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Posted July 29, 2011
Wonderful Resource for Newlyweds, those married for years, and those engaged to be married...
"Marriage is fabulously hard." That's one of the first statements that John & Stasi Eldredge make about marriage, and they just get more real from there. They don't sugarcoat things in Love & War, they tell it like it is, and it's not easy.
Throughout the book they discuss their own marriage, with honesty and openness that is both refreshing and endearing. You see their own brokenness and heartache, and read how they have worked to keep it together. They talk about how they each contributed to that, how their own individual issues, if you will, contributed to the issues in their marriage, and how they both worked to save what is so dear to them.
I have to admit that I had a hard time getting into this book, but once I did it really registered. Whether you are having problems in your marriage or if you are newlyweds who think you never will, this book is for you. If you are engaged and preparing for marriage, this book is for you. Love & War is a true, open, honest look at what marriage is and how it really works. It's not sugarcoated and full of platitudes about how much we have to work but if we do it will be smooth sailing. They are honest that it takes work, and work, and even then work some more. But something beautiful is there, and you can find it, with work.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group through the Blogging for Books program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
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Posted August 13, 2011
Marriage as a Love Story in the Midst of War
Few people have blessed Christians by their words of what it means to be a man or woman of God than authors John and Stasi Eldredge. John, author of Wild at Heart, and Stasi, author of Captivating, team up in their latest book, Love & War, to discuss the realities of Christian marriage and to offer truths they have discovered through their twenty-five years of marriage. Their primary goal is to assure the reader that marriage is indeed difficult but that it is always worth fighting for. For it is when Christian couples dedicate themselves and their marriages to God that they will truly learn to love themselves, their spouse, and others as God intended them to love. A primary theme appears several times throughout the book: "We live in a love story that is set in the midst of a very real war." The love story is twofold; not only does the Bible begin with the marriage of Adam and Eve in Eden and end with the marriage of Christ in Revelation to his bride, the church, but the love story also includes us in that God is at his very essence love (1 John 4:16), that he demonstrated his love for us through his offering of his Son, Jesus Christ, and our greatest commands in the Bible revolve around the idea of love (Luke 10:27, among others). Though the enemy attempts to infiltrate our marriages, God ultimately fulfills his purposes. As a part of a love story in the midst of war, John and Stasi argue that God created marriage to be a "living, breathing portrait laid out before the eyes of the world so that they might see the story of the ages." That is, God uses marriage as "the image of his love for his people, and our love for him." One of the most profound moments I experienced while reading this book was allowing this truth to sink in, to recognize that God gives marriage such an important evangelistic role (and humbly acknowledging that I had not fully appreciated it before). Moreover, I was most moved by a section explaining how God utilizes marriage not only for evangelistic purposes, but to transform those who are married. John and Stasi write: "God lures us into marriage through life and sex and loneliness, or simply the fact that someone finally paid attention - all those reasons that you got married in the first place. It doesn't really matter, he'll do whatever it takes. He lures us into marriage and then uses it to transform us." Though we may enter marriage for any number of reasons (as noble as they might seem), God will use marriage to reveal to us our brokenness and cause us to rely more on him. Overall, John and Stasi Eldredge encourage their readers to reflect upon their marriages and to prayerfully consider the issues contained in the book with their spouse rather than relying on the ever-so-popular "follow these simple steps and experience everlasting joy now" approach. John and Stasi are extremely honest in this book, sharing many stories from their own marriage (both highs and lows). Love & War is an excellent book for couples to read together to consider their own patterns of living, the way they relate to their spouse, the way they interpret their spouse's actions, the way they think about spiritual warfare, and how they can better meet the needs of their spouse - all while seeking the Lord's will together through their marriage.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted July 19, 2011
Posted June 28, 2011
Every couple needs to read this!
Having read and loved Captivating by Stasi Eldredge last year, I had high expectations for Love and War, and it did not disappoint. This book should be required reading for every married couple. honestly, it's that good.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
The Eldredges start by acknowledging that marriage is fabulously hard, and yet we often treat it as we do our health. doing the bare minimum to get by and hoping for the best.
