Customer Reviews for

I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance

Average Rating 4.5
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

With a title as controversial as this, I knew I was in for a doozy of a read. Jumping into the book, I soon realized that Harris' focus wasn't on never getting into relationships. Rather, he was trying to tell readers not to date for the sake of dating. To him, relation...
With a title as controversial as this, I knew I was in for a doozy of a read. Jumping into the book, I soon realized that Harris' focus wasn't on never getting into relationships. Rather, he was trying to tell readers not to date for the sake of dating. To him, relationships must be pure and done out of love and service to the other person. To have no interest in marriage or commitment is just wasting the other person's time and emotions. Fascinatingly, at the end of the book, he alluded to his sequel where he accounts for how he met and courted--yes, I just used that word--his wife. Bible is quoted, and the pages fly by in this captivating book. What striked me the most was how Harris said we can grow in God's love in our singleness (something I've even seen in other relationships people have). The point of being selfless and not selfish will really hit home with readers. To truly stare at Christ is not to be worked up over members of the opposite sex, sizing them up and fantasizing about potential mates. No. Harris tells us to love our neighbors, pursue holy righteousness, be selfless, and trust God to work out his plan. Splendid.

posted by Teresa_Konopka on August 7, 2011

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Most Helpful Critical Review

3 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

Modern Day Pharasee

This book is damaging to the Christian community. It has very good Biblical principals in it, but Josh Harris' conclusions are not at all Biblical. If you find this book at all appealing, you should read Boundaries in Dating by Christian authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr...
This book is damaging to the Christian community. It has very good Biblical principals in it, but Josh Harris' conclusions are not at all Biblical. If you find this book at all appealing, you should read Boundaries in Dating by Christian authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend who shed a proper light on Harris' unhealthy and unbiblical conclusions. Christians like rules which is why this book is popular. But a critical review of it proves that Harris' plan is that of a modern day pharasee. The internet is full of horror stories of people's lives that have been damaged as a result of trying to live by Harris' plan. This book would be most beneficial to people with addictive personality disorders who need a strict set of extreme rules to guide their lives. But for those who possess balanced psyches and who successfully govern their lives through common sense and reliance on the Holy Spirit and Scripture, Harris' plan is psychologically unhealthy. Many marriage and family counselors who have counseled married couples who followed the Harris plan find that such couples have disproportationate problems with intimacy in their marriage. Here is Harris' conclusion in a nutshell: since some people date recklessly, no one should date. That is like saying: since some people drive recklessly, no one should drive. Harris is well intended but his conclusions are wacky and extremist, which is not surprising since he was barely out of his teen years when he wrote this book.

posted by Rob_MFC_Christian on January 26, 2010

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  • Posted August 7, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    I Kissed Dating Goodbye

    With a title as controversial as this, I knew I was in for a doozy of a read. Jumping into the book, I soon realized that Harris' focus wasn't on never getting into relationships. Rather, he was trying to tell readers not to date for the sake of dating. To him, relationships must be pure and done out of love and service to the other person. To have no interest in marriage or commitment is just wasting the other person's time and emotions. Fascinatingly, at the end of the book, he alluded to his sequel where he accounts for how he met and courted--yes, I just used that word--his wife. Bible is quoted, and the pages fly by in this captivating book. What striked me the most was how Harris said we can grow in God's love in our singleness (something I've even seen in other relationships people have). The point of being selfless and not selfish will really hit home with readers. To truly stare at Christ is not to be worked up over members of the opposite sex, sizing them up and fantasizing about potential mates. No. Harris tells us to love our neighbors, pursue holy righteousness, be selfless, and trust God to work out his plan. Splendid.

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 26, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Modern Day Pharasee

    This book is damaging to the Christian community. It has very good Biblical principals in it, but Josh Harris' conclusions are not at all Biblical. If you find this book at all appealing, you should read Boundaries in Dating by Christian authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend who shed a proper light on Harris' unhealthy and unbiblical conclusions. Christians like rules which is why this book is popular. But a critical review of it proves that Harris' plan is that of a modern day pharasee. The internet is full of horror stories of people's lives that have been damaged as a result of trying to live by Harris' plan. This book would be most beneficial to people with addictive personality disorders who need a strict set of extreme rules to guide their lives. But for those who possess balanced psyches and who successfully govern their lives through common sense and reliance on the Holy Spirit and Scripture, Harris' plan is psychologically unhealthy. Many marriage and family counselors who have counseled married couples who followed the Harris plan find that such couples have disproportationate problems with intimacy in their marriage. Here is Harris' conclusion in a nutshell: since some people date recklessly, no one should date. That is like saying: since some people drive recklessly, no one should drive. Harris is well intended but his conclusions are wacky and extremist, which is not surprising since he was barely out of his teen years when he wrote this book.

