Customer Reviews for

I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

With a title as controversial as this, I knew I was in for a doozy of a read. Jumping into the book, I soon realized that Harris' focus wasn't on never getting into relationships. Rather, he was trying to tell readers not to date for the sake of dating. To him, relation...
With a title as controversial as this, I knew I was in for a doozy of a read. Jumping into the book, I soon realized that Harris' focus wasn't on never getting into relationships. Rather, he was trying to tell readers not to date for the sake of dating. To him, relationships must be pure and done out of love and service to the other person. To have no interest in marriage or commitment is just wasting the other person's time and emotions. Fascinatingly, at the end of the book, he alluded to his sequel where he accounts for how he met and courted--yes, I just used that word--his wife. Bible is quoted, and the pages fly by in this captivating book. What striked me the most was how Harris said we can grow in God's love in our singleness (something I've even seen in other relationships people have). The point of being selfless and not selfish will really hit home with readers. To truly stare at Christ is not to be worked up over members of the opposite sex, sizing them up and fantasizing about potential mates. No. Harris tells us to love our neighbors, pursue holy righteousness, be selfless, and trust God to work out his plan. Splendid.

posted by Teresa_Konopka on August 7, 2011

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Most Helpful Critical Review

3 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

Modern Day Pharasee

This book is damaging to the Christian community. It has very good Biblical principals in it, but Josh Harris' conclusions are not at all Biblical. If you find this book at all appealing, you should read Boundaries in Dating by Christian authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr...
This book is damaging to the Christian community. It has very good Biblical principals in it, but Josh Harris' conclusions are not at all Biblical. If you find this book at all appealing, you should read Boundaries in Dating by Christian authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend who shed a proper light on Harris' unhealthy and unbiblical conclusions. Christians like rules which is why this book is popular. But a critical review of it proves that Harris' plan is that of a modern day pharasee. The internet is full of horror stories of people's lives that have been damaged as a result of trying to live by Harris' plan. This book would be most beneficial to people with addictive personality disorders who need a strict set of extreme rules to guide their lives. But for those who possess balanced psyches and who successfully govern their lives through common sense and reliance on the Holy Spirit and Scripture, Harris' plan is psychologically unhealthy. Many marriage and family counselors who have counseled married couples who followed the Harris plan find that such couples have disproportationate problems with intimacy in their marriage. Here is Harris' conclusion in a nutshell: since some people date recklessly, no one should date. That is like saying: since some people drive recklessly, no one should drive. Harris is well intended but his conclusions are wacky and extremist, which is not surprising since he was barely out of his teen years when he wrote this book.

posted by Rob_MFC_Christian on January 26, 2010

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  • Posted May 8, 2012

    A good book tackling the issue that plagues many a youth gr

    A good book tackling the issue that plagues many a youth group in churches today. With a revolving door of teens dating for the sake of dating, Harris does a good job pointing out the pitfalls that plague this line of dating. Instead of finding fulfillment through others, he points to finding fulfillment first through God. Then, you will be in a position to fulfill the needs of others and also date with purpose. The purpose of finding your future spouse.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 10, 2011

    This is a MUST read!

    In Joshua Harris' book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," he discusses a subject many people like to avoid. That subject is dating... I'm sure many think this guy is crazy, I mean who ever heard of "today's" people not wanting to date. Joshua advises us how to just be friends in a just do it world, while still having fun with the opposite sex. He gives 7 habits of highly defective dating...
    1) Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of a relationship.
    2) Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
    3) Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
    4) Dating can distract young people from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
    5) Dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness. 
    6) Dating can create an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character.
    7) Dating often becomes an end in itself. 
    Joshua doesn't leave us hanging though, he gives us 5 ways to avoid defective dating as well...
    1) Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ's love. 
    2) My unmarried years are a gift from God.
    3)  I don't need to pursue a romantic relationship before I am ready for marriage. 
    4) I cannot "own" someone outside of marriage.
    5) I will avoid situations that could compromise the purity of my body or
    mind. 
    There are many different views of dating. There are people who date... date... and date. They aren't ever content unless they have that boy or girlfriend. Some think dating is fine as long as everything stays within their bounds. Many have good intentions and it may very well be that the one you are dating is going to be your future spouse. But the question is this, why even date when you aren't ready for marriage? The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Joshua discusses these issues and many more including purity, romance, and the gift of singleness. This book was quite an eyeopener and is definitely something you should consider reading. But in the end the choice will be up to you, will you "kiss" dating  goodbye?

