Customer Reviews for

Living With the Passive-Aggressive Man

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

IF DR. WETZLER HAD WRITTEN THIS BOOK 20 YRS. EARLIER, I WOULD HAVE ENDED MY MARRIAGE AT YR. 2 INSTEAD OF YEAR 20

Every woman who has ever felt confused, misled, dominated, or manipulated by her date, fiance, or husband MUST read this book. Dr. Wetzler seals the deal (to marry or not to marry)by informing the reader of classic manipulative techniques that passive aggressive men use...
Every woman who has ever felt confused, misled, dominated, or manipulated by her date, fiance, or husband MUST read this book. Dr. Wetzler seals the deal (to marry or not to marry)by informing the reader of classic manipulative techniques that passive aggressive men use. My copy is highlighted and dog-eared. I've bought it for at least 5 women who thanked me ceaselessly. Dr. Wetzler gives instructions on "how to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the "P-A"---this I did without even knowing they were destructive roles (to me). This Ph.D. provides credible research and case studies. Page one begins with teaching what this man is like and moves forward into topics that include sex, family and parenting with a "P-A Man". The author gave such vivid examples of passive aggressive behavior I wrote in the margin once, "Author must have lived in our house!"I thought I was doing the right thing. After all, I was trying to save a marriage, how wrong could that be since the whole world viewed my ex as the quintessential 'nice guy'. But behind closed doors.....

I didn't find this book until after my divorce from 20 years of passive aggresive treatment. Dr. Wetzler helped me heal myself and understand all his 'tricks' so I'd never fall for them again with anyone, man or woman.

posted by BarbaraR on July 14, 2009

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

of limited use

Living with the Passive Aggressive Man is extremely useful in giving a name to specific behaviors, and will indeed let the reader know if she is involved with a man who has passive aggressive tendencies. However, it doesn't address passive aggression as abuse to any ext...
Living with the Passive Aggressive Man is extremely useful in giving a name to specific behaviors, and will indeed let the reader know if she is involved with a man who has passive aggressive tendencies. However, it doesn't address passive aggression as abuse to any extent. In fact, it could encourage the reader to stay with an abusive passive aggressive partner and endure more emotional damage. The book also gives a lot of information on how the partner of the passive aggressive person can change their behavior. However, the problem is not the behavior of the partner, it's the behavior of the passive aggressive person.

posted by Anonymous on July 4, 2005

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  • Posted July 19, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    A Good Start...

    I learned tons from this book. I felt relieved to know that I wasn't crazy when my co-worker would pull aggravating stuff mentioned in this book. I used to get so emotionally wrapped up in the mixed messages. Now that I know what motivates them I don't take it personally and have moved on to some extent. I did feel this book focused too much on appeasing the passive aggressive man, which doesn't really accomplish anything. From my experience it might be a rough ride confronting them, but it will make things better in the long run.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 11, 2004

    don't forget...men live with passive aggressive women too!

    an excellent read. Concise, accurate, revealing to the spouse of a passive aggressive partner, who continuously seeks to make things work, but never seems able. Most importantly, the realization that it is not my fault, not even our fault...the reality is, it is your fault, or at least your issue. The passive aggressive partner seems very much like the alcoholic partner. The title implies, however, that this arrangement only exists when the husband is passive aggressive and the wife is the victim...take it from me, it can happen the other way around. Still not quite clear how my spouse got to where she is, nor how to help remedy the problem...it is unlikely she'll go for therapy; setting boundaries is apparently a necessary evil in terms of making these relationships work...seems odd to base a marriage on setting boundaries, but it is what it is. A must read. Uplifting yet depressing at the same time. Again,many parallels to living with an alcoholic, or so it seems.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2000

    I Thought it Was Me!

    I didn't know just what P/A behavior was - until I read this book. The author lays out descriptive example after example of this behavior with such clarity I almost believed he intimately knew the person with whom I was dealing. It was simultaneously eye-opening and validating. I highy recommend it. I was somewhat disappointed that there were not more suggestions or examples of how to deal with this type of person. Is there a way for the P/A person to unlearn his behavior and learn to trust?

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 26, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 14, 2008

    No text was provided for this review.

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