Customer Reviews for

The New Dare to Discipline

Average Rating 3.5
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

One of the Best

Great book!!!! Lots of practical information...I didn't know about it until I saw ugly things written about it on a website and it intrigued me. Loved the book!! Thanks B & N for selling it!!!

posted by Anonymous on June 20, 2008

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

A reviewer

I was talking with other mums and dads while watching our children play football. The subject of discipline came up when talking about childrens behaviour and how we deal with it. The nervousness was palpable Punishing their children is taboo and they even feel guilty i...
I was talking with other mums and dads while watching our children play football. The subject of discipline came up when talking about childrens behaviour and how we deal with it. The nervousness was palpable Punishing their children is taboo and they even feel guilty if they have to. But one thing is they all admit something is wrong withregards to what is acceptable and what is not. I think Dr Dobson has finally put what we all really think out there but he is seen by many as one who said the F- word out loud in church. Is he right or wrong? Not sure, but it is a good start. The scripture verse 'Spare the rod' is often used and but it has been misunderstood by many. When it is mentioned we often visualise a stick, a belt , cane or whatever to beat a child with. That is not the case. A 'rod' in the Bible is a symbol of authority. It is usually carried by a king or queen or chief of a tribe. Here in England the Queen and even the House of Commons have a sceptre or rod. It symbolises power, authority and rule. The carrier holds the power which is recognised by all. All who are subjects of that person or institution mentioned above do recognise and subject themselves to it for the good of all. We all do it in some form or another in whatever country we live in (as long as the rule of law is righteous and fair). Those who rebel against it for selfish reasons are challenging the position of the holder and the rule of law and authority which goes with it(which leads to civil disobedience). These actions are dealt with accordingly and far more harshly than we as parents ever would. So, when the Bible says 'spare the rod and spoil the child' it really means that if you do not teach the child to respect, honour and recognise the authority in the home, the rule of law, social expectations etc then the child will grow up in a manner that refuses to accept any authority from anybody, any government, any law etc and effectivly the 'child is spoiled'. Which parent who loves their child wants them to grow up to be a churlish 'yob'. None of us do. So, it is not about using a rod to thrash a child into submission. How we teach our children is up to us and we are responsible for our childrens actions. Some parents just thrash them (which I think is despicable), some don't do it at all and some use it only when it is absolutely necessary, however much they hate to do it. Let us not be quick to judge others. If I truly believe that my child deserves a hiding then I must do it for them because I love them.If I let them grow up believing that it is ok to defy all authority because they want to get their own selfish way without any recourse for their actions, somebody else will punish them later in life when they try the same trick on them and that will break my heart. So, is Dr Dobson right or not? Maybe he has just written what we all think but are to afraid to talk about out loud. His book is not the bible of child-rearing but if it helps in some way to help my child grow up to be a great person who is happy, productive and brings a lot of good into the world, then it is ok for me.

posted by Anonymous on November 13, 2007

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 16, 2008

    This book is written by a real piece of work

    'The New dare to discipline' seems to be written by a man who has a few screws loose. The fact that hitting of BABIES is condoned in this book should be a person's first clue that the author is a real piece of work. Babies do not need to be hit, especially with an object that can cause serious injury. Anyone with children would be very wise to take this book with a grain of salt.

    0 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 23, 2007

    OMG!!!

    If you want to learn how to abuse your children and feel good about it, read it. Horrible, horrible book.

    0 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 30, 2007

    Frightening

    I borrowed this book from a neighbor (thankfully I didn't waste my money on it). This is the most horrific book I have ever read regarding the discipline of children. I can't believe the Dr. advises to begin spanking as children as young as 15 months. It is incredible that he also condones spanking a child who doesn't stop crying soon enough after being 'disciplined'. I am horrified that some parents actually buy into this method of child rearing. This Dr. cleary is not an advocate for children and does not have their best interest in mind, his only focus is on the comfort of the parent (if a child is crying, hit him or her because they are annoying you).