They explain that marriage is a love story set within a war. This war, with the devil, the world and our flesh, is worth fighting. It's a fight for each other, not against, as we often let it become.
Sadly, I've known several couples who have divorced because 'they just don't make each other happy anymore.' It's hard work to keep your spouse happy, right? Well, guess what? It can't be done. The Eldredges use scripture to show how the unending love of Christ is what we long for. Once we remove the expectation that our spouse is the source of our happiness, the marriage can be filled with joy.
John and Stasi openly share their relationship, the ups and downs, modeling how to deal with brokenness and spiritual attacks. Their short personal stories are refreshingly honest. I appreciate how John and Stasi shared their individual perspectives on various experiences.
For me, there were many 'ah-hah' moments throughout the book. In fact, my copy is covered in sticky notes marking points I want to reread again soon. I highly recommend this book to every married couple.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Waterbrook Publishers. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
Posted May 28, 2011
Motivating - the Battle toward Something Beautiful
If you are married and ever felt any truth to the idea that "marriage is a submarine with Cinderella and Huck Finn shut inside," then the book Love and War: Finding Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage is for you. This is not your typical marriage book. With frankness and inclusion of many difficulties they have faced, John and Stasi Eldredge speak from their 25 years of marriage to each other of the things that they are just beginning to understand. The battle that strives to tear apart a marriage is real, and we can draw up our swords in a united front to turn our marriage into something beautiful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Marriage is hard work, and when two broken people join together, as soon as they say "I do", the pieces gradually start coming to the surface. We are not to ignore them, but deal with them, and the Eldredges show us how without using clichés. They also explain how marriage goes through ebbs and flows, and if you think a marriage always has to be happy, then you will turn a simply low season into something worse. We are to allow for the ebbs and flows by checking in with God, and they provide practical advice on how to get through these times with God at the center. Without glossing over the issue of sex, they also explain that sex is the barometer of a marriage, and they attack the issues that lead to difficulties in a straight-forward manner. At the end of book, they provide a series of prayers as a resource that can be prayed together as a couple to bring health and restoration to marriage and maintain it.
Even though I was convicted, the Eldredges didn't make me feel guilty for not being good enough or more discontent with how my marriage is, like some marriage books do. In fact, while I found myself thinking, "wow, I'm glad my marriage isn't THAT bad," I also gave further evaluation to some areas I had not considered previously. I feel motivated to not always fall into the easiest way of doing things and driven to make my marriage even better.
This book is great for any married couple, especially those you have at least a few years under their belt and as well as those with many. Even if you feel like your marriage is good, this book will help you appreciate it even more by sharpening your perspective on the purpose and beauty of marriage.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group in exchange for this review. The opinions I have expressed herein are my own.
Posted February 28, 2011
Finally, a real world Christian look at marriage between fallen people! thank you for the many eye opening truths penned within! A must read for any marriage, troubled or not.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 16, 2010
Keep your marriage flourishing!
The Love and War Devotional for Couples book by John and Stasi Eldredge is a wonderful resource and daily study to share along side with your spouse. My husband and I jumped into this book right away and have really been enjoying growing closer to Christ and each other from reading it and applying it to our lives daily! We've even been deeply touched enough and decided on sharing this book with our small church group. It's a great conversation starter in discussing what we've been learning about our spouses, ourselves, and our personal walks with Christ.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
This devotional book isn't very big and it doesn't have to be. It's broken into eight weeks worth of studies with five devotions to read each week. Each devotion is only a page or two long. It's perfect to discuss and read along side your spouse. Being a parent of young children or if you and your spouse have very busy schedules it can be hard to find time to read let alone do anything along side your spouse without interruption so I really have been enjoying the consideration of not making each daily devotional too big. If it honestly was any bigger it could be overwhelming and discouraging to keep up with and I am so glad that's not the case with this book.
Each devotion begins and ends with scripture and there is also a prayer meant to pray alongside your spouse. At the end of the 5th day of the week devotion there is a exercise that pertains to what you read all week that pertains specifically toward you and your spouse. The exercise is awesome and you'll probably learn a thing or two or just be reminded about certain likes, traits, and just overall more about your spouse and your relationship together.
