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Love the One You're With

Average Rating 4
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

Love the One You're With

The bottom line is that love, and the work it takes to make a committed relationship succeed, is a very messy process, one that many of us like to gloss over in hindsight. This book doesn't do that and I would argue that it's one of the most truthful depictions of that ...
The bottom line is that love, and the work it takes to make a committed relationship succeed, is a very messy process, one that many of us like to gloss over in hindsight. This book doesn't do that and I would argue that it's one of the most truthful depictions of that proces I've read in a long time. After I finished the final page, I was left wondering if the relationship that remained at the end of the book worked out in the long run. I am guessing that's the quesiton the author wanted to leave us to ponder. I found this book a bit difficult at first because the narrator seemed, I don't know, spineless in a way. How easily she acquiesced to her ex-boyfriend's proposal of being "friends," how she couldn't conjure up anger at what he did to her in the past, etc. This didn't seem particularly promising since the entire book is told from this woman's (seemingly) weak perspective. There is never a "repeat" when it comes to love stories. Even though the drama may have happened once or twice before (girl meets man, girl loves man, girl meets new man, girl loves new man, girl loves both men, girl has to choose) the storytelling that surrounds the drama is what makes a book good or not.
Ms Giffin is talented in that she makes me care for her characters. Even though I want to strangle them for some of their decisions, I still care about them and really just want them to be happy in the end. This book keeps your interest pretty much the whole time. It is very relatable. I've read all of Emily Giffin's book and I love them all.

posted by readtolive_livetoread on September 26, 2009

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Most Helpful Critical Review

12 out of 21 people found this review helpful.

Not my Favorite

I loved Emily Giffin's previous works. I found the charactors funny, likeable, and relatable. However, I was completely sick of Ellen about a third of the way in. I read this book in just two days, but not because I couldn't put it down. It was because I just wanted it ...
I loved Emily Giffin's previous works. I found the charactors funny, likeable, and relatable. However, I was completely sick of Ellen about a third of the way in. I read this book in just two days, but not because I couldn't put it down. It was because I just wanted it to be over. I didn't find Ellen funny or endearing, and quiet frankly, I thought she was a selfish person. Yes, we all have to make decisions in life, but she should have explored these feelings before she got married, not after. It was very tough to emphasize with her self destructive, immature behavior. I didn't find this book suspensful at all, just annoying.

posted by 1456318 on June 11, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 11, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Not my Favorite

    I loved Emily Giffin's previous works. I found the charactors funny, likeable, and relatable. However, I was completely sick of Ellen about a third of the way in. I read this book in just two days, but not because I couldn't put it down. It was because I just wanted it to be over. I didn't find Ellen funny or endearing, and quiet frankly, I thought she was a selfish person. Yes, we all have to make decisions in life, but she should have explored these feelings before she got married, not after. It was very tough to emphasize with her self destructive, immature behavior. I didn't find this book suspensful at all, just annoying.

    12 out of 21 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 26, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Love the One You're With

    The bottom line is that love, and the work it takes to make a committed relationship succeed, is a very messy process, one that many of us like to gloss over in hindsight. This book doesn't do that and I would argue that it's one of the most truthful depictions of that proces I've read in a long time. After I finished the final page, I was left wondering if the relationship that remained at the end of the book worked out in the long run. I am guessing that's the quesiton the author wanted to leave us to ponder. I found this book a bit difficult at first because the narrator seemed, I don't know, spineless in a way. How easily she acquiesced to her ex-boyfriend's proposal of being "friends," how she couldn't conjure up anger at what he did to her in the past, etc. This didn't seem particularly promising since the entire book is told from this woman's (seemingly) weak perspective. There is never a "repeat" when it comes to love stories. Even though the drama may have happened once or twice before (girl meets man, girl loves man, girl meets new man, girl loves new man, girl loves both men, girl has to choose) the storytelling that surrounds the drama is what makes a book good or not.
    Ms Giffin is talented in that she makes me care for her characters. Even though I want to strangle them for some of their decisions, I still care about them and really just want them to be happy in the end. This book keeps your interest pretty much the whole time. It is very relatable. I've read all of Emily Giffin's book and I love them all.