    I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah's Blogging for Books and have given my honest opinion of this book.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 13, 2008

    Ive always been bitter about dating

    Ive always have been bitter towards God for not bringing the right guy into my life. Im a teenager and almost everyone i know is in a relationship. I felt left out and im really picky so i was wondering why i didnt have a bf. Then i read this book and it totally changed my views i reliazed that i need to focus on God and not my latest crush. I also need to focus on what God is calling me to do in my friends lifes and in mine. I thought about it and decided that i had been wasting my time when i was single instead of enjoying the time. So now i am not bitter anymore. Thankyou!

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 7, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Great Book

    Joshua Harris doesn't tell you what to do or make you feel bad for the way you dated, but explains his point of courtship in a way that helps you understand and come to the conclusion for yourself that courtship is the way to go. Though I personally won't "court" it does give me some pointers and tips of what kind of relationship I should be looking for. I highly reccomend this book to any christian pre-teen/teenager boy or girl to read this. This is a must book for them, when our culture is telling us what we need in a relationship,that dating is a casual thing; it's nice to hear the christian alternative.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 29, 2008

    loved the book

    I was going trough lots of pain and loneliness. I asked God why i was in pain my heart was broken. I asked him to help me in a my prayers. Till i found this book in a christians girls house and she gave it to me to read. For some reason i felt better an i was hurting still but i realised i was not alone that God was always with me.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 28, 2008

    the truth about relationships...

    I liked this book because it talks about how some people see relationships. It tells you how some people see these things as a game, and not as a serious thing. Some people thing that having a girlfriend/boyfriend is just a thing of kissing, having fun, and doing some other stuff. But the truth is that is not always like that, the feelings are involved here as well. If you only see it as a need to have a girlfriend/boyfriend, the other person is thinking that u really like them and they are going to put their hopes up, just so u go one day and tell them that is all over. And at the end she's not the only one that is going to get hurt, but you as well. Because you know that you are only playing with that person's feelings deep inside, and yours too, even though you thing that this is not going to affect you it will. That what the book says. The reason why many relationships don't work is because there are some guys that don¿t even have respect for their own mom, and they think they are ready to handle a relationship, How can they say that they are ready to form a relationship, where there is going to be trust, respect, and many other factors involved. This book also tells you that if have been struggling with relationships, you should take a brake and devote to God, not meaning that you should be a priest, but that you should get closer to God and hope that he guides you the right way, so you don¿t make any mistakes that you are going to regret later in life. There are many parts on the book that I don't agree with, an example is when it talks about how this guy stopped going out with girls because he really loved God, and he wanted to make God happy, because he had died for us, and the guy felt like he had to pay him back by stopping going out with girls. He said that he would see them just as friends and nothing else. All of this because he wanted God to be proud of him. In this book the author is not telling you to end your social life with boys/girls, but to respect people a little more. A part that I really liked is when he says that 'remember, whatever you do to that girl, you are doing it to someone¿s future wife' and I don¿t think no one would like to know what someone else did to your wife or husband. Even though the past is past, it will always stay with you. I liked this book and I recommend it to all the people that think that dating is just a game. I¿m not telling you that u should take it more serious, but that you should be very careful on what you say and what you do. Because you never know what¿s going to happen and how the other person is going to react.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 16, 2006

    I recommend this to everybody. Please read it!

    I liked 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' a whole lot. The title may throw the reader off but that was not what Josh was aiming at. He was aiming at changing how we date to where it is not all about ourselves and where we have a purpose. He rejects the 'just having fun', reckless, selfish dating that our culture encourages but points us to a better, God-centered way of it. I recommend this book to people who want to get it right it relationships and know that there is something wrong in our culture. But what I also liked is that this book points out to make the most of our singleness(if you are single) and become the right person instead of worrying about trying to find the right person.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted May 16, 2010

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