Misconceptions: Truth, Lies, and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood

A must read for any mother or mother-to-be in America

I read this book about 10 years after having my first child and I wish with all my heart that it had been available to me during that pregnancy. For those 10 years, whenever I was honest with someone about the horrible childbirth I experienced, I was made to feel that there was something wrong with me. I even had co-workers tell me that I must have failed 'Womanhood 101'. I vowed to never have another child again as the very thought of going through this painful and humiliating process of pregnancy and birth made me panic. I wasn't going to deal again with cold male doctors who mutilated me for the sake of a quick delivery or the feeling of panic at being strapped down to the table, legs spread, with no sympathetic professional to even PRETEND they cared what was happening to me. Based on the experience I had, childbirth felt more like a brutal rape than the beautiful moment I thought it would be. When I read Misconceptions I cried harder than I thought I could every cry at a book. Suddenly after 10 years of feeling like there was something wrong with me - that I was weak, that I was lacking some fundamental aspect of womanhood that should have guided me seamlessly through the childbirth and the months of recovery that followed the mangled 'little cut' that the doctor said would allow the baby to come out more quickly - suddenly I found that other women had been brutalized the same way and that I wasn't alone or weak or somehow lacking. Several reviewers have expressed concern that Naomi Wolfe is bitter about her own first childbirth. Perhaps she is. I know I am. But is the solution to have a nation of women suffering quiet pain over these too common experiences? For the women who complain that this book does not represent their own experiences, congratulations. I wouldn't wish them otherwise. But too many women DO have these negative experiences, and if we can't talk about them and bring them into the light of day then nothing will ever be done and more pain and suffering will be inevitable.

A must read for all women

It's true that this book takes a really hard, honest look at the way the medical establishment and society treats women in pregnancy and birth. It's hard, and it's not surprising doctors don't like it. But the truth often hurts. Clearly, Ms. Wolf has hurt about her experiences but it's amazing that she can share them and also actually LEARN from them. And, in this book, she shows other women how to do the same. The book is an excellent balance of first hand story telling and factual, scientific evidence to support what Ms. Wolf has experienced. The result is a book that virtually any woman can relate to and every woman should read. Ms. Wolf gives excellent sources and you'll be reading her book and then her references for months to come.

Would not recommend this book.

I thought this book was horrible. I read it after the birth of my first son and was absolutely horrified at what I read. If I had read this PRIOR to my giving birth, I would have been scared to death to go into labor. I think the author is very bitter towards her own birthing experience and generalizes it to 'everyone's experience' which I can assure you is NOT the case. I would NOT recommend this book to any expectant mother as the MISinformation in the book would scare the heck out of her.

I never thought it would happen to me

This book is fantastic. I read this book before the birth of my daughter this past January. Because I believed myself to be a highly informed consumer with 10 weeks of Bradley training and having my husband and doula by my side, I never thought I would experience the medicalization that Wolf describes. Sadly, the experiences that she details in MISCONCEPTIONS proved all too accurate when one nurse cornered my husband and attempted to coerce him into having me medicated, while another nurse worked on convincing me to agree to use an epidural. I highly recommend this book to anyone, but especially to expectant parents who want to go through the birthing experience with their eyes open and knowing what to REALLY expect.

A biased and bitter perspective on motherhood

As I read this book, I was struck by the appropriateness of the title "Misconceptions." However, I feel the author Naomi Wolff is the one with the misconceptions... about the medical field, and the experience of pregnancy, labour, delivery, and breastfeeding. I feel qualified to make this criticism, as I am both a female family physician with experience in obstetrical care, and a first-time mother of a healthy 4 month old son. I would not recommend this book to anyone. The author is clearly bitter and resentful about her own experiences during her first pregnany. As a result, she makes broad and inaccurate generalizations about pregnancy and childbirth, and comes across as an angry and selfish individual. Any attempts she makes to share important factual information with the reader are overshadowed by her own bias. Like Ms. Wolff, I too had a C-section delivery of a breech baby. However, my own experience was very different from hers. I enjoyed an excellent and trusting relationship with my physician, and received wonderful care in our small rural hospital. Breastfeeding my son has been an unexpected joy. Certainly there were hard days during pregnancy. Having major abdominal surgery is painful. Caring for an infant is a lot of work. Having a good support system of family and friends, and excellent medical care is of vital importance. In this regard, I agree with Ms. Wolff. However, in every other aspect, the author is bitter, biased, mistrustful, selfish, and often misinformed. In my opinion, this book is terrible, as its bias and bitterness far overshadow its educational value.

