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Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

A Must Read for Relationships!

This book has helped me tremendously! Not only has it helped me understand my husband/men's needs, but it has helped me understand what the Bible means in Ephesians 5:33 (NIV) "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respe...
This book has helped me tremendously! Not only has it helped me understand my husband/men's needs, but it has helped me understand what the Bible means in Ephesians 5:33 (NIV) "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." I never understood it.I always thought it was a referring to sexism, but it's not!

Unfortunately, it has taken me 10 years to "get it." As my husband and I are separated, this book is helping me see things from his perspective, and it has been life changing. It's better than counseling. I recommend it for everyone!

posted by dinorahls on August 21, 2009

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Most Helpful Critical Review

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Love and Respect

Love and Respect, Dr Emerson Eggerichs

This is not a book that I would normally choose to read, but as I am part of the booksneeze scheme, I decided to take the opportunity to read something that I wouldn't normally read.

Dr Eggerichs takes as his starting point E...
Love and Respect, Dr Emerson Eggerichs

This is not a book that I would normally choose to read, but as I am part of the booksneeze scheme, I decided to take the opportunity to read something that I wouldn't normally read.

Dr Eggerichs takes as his starting point Ephesians 5:33 and throughout the book unravels this verse, discussing that unconditional love is the thing that wives most desire, and that unconditional respect is the thing that husbands most need. He explores this concept through the illustrations of the 'Crazy Cycle', the 'Energizing Cycle' and the 'Rewarded Cycle'. These concepts are unravelled and explained in really clear ways and illustrated with examples from his own life as well as being full with excerpts from letters that people from the 'love and respect' conferences have sent him, the conferences being made up of the same information that is in the book.

I found the book easy to read, but I would say that I felt that his points were laboured a bit too much and there were maybe too many excerpts from letters, but all in all a brilliant book, and definitely one for me to put away for the future!

Thomas Nelson Publishing provided me with a complimentary copy of this book to review. I was not required to write a positive review.

posted by littlemisspurple on February 21, 2011

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  • Posted September 12, 2012

    Dr. Eggerich's approach to solving the complex issues withi

    Dr. Eggerich's approach to solving the complex issues within a relationship is "black & white". All women (pink) and all men (blue) are cast into two distinct categories, where there's no room for shades of grey. Although many generalizations can be made about both sexes, humans are much more complex than just a desire for love (women) and a need for respect (men). Additionally, in an age where gender roles cross previously defined boundaries, the book assumes that men are the protectors and providers, hence their need for respect, and women are the caregivers and nurturers, hence their need for love.
    While I definitely agree that love & respect are essential in any relationship, not all men and women are the same, and I believe that needs & desires are subjective and cannot be objectified. Dr. Eggerich writes "...we all see things out of our own needs and perceptions" (subjectively), yet goes on to write that we all (objectively) fall into 2 categories and that the greatest need of ALL men and ALL women is the same.
    The book also seems (perhaps unintentionally) to put a heavier burden on women than on men. It urges women to show unconditional respect towards their man, despite the circumstances. Most of the "healed" relationship stories we find wthin the book are of women who learned to respect the man, leading the man to show a greater love and appreciation towards the woman.
    Dr. Eggerich bases his entire, oversimplified argument on one verse in the Bible, and backs it up with one scientific study conducted with only 2,000 couples. Obviously, he includes success stories to further support his theory, but any relationship book out there has numerous success stories. Certain approaches work for certain people, and other approaches work for other people, or as Dr. Eggerich writes, "...we all see things out of our own needs and perceptions."

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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