    9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 19, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Not what I was expecting.

    Not my favorite book ever. But I liked the overall theme. It is not as enjoyable as Something Borrowed and Something Blue. I really didn't like all of the flashbacks because it seemed like it was draging on forever. I didn't really like the main character in this book, she was very annoying at times. This book gets quite boring at times, I couldn't wait for it to end.

    6 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 29, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    So worth your time!

    On the surface, Ellen Graham appears to have the perfect life. She has a successful career as a photographer and is married to Andy, an attorney, a good guy.
    Newly married, she runs into a seriously passionate ex who left her years before, an encounter that causes her to question everything she's done since. This is a story that takes place primarily in Ellen's head as she struggles to figure out whether the choices she made were the right ones even as she crosses all sorts of moral lines. But within that storyline, Giffin constructs something smart, thoughtful and relatable. You can only imagine the trouble this could cause! Happy reading! So worth your time!

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 3, 2009

    Tolerable, but doesn't compare to Something Borrowed/Something Blue

    This book wasn't bad, it just wasn't as good as Something Borrowed and Something Blue. The biggest problem I had with it was the lack of character development. All of the characters, including the narrator, were one-dimensional stereotypes. There wasn't one character that I really cared about, identified with, or felt like I "knew". I couldn't even envision what they looked like. The narrator, Ellen, isn't particularly interesting or likable, and that's a big problem.

    I got the impression that we are supposed to sympathize with Ellen, sort of like we sympathized with Darcy in Soemthing Blue. But unlike Darcy, Ellen doesn't have the personality, the character developemnt, or the appealing quirkiness to make us understand or care about her. She just comes across as an ungrateful b*tch who doesn't deserve the loving, wonderful husband that she has. The extent of her inexplicable obsession with her assh*le ex boyfriend (who is basically "Marcus" from Something Borrowed and Something Blue, but with a different name) was never really explained to my satisfaction, nor was there a compelling argument made for why "what they had" (which was basically an emotionally abusive and unsatisfying relationship based purely on sex) was worth risking her marriage for.

    The one good thing about this book is the character of Margot. I would like to see a book from her point of view, focusing on Margot, her husband, and their new baby but also touching on her friendship with Ellen and her feelings about Ellen cheating on her brother.

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 27, 2009

    Not her best work

    I was disappointed in this book after reading Something Borrowed and Something Blue, both of which we page turners. I was interested enough to hang in there to see how it turned out, but there were a couple times I had to make myself keep going.

    3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 14, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Absolutely Loved It!!

    I really enjoyed reading this book. It was very romantic at times. You can't help but understand what the main character is going through. It was intriguing the whole way through. Finished it in less than a week! If you liked her other books, you'll definately love this one!!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 28, 2012

    Great Summer Read

    LOVE Emily Giffin. I have taken all her books to the beach this summer and have fallen in love with all the characters. Awesome, easy reads.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 12, 2012

    Great book!

    Just lile all the rest of Giffin's books.. amazing!!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 24, 2010

    Didn't love this book. Heroin trys to throw good life away for a bad relationship. Ellen was immature and still stuck in the bad boy syndrome at 31. Who at 31 really wants to go from a partnership back to a hero worship one where she is second rate?

    Leo is a taker and her husband is supporting partner. I never have loved characters that have extreme hero worship for a man. Ellen is fixated on a man that essentialy was bad for her emotionaly and professionaly. I just didn't like this book as much as other of her books.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 10, 2010

    Love the one you are with - or not

    This was one of the hardest books to read initially since it was tough to feel any sort of bond with Ellen, but in the end I wasn't as disheartened by the story as I thought I would be. You always want life to have a happy ending with everything tied up in a neat bow. This book makes you think about the would ofs and could ofs if life had only played out a little differently. Unfortunately I think part of that has to do with the key player making her decisions and the repurcussions that they have later in life. A decent book in the end but not a great one in my opinion.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 17, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Something Loved

    I loved this book, just like I loved all of her other books. I like the style of writing. I like how the story could have happened to someone.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 19, 2008

    A fabulous read you won't want to put down!