I highly recommend this book and feel that whether you are newly married or have been married for quite sometime that Love and War Devotional for Couples would be a great resource and study to keep your marriage flourishing.
Disclaimer: WaterBrook/Multnomah Publishers provided me with this book free of charge for review.
Posted December 8, 2010
Great book by great authors
This book caught my eye for one simple reason, I love the writings of John and Stasi. They write in such a way that it makes you feel like you are talking to friends instead of reading a book. They also write in a very blunt style sometimes that I like. It's not sugar coated. "Love and War" starts out like that. In the first three devotionals they mentioned every time that marriage is hard. And it is.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
I wasn't able to finish the whole book in time to get this review done but what I did read is fantastic. It's a way to sit down with your spouse every day and get insight into what the other is thinking and feeling. There is a prayer every day and a scripture verse that goes along with what they are talking about for the day.
I highly recommend this book for married or engaged couples. It's only 8 weeks and it won't take up much of your day. It's a great way to make sure that you have time for your spouse and God every day.
Posted May 6, 2010
I love this book and being able to find it so easily makes it even more enjoyable.
I can always count on Barnes and Noble to have exactly what I am looking for and always at a competitive price. I am always looking for the best deal and when it comes to dependability and trustworthyness, I rely on Barnes and Noble. My order was shipped to me quickly and the book came in perfect condition. Thank you Barnes and Noble, keep up the great work!
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Posted March 27, 2010
Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge
Love and War is a story of getting the most out of a marriage. What makes this book so good is that the authors use their own personal testimonies for this journey.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Another aspect that makes this such a good read is that the truth found in these pages can be easliy applied to realtionships apart from marriage. I'm in the early stages of building a relationship with a lady that has absolutely captivated me and captured my heart. A lot of John and Stasi's story helps me understand some of what I'm going through to understand my love interest.
The Lord has used their experiences to speak strongly to what He's doing in my life with me and my lady friend.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone seriously considering a love relationship with their special someone.
Posted February 13, 2010
Great Book, A must read for everyone married or single
John & Staci have written a book on marriage using a little different view than most self help books on marriage. It is a book that I think helps you to understand yourself and why you do or react to things in your marriage, When you realize why you are reacting in certain ways it helps you to understand your spouses reactions as well.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 12, 2010
This book can change your marriage and your life!
When I received an offer to review Love and War, my first impression was that it was a rather harsh title for a book about marriage. As I read it, I began to discover what the authors meant by that title. The foundation of this book is that "marriage is hard" but that "loving costs everything but loving is ALWAYS worth it."Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
What did I like the most about this book? The clear and honest discussion of how God views marriage and what the Bible has to say about marriage. I also appreciated the authors honesty about the ups and downs of their own marriage through the years and the basic step by step insight on how to achieve a joyful and deeply loving marriage.
This was a really insightful book and I am so glad I had the chance to read it. This book isn't only for those that are having marriage troubles but it's also for anyone wishing to find the joy and heart of marriage as God intended marriage to be.
Many thanks to WaterBrook Multnomah for providing me with this book to review!
Love & War - Could Change Your Life...
Love And War may just be the best book on marriage I've ever read. I'm going to be honest. I sat down thinking I would breeze through the book in an hour having "heard all this before". I could write my review and be done with it. I wasn't expecting this book to grab me from the very first page and hook me for 3 non-stop hours of reading. Love And War is practical. It begins with the precaution that every marriage is never complete without God. John and Stasi go as far as to say that marriage cannot function that way it is intended to without God and that they could not write a book about marriage without coming at it from the perspective of a relationship with God.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
John and Stasi dive into their own lives to offer advice and guidance to new and old married couples. They describe the little things in life and how nothing of significance should ever be done as a family without joint prayer and agreement from the husband and wife. They set and amazing example and write with courage and passion. I'm hoping to go through it again with my wife Kristin. Very soon.