A dark but thought-provoking look at how society and the healthcare industry treat pregnancy and motherhood.

This is certainly not your traditional book about pregnancy and motherhood. In fact, one of its purposes is to critically examine what best-selling author Wolf says is lacking in most books available to pregnant women today. Wolf relies on the journal she kept during her first pregnancy as well as conversations with many women who share the trials, pains, and life-altering forces, both good and bad, of pregnancy and new motherhood. She looks at how the role of motherhood is perceived in our society. She also describes how being newly pregnant affects her feminist views, her stance on abortion and her sense of self. Much of the book is an extremely critical review of how the medical community treats women, of what she says is the sterile --- both clinically and emotionally --- hospital setting where epidurals and episiotomies are the norm and compassionate, empowering deliveries are not. She embraces the idea of caring and skilled midwives. She describes old-time methods of allowing women to self-pace their labor, acknowledge and deal with their pain, and find delivery poses and methods that work for individual women and not for the convenience of a health care system. Saying she is not writing a 'Hallmark card,' she details many problems she says other books gloss over: postpartum depression; the loss of liberty that comes with breastfeeding; the way society expects women to unflinchingly sacrifice themselves for the good of their children; the pain and lingering bad feelings of a cesarean birth; and more. For all the bad, Wolf, in the end, holds onto the good. She describes both the challenges and joys of nursing, and shares how she falls in love with her baby: 'Even with the rude lessons in how low my status had become, there was abundant recompense: a love that flayed me with its tenderness. To put my cheek against hers, to be able to still her cries, was a joy and a privilege.' Later, she says: 'It is no dilution of our great love for our children to honor the effort that women make.' What does she say is the answer for pregnant women and new mothers, whom she calls 'the front-line warriors for our species'? She calls for more flextime that allows both parents to cycle in and out of the workplace, compensated for time off with a kind of Social Security; at least six months of paid Family Leave; on-site day care; an overhaul of the 'birthing industry' to support midwifery with obstetrical backup; and more. Wolf calls for a 'Motherhood Feminism,' a vocal movement to push these kinds of changes, including creating new social structures to bring children closer to work. 'Women should not have to choose between two such starkly exclusive worlds as 'work' and 'home with kids.'' And when women are home with their newborns, they should not be penalized financially. 'The real transformation is one of the heart,' Wolf declares. 'It will be a revolution when we don't just say that mothers are important. It will be a revolution when we finally start treating motherhood and caring for children in general as if it were truly the most important task of all.' This book is at times depressing and overall very critical of the health care system and of society in general. However, even if you do not agree with every detail of Wolf's exposition (for example, you may not have had as bad an experience with your own hospital deliveries), you will still find plenty to contemplate in her narrative. It is densely-packed with issues you can debate with others (like the status of mothers and the future of working women) and will have you examining your own life.

Dark, but Well Conceived

Ms. Wolf comes across as a bitter woman through the majority of the book, dark and depressed. Her information is well researched and fully informed perhaps for NYC or Washington, but certainly is not true for all cities or communities in the US. She is right on regarding the status of mothers in the workplace and community, and I commend her call to form a Mothers Lobby. Although I would recommend the book, please read it with an open mind to your own experiences.

I Loved It

Naomi Wolf is right on the money with her analysis of what's going on in the baby doctor business. She is also funny and scathing as she exposes the phony 'oohs and aahs' of having a baby. She makes a point of describing birthing options that you didn't know existed thanks to the medical machine that runs the show. At the end, she proposes the sane and correct answer. I enjoyed every page.

Amazing book

This book is great. If you have ever thought about having a child read this book. What she says is so true and will open your eyes to what is really happening in the medical profession.

Disappointing! Wait for paperback

I had heard much hype about this book, and couldn't wait to read it. While it's was okay and a quick read, it felt to me like the author was just a bitter woman. I understand that there are bad doctors and hospitals out there which is very scary but all she did was focus on the negativity of pregnancy and childbirth, nothing about the beauty. I have a few more chapters to go, so maybe she brightens up. I would have rather waited for paperback, it's not worth the $20.00

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