    3 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted November 15, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    WOW

    The title grabbed my attention, so I began to read it. I could not believe what I was reading. Josh Harris showed me a different perspective about dating and relationships. His book is inspiring. I enjoyed reading it.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 16, 2011

    PLEASE, PLEASE create a Nook version!

    I was so disappointed to see that the study guide (and not the actual book) was offered in Nook format. Please, consider creating a Nook version, I so very much need to have this with me at all times!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 29, 2011

    A Must-Read

    I Kissed Dating Goodbye doesn't just tell you that dating is bad, or tell you courtship is the only way to go. It doesn't tell you to avoid the opposite sex entirely. Joshua Harris instead encourages "a new attitude toward romance and relationships".

    Throughout the book, the author reminds readers that "the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment". He points out problems with today's dating habits and ways to avoid this.
    Rather than following this up with a list of rules, he instead talks about what the true definition of love is and how we should enjoy the time we have as a single and use it for God's glory.

    He talks about viewing marriage properly, and not basing our affections on mere appearances but instead on character. He mentioned some "little acts" of a person's character to look for, which I found extremely helpful. Not only are they things to look for in a person, but also things we should work on in our own lives.

    I Kissed Dating Goodbye is not necessarily about dating vs. courtship as much as it is not pursuing romantic relationships until the proper time. Whatever your views on dating/courting, and whether you are currently dating or not, there are many helpful tips to be found in this book. I Kissed Dating Goodbye is definitely a book I would recommend.


    I received this book free from the publisher and am not required to write a positive review.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2010

    The book is life changing

    Great book, full of useful information, easy read, changes how one see's things

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2007

    Good Point, Poor Reasoning

    Eloquently written book that will surely fool any simple minded reader that Jesus Christ wants a legion of sexually repressed people to serve him till they stumble into a poorly executed marriage, which if you follow Joshua's guidelines is sure to end unhappily. Though dating at a young age when not look for a serious commitment is something to consider not partaking in, I fear for those young adults who swear they'll never have to look for the right person until God sends them to you with a stamp across their foreheads signaling his approval. No wonder divorce rates are so high....

    2 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 8, 2012

    A good book tackling the issue that plagues many a youth gr

    A good book tackling the issue that plagues many a youth group in churches today. With a revolving door of teens dating for the sake of dating, Harris does a good job pointing out the pitfalls that plague this line of dating. Instead of finding fulfillment through others, he points to finding fulfillment first through God. Then, you will be in a position to fulfill the needs of others and also date with purpose. The purpose of finding your future spouse.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 10, 2011

    This is a MUST read!

    In Joshua Harris' book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," he discusses a subject many people like to avoid. That subject is dating... I'm sure many think this guy is crazy, I mean who ever heard of "today's" people not wanting to date. Joshua advises us how to just be friends in a just do it world, while still having fun with the opposite sex. He gives 7 habits of highly defective dating...
    1) Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of a relationship.
    2) Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
    3) Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
    4) Dating can distract young people from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
    5) Dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness. 
    6) Dating can create an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character.
    7) Dating often becomes an end in itself. 
    Joshua doesn't leave us hanging though, he gives us 5 ways to avoid defective dating as well...
    1) Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ's love. 
    2) My unmarried years are a gift from God.
    3)  I don't need to pursue a romantic relationship before I am ready for marriage. 
    4) I cannot "own" someone outside of marriage.
    5) I will avoid situations that could compromise the purity of my body or
    mind. 
    There are many different views of dating. There are people who date... date... and date. They aren't ever content unless they have that boy or girlfriend. Some think dating is fine as long as everything stays within their bounds. Many have good intentions and it may very well be that the one you are dating is going to be your future spouse. But the question is this, why even date when you aren't ready for marriage? The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Joshua discusses these issues and many more including purity, romance, and the gift of singleness. This book was quite an eyeopener and is definitely something you should consider reading. But in the end the choice will be up to you, will you "kiss" dating  goodbye?

    I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah's Blogging for Books and have given my honest opinion of this book.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 13, 2008

    Ive always been bitter about dating

    Ive always have been bitter towards God for not bringing the right guy into my life. Im a teenager and almost everyone i know is in a relationship. I felt left out and im really picky so i was wondering why i didnt have a bf. Then i read this book and it totally changed my views i reliazed that i need to focus on God and not my latest crush. I also need to focus on what God is calling me to do in my friends lifes and in mine. I thought about it and decided that i had been wasting my time when i was single instead of enjoying the time. So now i am not bitter anymore. Thankyou!

