Customer Reviews for

It's (Mostly) His Fault: For Women Who Are Fed Up and the Men Who Love Them

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 8, 2011

    Now I Finally Understand My Husband! A Must Read for Wives!

    My husband's behavior was driving me crazy! I didn't understand him and he didn't understand me. I had become a nag, and I didn't want to be. What else could I do? If this sounds like you, READ THIS BOOK! This book explains both male and female behavior, and how a relationship can be made satisfying for both the husband and the wife. It is direct, and the examples are right-on. It explains clearly, in a man's language, how he can be a great husband, and it has sections for the wife on how she can support her husband's transformation from a jerk to the man she can truly love. THANK YOU MR. ALTER! And many thanks to his wife, Jane, as well for insisting that he change!

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  • Posted December 6, 2010

    Haven't even finished it and it's a MUST READ!

    I'm giving this to my two daughters and my daughter-in-law. We have had the conversations and discussions about how they are treated by their husbands, and I think this book gives the wife credibility for being the glue of the family, and tells the husband to be more aware of everyday stuff that leads to so much unhappiness. Finally, I think everyone can be on the same page if they follow even 1/2 of the suggestions in the book.

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  • Posted March 29, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Take what you can from this

    Like most self-help books, the reader only gets from it what the truly want to get from it. Some may see the author's point as being narrow or about male bashing. But that isn't his point. It isn't about emasculating us males or turning us into some drone. It's about fixing stuff that is broken (and after all, isn't that why we're reading the book in the first place?). Alter's writing is concise and to the point, and has a certain every day speaking that gives less of a text-book feel and more of a common hook. It's not about statistics, it's about looking in the mirror and admitting that maybe- just possibly, perhaps- that you can do something to help stop all the bickering, arguing, anger, fighting. Guys, Chances are that you will find yourself being described someplace in the book. If you don't like that, then you have the power to fix it. That is Alter's simple message.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 24, 2008

    A refreshing perspective

    I found this book on the bargain table and was caught by the title. I have read most of the Mars/Venus stuff and found it very helpful, but was frustrated by what women were supposed to do and just accept as far as men's behavior 'don't ever give advice, be critical, be upset when they retreat to their 'cave', etc'. John Gray does also coach men to be more understanding as well, but it still seemed like the women just had to accept behavior that was very hurtful as part of men's makeup that probably would never change. But in this book we have a male therapist who comes out and says that not only can men change, but that women have a right to be upset with much of what they do and to expect to be treated with love and respect and to keep after these guys until they behave accordingly! Yeah! I felt so much better after reading this. I had been trying to be understanding for so long when guys would just not call me because they were 'too busy' or whatever. I would feel hurt and angry, but believed that was just the way it was and I had to accept that. Now I feel much more empowered to believe that I deserve better, and to know that I have so much to give a man in my life and he needs to value that and treat me with the respect and love that I deserve. Robert Alter is my new hero!! Thank you so much for this book!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 4, 2007

    get the narcissism out of our men

    The book is for men by a man. It is not filled with psycho jargon. I could see how some may find Alter's view distasteful, a paradigm shift is always difficult. Alter uses real life stories to illustrate his points, it hits home. Men will see how ridiculous it is to demand everything be their way and for the wife to simply comply. No, he is not the center of the universe! It is not a put down for women it actually gives back women¿s power. If men and women are to live together in harmony and contentment, both of their needs have to be met. Alter tries to help men see that if they connect with their wives they both will have their needs met.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 27, 2007

    hysterical, real, right on

    this is the most wonderful book on marriage/relationships i have ever read...and i have read a lot. it is grounded in the theory that men, quite simply, are never taught or given the tools to know how to be in a 'healthy' marriage. society teaches women, not men. that is why we come to the table on such unequal ground. that is why women are so frustrated with their husbands. this book is a breath of fresh air because it is based on the real life experience and observation of one marriage counselor. it made made laugh, gave me comfort, affirmed my feelings, made my husband laugh, revealed the secret pain of so many married couples in an honest, genuine way that gives me so much hope and makes me feel not so alone in the universe.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 10, 2006

    A pathetic excuse for information

    I read many books, and in evaluating a book I always look closely at the author and authorities (bibliographies, endnotes, footnotes, etc). If you read this book and, after searching for the point, feel as if you are in a disorienting fog, there is a reason. The books is groundless and has no bearing other than the opinions of the author, and it offers no reason why a careful reader would consider those opinions. Any woman (and I have several daughters) who would subscribe to the thesis of this book is an admitted victim, and this book panders to her victimhood. The scant endnotes cite no respectable journals or research no, the author's authorities are lyrics to songs, poetry, and similar literature he uses as inkblot upon which to project his own prejudices and conflicts. It is the same old baseless feminist propaganda...a rant against the imagined demons of patriarchy. It requires that women abdicate their responsibility for themselves and conform to some stereotypic weak victim. It would offend the likes of Mary Wolstonecraft (The Pernicious Effects Arising from Unnatural Distinctions in Society), and it is not what I would have in mind for my daughters nor is it consistent with what they have become, thankfully.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2006

    Stepford Wives in reverse..

    You categorize men as club dragging Neolithic misfits, while insulting women as needy, weak, and gutless. Then you expect men to abandon masculinity and become, 'yes dear' mates, as women proceed to gain and enforce empowerment. Then, raising the bar every time the poor guy reaches expectations. I believe a successful relationship is a two way street. A give and take, yin and yang situation. You missed the boat on this one. I predict your marriage will end within four years, as well as other relationships that read your book and take your idealistic one-sided advice.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 6, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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