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2007

    Child abuse

    Discipline is loving guidance, not corporal punishment, where the child in a demeaning way wrongly learns that violence is acceptable and a communicative form in society. Besides, look up the word discipline and you find no definition about spanking. Children are children: They need a safe place to explore their boundaries where parents act as wise parents. Why spank a child when they do not even know what is right from wrong? It is our job to guide and teach them, not punish them. Christians should know better that 'spare the rod, spoil the child' from Proverbs in Old Testament is not current any longer. Remember- With Jesus comes a better way, a new law: The New Testament. Jesus does not spank the children. Jesus says 'Let the children come to me'. Better books on child discipline: ¿The Happiest Toddler on the Block¿ by Dr. Harvey Karp ¿The Discipline Book¿ by William and Martha Sears ¿Caring for your baby and young child¿ by AAP (The American Academy of Pediatrics) ¿The Irreducible Needs of Children¿ by T. Berry Brazelton, MD, and Stanley I. Greenspan, MD. ¿When your child drives you crazy¿ by Eda LeShan ¿Loving your child is not enough¿ by Nancy Samalin 'The Case Against Spanking: How to Discipline Your Child Without Hitting' By: Irwin A. Hyman John Wiley & Sons / 1997 / Paperback

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 7, 2006

    This is child abuse

    James Dobson must be in some form of dementia. Over 25 years ago he wrote a practical, somewhat helpful book on child rearing, but he has apparently gone off the deep end. How distressing that parents may read his books and follow his advice.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 6, 2005

    Christain Parenting?

    I am the mother of a wonderful, bright 15 month old son. Coming from a very Christain family, I was encouraged to read this book. I was very saddened by Dr. Dobson's approach, as he shares stories over and over again about humiliating children (name-calling 'brat' 'terror' 'a butterball' etc.) in ways that I cannot truly believe is Christ-like. In one section of the book Dobson describes a mother shaking her 3 year old for spitting - yet shaking can cause brain damage and death, but Dobson doesn¿t comment on this. In addition, many of his statements are not backed up with enough research for the educated parent. I was also disapointed that there is not a single quote from Jesus in the entire book, and not a single verse from the Gospels. In short, I could not find true human kindness and respect for children in this book.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 8, 2005

    Did Jesus Discipline This Way???

    This book is very disturbing. The author clearly doesn't like children. He is so focused on labeling children as selfish, demanding, defiant, bratty, rebels that he forgets to consider respect and love. The bible tells us to 'do to others as you would have them do to you.' I am pretty sure that Jesus didn't go around smacking people in order to train them into submission. Dobson turns parenting into a contest of wills. Dobson's mother once whipped him with a girdle and he says that it made him feel loved. Come on! It is extremely upsetting that this book is even in print, but to think that he makes these statements and then passes them off as God's Instructions makes me very very sad. Consider reading How Would Jesus Raise a Child by Theresa Whitehurst instead. Your children will someday thank you and so will all who come in contact with them.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 16, 2005

    Not the Christ like parenting I know!

    I am a parent and this book caused me to cry and my heart to break for all the poor children who's parents who follow this horrible book. The Jesus I know is loving and says bring the little children unto me and loves the little children!!! He does not call them 'tyrants', 'brats', and 'fat-fingered tornadoes'!!! No where in the bible does God say we are to use rods and wipes and switches to ABUSE our children with. I have a 2 year old and she has NEVER been spanked and I have to say she is much better behaved then the children around us she plays with that are. Hitting only encourages hitting! You teach your child if you don't like what someone does then just hit them. Please do not support this book or Dr. Dobson!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 7, 2005

    A 'Christian' Approach?

    This book is completely hyprocritical. Dobson calls this book a 'Christian' approach to raising children, yet he breaks countless Biblical scriptures. 'Do not despise one of these little ones' (Mt. 18:10)...Dobson calls them demeaning names. 'Whatever you have done to little children you have done to me', 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!', 'It's better for someone to have a heavy stone tied around his neck and thrown into the sea than for that person to offend one of these little children.' The list goes on. It might also be important for any parent considering this book to know that Dobson has NO religious credentials, and NO credentials in child development. His 'Dr.' comes from a doctorate in psychology, in which he studied animal behavior. If that were not enough, grown children whose parents have followed Dobson's training say that they despise their parents for the years of abuse and do not want anything to do with them. No wonder the world rejects Christianity when we beat our children and say God justified it?? give me a break.. Christ does not want it this way, and He does not want you to hurt your children either. Have the Bible ever spoken of Christ hitting a child, or anyone for that matter? Please PLEASE! do not make your children suffer from this instrument of instruction on how to torture children.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 6, 2005