What the Eldredge bestsellers Wild at Heart did for men, and Captivating did for women, Love & War will do for married couples everywhere. John and Stasi Eldredge have contributed the quintessential works on Christian spirituality through the experience of men and the experience of women and now they turn their focus to the incredible dynamic between those two forces.
With refreshing openness that will grab readers from the first page, the Eldredges candidly discuss their own marriage and the insights they've gained from the challenges they faced. Each talks independently to the reader about what they've learned, giving their guidance personal immediacy and a balance between the male and female perspectives that has been absent from all previous books on this topic. They begin Love & War with an obvious but necessary acknowledgement: Marriage is fabulously hard. They advise that the sooner we get the shame and confusion off our backs, the sooner we'll find our way through.
Love & War is a must read for any couple desiring to come together with common mission and make their marriage the best it can be for the Kingdom.
Purchase A Copy Of Love & War Here!
This was book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah.
The official review can be found here: http://thecommoncup.tumblr.com/post/385977245/love-war-by-john-stasi-eldredge-a-book-review
Posted February 12, 2010
Must read marriage guide for Christian couples
Love and War by John & Stasi Eldredge is a must read help for marriage from the authors of Wild at Heart and Captivating. The Eldredges use God's love for his people and Christ's marriage to the church as their guide for how successful marriage should work. It's too easy for each spouse to live only for themselves and fulfill the need to always be right, but that's why the divorce rate is so high in this country. They are emphatic in their belief that no marriage is a mistake; God has guided each one in order to shape us. That's a difficult concept for those who have been divorced, but they provide evidence through Scripture and anecdote. God has put couples together not only so they can work together, but more to shave off the rough edges, to make us better people. The book has some powerful advice and assignments for couples to work through their troubles. Love and War wasn't always an easy read; it will convict readers of hardheartedness, refusing to forgive, and bitterness, but the authors encourage readers to keep loving and praying through it. It will help troubled marriages and strengthen healthy ones. This book has earned a permanent place on my bookshelf.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 11, 2010
Love & War Blog Tour
I was given the opportunity to review John and Stasi Eldredge's new book Love & War. John is the author of many great books The Sacred Romance, Wild at Heart and Waking the Dead. He and Stasi also co-authored the book Captivating and so when I was given this opportunity I knew I had to jump on it.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
This book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah.
In classic John Eldredge form, he pairs his poetic style with the thoughts and views of his wife to put together a fantastic book about love and marriage. There are definitely times when he sounds like the counselor and other times they bring the fruit of the counseling they have been through to apply to your life.
One aspect they deal heavily with throughout the book is the spiritual warfare that believing couples face. To be honest spiritual warfare is not something I often think about confronting in marriage. The Eldredge's have an acute awareness of the warfare that couples face and help arm them with prayers and strategies to overcome these difficult situations. These attacks span from the "wounds" we have incurred throughout our life as well as other areas of weakness that may develop in our relationships.
Probably the best feature of the book is the Eldredge's honesty. They are not afraid to open up their own closets to allow the lessons they have learned benefit those coming behind them. From dealing with settling for the easy peace instead of the fighting for the greater good, they challenge couples to bring out the best in each other as well as in their relationship. Their candid discussion of sex and how we relate to each other calls married couples up into a greater romance a greater story.
The common themes of our woundedness, the battle to fight, the adventure and the beauty to rescue for men, and the woundedness, someone to fight for her, adventure to share and beauty to offer for women. If you have read any of Eldredge's other works you will see how these common themes play into your marriage and relationships.
Our love story is set in a time of war and the life we want is worth fighting for. If you want a book to read with your spouse, fiancé or significant other that will lay a foundation for a better future and give you plenty of things to talk. I would most definitely recommend Love & War to anyone.
When I opened this book and began reading it, my first thoughts were, "Wow! They are writing about my marriage." Sometimes we feel so alone in our marriages. We look around wondering if we are the only ones who struggle with loving our spouse or even simply liking them. In their book "Love and War" John and Stasi Eldredge, disclose their own struggles in marriage helping their readers realize that marriage is hard, "fabulously hard", but with God as the foundational center and sole focus, marriage can be done and done well.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Having been in a marriage that was headed for divorce, the thing I appreciate most about this book is the fact that the Elderedge's reiterate time and time again that one's happiness is not wrapped up in what their spouse can give them, but rather what God provides for them. God is the only one who can meet every need, fill every hole, and heal every wound. And, God is the only one who can fill our hearts with true love for our spouse.