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 29, 2004

    A New Perspective

    This was an eyeopening book, that has an unusual, but much needed perspective on dating. I didn't whole-heartedly agree with every single thing, but most of the things and the book overall were amazing! It helped my perspective on dating, men, and my own relationships with those around me as well as with God.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 30, 2012

    so ridiculous

    so ridiculous

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 22, 2012

    A Wonderful, Challenging Book

    A book that challenges our culture. A book that equips young adults to fight for purity. A book with practical, sound advice. A book founded on the Lord's commands. And a book that you will read over and over again.

    I Kissed Dating Goodbye was written by Joshua Harris at the age of 21. His book opened new ideas for dating and relationships. He wrote simply and he wrote from his heart. He challenged and impressed people.

    I recommend that every young adult read this. I, personally, have never dated (so I didn't have to kiss that goodbye), but it had wonderful, bublical advice for helping your dating friends. Joshua reminds us constantly that we are to seek the Lord and remain humble as we make different decisions from our friends. It is very convicting.

    I highly recommend this book. Please be aware that some adult topics are discussed. While they are handled with grace and maturity, parents will want to preview.

    Score ~ ¿¿¿¿¿
    Violence ~ None
    Indecency ~ 4 (with parental guidance)
    Language ~ None
    Age Appropriateness ~ 15 and above

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 24, 2011

    Every Single Christian Should Read This

    As a young Christian woman, I loved this book! Christian parents will also love this book. It makes a perfect present for your teenagers and anyone looking for love. This book is about waiting, of course. It is not offensive or too much for a teenager and shouldn't turn them off. It doesn't tell you like a bossy know-it-all adult, so it isn't offensive to the reader. In fact, it makes waiting for love beautiful. I recommend this book for all those singles out there. I am 27 and still waiting for my love. I am happy to wait and this book inspires me to continue waiting.

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  • Posted July 9, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Pick Up This Book!

    Joshua Harris brings us an amazing book that, if you let it, will reshape your love life entirely. And I mean that in a good way!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 22, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Changing the World, One Relationship at a Time

    Thank you, God! I am so grateful that someone is getting the message out about a better standard for relationships. This book changed my life and my outlook; I would probably be in a different place spiritually and emotionally were it not for the Lord speaking to me through this book. It offers a timeless view on relationships applied to recent situations, and challenges the reader to reevaluate how we interact with the opposite sex. The book is not there to make you feel guilty or impose a one-way mindset on you; rather, it's purpose is to illuminate what the Lord had in mind and make you able to make an informed decision about relationships. The book is full of real-life stories, tips, Scripture, and more.Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris's second book, offers tips on how to Kiss Dating Goodbye, but Say Hello to Courtship. It is very encouraging to read that courtship and not dating does truly work, and it produces a beautiful, God-honoring relationship. I encourage everyone to read both of these books; they will change your life. I was reluctant at first to let go of my worldly perspective, but I have found so much more joy treating guys as brothers in Christ. Pray about it, give it a try!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted November 11, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Life Changing

    I read this book after a really difficult break-up not knowing the fullness of it. From the first paragraph I was hooked. This book changed my life and because I have read this I have learned what it is to have healthy relationships with men. Relationships that don't hinder the relationship I have with Christ.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 7, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Great Book

    Joshua Harris doesn't tell you what to do or make you feel bad for the way you dated, but explains his point of courtship in a way that helps you understand and come to the conclusion for yourself that courtship is the way to go. Though I personally won't "court" it does give me some pointers and tips of what kind of relationship I should be looking for. I highly reccomend this book to any christian pre-teen/teenager boy or girl to read this. This is a must book for them, when our culture is telling us what we need in a relationship,that dating is a casual thing; it's nice to hear the christian alternative.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 31, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Great Book!

    There is a common deception that Joshua Harris is against dating! this is not the case. Granted the title of the book implies it and turns some readers off, there is a fear of condemnation about their current relaationship. But actually it reinforces the conclusion I have come to about dating 'dont date unless you are ready for commitment'
    I would challenge everybody who is single and hopes to be married to read this book, it brought to light why some of my relaationships never worked out, and also the 'why' and 'how' I got so infatuated with members of the opposite sex!
    A challenging read and a great job on the follow up book

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 23, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    One of the best books I've ever read!

    I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris is one of those treasures not to be missed.

    It made me think about what really matters in a relationship and how to build healthy, strong relationships. I hope to read Boy Meets Girl shortly.

    In addition to reading Joshua Harri's ideas and convictions it is a great book to use when setting your own goals and rules in the area of dating and relationships.

    Another good book to read is Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. These boys are Joshua's younger brothers.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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