    Dare to whip children

    I read this entire book and it is deeply disturbing. The author recommends hitting children as young as 15 months old, and he recommends using wooden boards and whips, and painful squeezing of the trapezius muscle to obtain 'instant obedience.' The hitting should 'be of sufficient magnitude to cause genuine tears', and a child should be hit even more if he cries afterwards for more than a few minutes. The author says 'sick and deformed' children can be hit too. He recommends hitting toddlers who are having a tantrum, and to tell a child who is hit by a playmate to hit them back. He insists that 'many children desperately need' corporal punishment, and claims spanking does not make 'the child more violent' despites scads of research showing that it does indeed increase aggressive behavior. He also claims that making it illegal to hit children will increase child abuse, yet every country that has done so, 14 in all, has experienced a DECREASE in child abuse. The author seems obsessed with what he perceives as 'defiance' and makes fun of talking things over with a children as 'yakkity-yak discussions.' The art of negotiation, of empathy and understanding, do not figure into his philosophy. Dr. Dobson has presented himself as an authority on Christian family values, yet he has no religious credentials. He quotes the most punishing verses in the Old Testament, and leaves Jesus, mercy, forgiveness and the Golden Rule out completely. His logic is sorely lacking as well, when he assumes that 4 abandoned baby birds have died from being overfed, then applies that unscientific conclusion to children, saying they shouldn't have too many toys. He also has decided that all children perceive their fathers as God, because of one instance in which his own 2 year old was asked to do the family prayer at dinner, and he started it by saying 'Dear daddy' instead of 'Our father.' From this weak link he spins a whole philosophy of parents being the punishing God to their children. The author favors harsh treatment of infants, saying not to pick up a crying infant right away, and 'if discipline begins on the second day of life, you're one day too late.' He doesn't seem to like children at all, calling them names like 'brat' 'terrors' 'tornado' 'destructive' 'selfish' 'loudmouth' 'messies' etc. He calls his own tiny daughter a '15 month old ankle biter.' He doesn't seem to have read Jesus' injuction to 'Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones' (Mt. 18:10). If you want to understand what's wrong with US society, why we are the most violent country among all industrialized nations, why we are the only county in the UN that hasn't ratified the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, then read this book that has sold millions of copies. But don't use these harsh techniques on your precious children. As the author himself admits toward the end of the book 'I have an entire generation that would like to catch me in a blind alley.'

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 21, 2005

    Sad, cruel book. Zero stars.

    It's hard to imagine a worse parenting manual. Hopefully, parents today are too wise to waste their money on such profound misinformation. Children are gifts to be cherished and taught with love and patience and by example, not beaten into submission by tyrannical parents.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 26, 2005

    How I feel about Dobson's book 'The New Dare to Discipline'

    I have just completed reading Dr. Dobson's book from cover to cover. I was absolutely shocked to learn that he believes that whipping babies and children is right! The book says that he used corporal punishment on his own kids. Not only that but he hit his dog as well! I strongly do not feel that this is correct Christian teaching. There are many other alternatives to discipline a child. I was also shocked to read the names he called children such as 'fat legs', 'ankle biter' and 'spitfire'. From the way Dobson talks about children, it seems as though he doesn't like them at all. He talks about corporal punishment as being good for a child and doesn't hurt him or her. It DOES hurt as there have been injuries and death because of children being hit with paddles.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 26, 2005

    child abuse, plain and simple

    As a parent, also holding a B.S. degree in Child Development, I am deeply distressed by the principles advanced here. Discipline is produced by love, lots of it, from an early age. Rather than violence and power struggles, I urge readers to look into the principles of Attachment Parenting.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 31, 2005

    Not the best for Christian parenting

    I have read so many fine books written by Christian consultants on child rearing and discipline and I must say this is not one of them. The good doctor's advice to handling problems with your child is to hit and humiliate. He contradicts himself several times in the book and logic seems to be something he likes to avoid. Many parents may buy this book because Dr. Dobson has a respected name in the Christian community, but this is one book of his that is to be avoided at all costs.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 6, 2003

    Disappointed

    This book was recommended by several people I know. Upon purchase I read it in one sitting and was baffled by its content. As a degreed professional I found the advice and material to be un-organized and poorly written. I was constantly shocked at his references of inflicting "pain" in children and recommending "thumping" a toddler to teach it a lesson. However, he always followed these outlandish comments with retractions on how he did not advocate child abuse. Whipping babies on the legs with sticks and squeezing the shoulders of kids to inflict pain is wrong, period. Also, his recommendation of having a four year old defend himself by physically fighting contradicts his claim that parents hitting children does not cause them to be violent, he flat out instructed it! I cannot believe so many people find his advice and books to be so wonderful..wake up people.. do not buy into this it is very far from helpful parenting in the name of christianity.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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