
    parent and person!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Communication techniques that really work.

    This book should be required reading for all those who are parents or who hope to be--as well as teachers and others who interact with children. The guidlines for communicating effectively based on love, mutual respect, preacticality and reason can be used with adults as well. This book takes theories of "tough love" and "natural consequences" to a user friendly level. Eliminating power struggles and heated arguments that go nowhere is facilitated by understanding the premise of Faber and Mazlish' work. And I find that using their methods actually builds respect, accountability and ease of communication on many levels.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 25, 2007

    My Parenting and Teaching Bible

    As a preschool teacher and director for the past sixteen years, mother of three, grandmother of three and aunt of 22, I can tell you that the 'tricks' in this book saved many hours of frustration. I am thrilled that the message here is to treat children with respect and to speak with respect. I have recommended this easy-to-read book to parents for the twenty years that I've used it. I wish I could give it 10 stars!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 7, 2006

    Wonderful parenting/life skills guide!

    I have used this book for over 20 years! The key to learning to use this book is to take 'baby steps' doing one technique at a time so you don't get overwhelmed and neither do your kids. I first took a class on parenting that used this book when my now 23 year old son was 2 years old and being very oppositional(he is now in law school)! I have gone back to it many, many times. I have found it very helpful in getting my kids to talk when I know something is bothering them (even now at ages 23 and nearly 18), and also the techniques help to keep the lines of communication open when they are telling me about a problem they are having (even when I really want to say--but don't--'why did you do something so dumb!' ha). I recommend it to parents all the time. It also helps you to talk with adults, especially your spouse!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 1, 2000

    Wow - it's great!

    This is one of the best books I've ever read on getting kids to open up and communicate, especially for the child of two to six. It will make a big diference in your life.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 28, 2013

    Highly recommend!

    Every one that has children should read this book! It may just change your life for the better of everyone that has contact with you.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 31, 2012

    very useful

    nice read

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 3, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Must Read

    This is as close to an instruction manual on raising children as you will find.

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  • Posted December 28, 2009

    So Good I've Bought it Twice

    I highly recommend this book for successful, healthy communicating with children and adults alike. I learned so many valuable lessons in validating my childrens feelings and teaching them to trust themselves AND saved myself a lot of time and frustration by knowing when NOT to argue or step in. The advice is practical, easy to follow, and some of it makes such obvious sense that I felt a little ignorant for not already knowing it! This books advice on communicating has also been very effective in my interpersonal relationships with adults and in business. I wish every parent was given this book at the baby shower for their first born. It's that valuable.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 20, 2005

    Still the best book for parents.

    This is the best book to read if you want to build strong relationships with your children. However, you can also use this with all your relationships. The reason that this book is so valuable is because it is based on a strong foundation of encouragement and understanding of meeting the child (persons) basic needs. There are times when we actually discourage our children by seeing them as helpless and over protect them. There are times when we want to point out their short commings to teach a lesson and they stop listening to us and just feel bad about who they are. Sometimes these children just give up. This book encourages parents to talk less and to listen more, how to have empathy and how to set limits in ways that allow the love to come through. When parents learn to do these things children respond more positively. This book gives parents more ways to help the child feel loved and to have reasons to feel like a part of the family. I must say that, my 30 year old son is a loving, productive, happy person and I owe an awful lot of the improvement in my parenting skills to, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, And Listen So Kids Will Talk. I encourage every person to read this book because it is just the best for relationships of all kinds.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 10, 2004

    not just for parents

    This book should be required reading for anyone who works with children - whether it be parents, teachers, scout leaders, coaches. This book is a classic when it comes to great parenting advice but I hope even non-parents read it too. Effective communication is a skill we all need to model well so kids grow up knowing how to do this in their own lives as independent adults. I especially like the advice about homework battles. It reminded me of another good book, Mommy-CEO, that gives similar advice. Respectful communication that is developmentally appropriate is so much more effective than yelling and screaming, nagging, or talking down to kids. Get this book!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 10, 2004

    Read So You Will Understand

    This is an older book with a classic message. Adele Faber and her sidekick, are truly remarkable women and authors. While it does take time, it's a wise investment. If you take a parenting class, the film may be available. If it is, it kind of helps to explain certain suggestions. I highly recommend this book to all of my parents as well as Mommy-CEO by Jodie Lynn. Both authors have, and make, excellent points and are worth their weight in gold. Both books make awesome gifts for baby showers, birthdays and holidays. As a teacher, I am extremely picky in my books -- not bragging -- just stating a fact. I truly enjoy this book.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 25, 2003

    I saw the video

    I saw this video in my child devlopment class. It is a very good video and I learned something from watching it. It isn't only for parents and children. This could also work with a friend, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend. If the video is good, I'm sure the book will be good also.

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