    In Emily Giffin's fourth novel, LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH, Ellen has a wonderful life with her husband Andy. She has a successful career as a photographer and she truly believes her life to be perfect. But after a chance encounter with her ex, Leo, Ellen's life goes into a tail spin. For Ellen, Leo was 'the one who got away,' and his reappearance in her life makes Ellen question everything about the life she's chosen. What makes LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH stand out for me is the writing. Emily's writing never disappoints-- she has a way of infusing so much feeling into every scene. She's not afraid to make her characters unlikeable and is able to make her readers fall in love with them, despite their flaws or bad decisions. Most of all, this book will make you think about your life and the decisions that you've made. I read LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH in two days (okay, so I've read *all* of Emily's novels in two days!). Whether you like Ellen or not, whether you respect her choices or begin yelling at the book because of what she's done, you'll find this book to be utterly un-put-downable.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 31, 2008

    What if...

    Ellen Graham is happy. She's newly married to Andy, a successful photographer and has the love and support of her family. She doesn't question her life or the choices she has made that led her to her current life. That is until, one brief moment, she sees Leo. Just like that her past becomes an unwelcoming invasion in the present. Ellen quickly finds herself at a crossroad. The 'what if' question quickly turns into an obsession as she finds herself constantly comparing her life with Andy to what she think life would be like with Leo. Despite the warnings her head tells her about starting a friendship with Leo, she accepts a photography assignment that he set up for her. Agreeing to the shoot, will force her to finally make a decision about her marriage and the woman she really is. I really liked this book. I have to admit, I put off reading it because so many people told me how disappointed they were with it because it wasn't as good as Something Borrowed and Something Blue. I have to say, I disagree. The reason I liked Ms. Giffin's early novels was it seemed as though the characters were telling me their stories instead of me reading them. This is how I felt while reading this book. I pictured Ellen and I catching up, over a long lunch, after not seeing each other for awhile and she wanted to inform me about her life. Ms. Giffin is very descriptive in her writing, which I thought only added to the richness of this novel. It is quite easy to judge Ellen and wonder why she makes the decisions she does. To her, it makes sense. She needed to confirm she made the right choice. She needed to move on. Love the One You're With is about walking down the path of 'what if' when it unexpectedly comes your way, however, it's also about feeling secure that the decisions you made in the past were the best decisions for you.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 4, 2013

    Anonymous

    This book was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 18, 2013

    Awesome read!

    This book makes you value and appreciate the one you're with.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 26, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    I just couldn't love it no matter how hard I tried

    I loved all of Emily Giffen's other novels but I just couldn't love, "Love the One You're With" because of the main character. She came across as shallow and selfish. She just couldn't appreciate the wonderful people who surround her. The story was well written but the story itself was not enjoyable to me. It took me a while to read the book because of how much Ellen irrated me. I was moderately satisfied with the end but felt it took too long for the resolution to come about. It also bothered me that it only took Ellen about two minutes to stop torturing herself and the other's around her. I love this author and look forward to her next novel.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 22, 2014

    Enjoyable read

    Well written and paced. Interesting and well developed main characters with amusing secondary characters. Intriguing storyline that never dulls or bores.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 2, 2013

    Daddybaby@yhaoo.com

    Add me

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 26, 2013

    Great, balanced story line. I read this book twice in a two wee

    Great, balanced story line. I read this book twice in a two week period of time. Each time I read a book, I try and relate a part or portion of my life to it. It helps with really getting into the story and getting to know the author. It's a "worth it" read.

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