"We live in a love story, set in the midst of war." A war that requires us to fight for our marriages and fight hard. A war that requires you and I to step out of the picture and allow God to work; to work in our hearts, so that we are able to love hard.
Posted February 10, 2010
Love and War
When offered the chance to review John and Stasi Eldredge's new book, "Love and War", (by Multnomah) I eagerly accepted. I was not disappointed in any way.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
This book offers so much wisdom, insight, encouragement, and even correction for married couples today. I love the fact that it was written by a husband and wife "team". Because of this style of addressing marriage, we see both partners' points of view.
I laughed, I cried, I prayed. The authors guide us into accepting two central truths: first, we each come into our marriage with past hurts, failures, and brokenness; and second, no one can heal that brokenness but God.
This treasure is a must read, but I would encourage readers to pick up a copy of "The Sacred Romance" by Eldredge and Curtis as well. "Love and War" touches on many truths that are expounded upon in this previously written book. Having read "Romance" first gave me a clearer understanding of those truths, and I was able to see how they affected and applied to my marriage more readily than I might have otherwise.
author of "Second Chance"
Such a marriage-changing book!
My husband and I are in our first year of marriage and read through this book together. We've read several other marriage books and even did pre-marital counseling. Although I still believe in the value of those other resources, John and Stasi Eldredges' book really got to the heart of what will ultimately determine the success of our marriage: our attitude toward our spouse in light of God's love and mercy for us. I've always known that the actions we choose will eventually affect the actions of others, but this book made that message so real to me. Most importantly, John and Stasi discuss how it can be hard to choose to really love because it opens us up to the possibilities of great hurt, as well as great joy. Learning to love with abandon will always be a challenge for all of us with past hurts and fears but, as this book claims again and again, a lasting, joy-filled marriage IS possible and it IS worth it.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 12, 2010
A doubter believes
I am a very young woman (eighteen years old) who loved "Captivating" (completely spoke to my heart) and who has never thought the same way about men since reading "Wild at Heart". I have said since around the age of twelve that I never want to get married, nor do I believe in marriage (a whole other topic). Recently, God has softened my heart and thoughts to certain things- and I believe that He absolutely lead me to this powerful book. After reading I am left with a sense of "Oh!!! So THAT is what a marriage is SUPPOSED to be! One where both of the people's highest priority is thier relationship with God." I have seen, actually witnessed, two Christ centered marriages in my life, everything else looks pretty sad and nothing I'd want to be apart of. So this book was eye opening. I also deeply appreciate how open they are with thier lives. They admit things that would be extremely difficult to admit for all people. Stasi is SUCH a STRONG woman of God- He is using her so much to help countless women. This is a great book for a newly engaged couple, a married couple, or really anyone at all! :)Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 10, 2010
Hope that's accessible!
A marriage that bears the signature of God's heart is an incredible gift, and it is worth fighting for.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
In their book, Love and War, John and Stasi Eldredge walk the reader into the larger story that God has for us in marriage. With wisdom and transparency, they encourage the reader with the heart of Scripture and the stories of life. This is a book of hope that draws us to step out of the small stories and battles that often fill our lives, and into the more that God has for us in marriage.
Don't expect tips and techniques in this book that make it seem up to us to "do it right". Expect instead the courage to step into the larger, wonderful story of hope and love; expect also a call to be authentic with your heart and your life. From that place, God's love is compelling and can bring deep healing and new life.
The hope that is found in this book is not only for those who have lost hope in their marriage, though it is for them. It's also for those whose marriages are strong and for those who are just beginning on the journey. Perhaps also for those not yet married, because what this book does is to let us see and know more of God's heart of love for us all.
Don't miss this book, and after you've read it, don't hold onto it. Give it away -- everywhere you can. 20 years in ministry/23 years in marriage and I say "It's time" for this book and the access to life it brings.