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Most Helpful Favorable Review
3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
One of the Best
posted by Anonymous on June 20, 2008Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Most Helpful Critical Review
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
posted by Anonymous on November 13, 2007Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted November 13, 2007
I was talking with other mums and dads while watching our children play football. The subject of discipline came up when talking about childrens behaviour and how we deal with it. The nervousness was palpable Punishing their children is taboo and they even feel guilty if they have to. But one thing is they all admit something is wrong withregards to what is acceptable and what is not. I think Dr Dobson has finally put what we all really think out there but he is seen by many as one who said the F- word out loud in church. Is he right or wrong? Not sure, but it is a good start. The scripture verse 'Spare the rod' is often used and but it has been misunderstood by many. When it is mentioned we often visualise a stick, a belt , cane or whatever to beat a child with. That is not the case. A 'rod' in the Bible is a symbol of authority. It is usually carried by a king or queen or chief of a tribe. Here in England the Queen and even the House of Commons have a sceptre or rod. It symbolises power, authority and rule. The carrier holds the power which is recognised by all. All who are subjects of that person or institution mentioned above do recognise and subject themselves to it for the good of all. We all do it in some form or another in whatever country we live in (as long as the rule of law is righteous and fair). Those who rebel against it for selfish reasons are challenging the position of the holder and the rule of law and authority which goes with it(which leads to civil disobedience). These actions are dealt with accordingly and far more harshly than we as parents ever would. So, when the Bible says 'spare the rod and spoil the child' it really means that if you do not teach the child to respect, honour and recognise the authority in the home, the rule of law, social expectations etc then the child will grow up in a manner that refuses to accept any authority from anybody, any government, any law etc and effectivly the 'child is spoiled'. Which parent who loves their child wants them to grow up to be a churlish 'yob'. None of us do. So, it is not about using a rod to thrash a child into submission. How we teach our children is up to us and we are responsible for our childrens actions. Some parents just thrash them (which I think is despicable), some don't do it at all and some use it only when it is absolutely necessary, however much they hate to do it. Let us not be quick to judge others. If I truly believe that my child deserves a hiding then I must do it for them because I love them.If I let them grow up believing that it is ok to defy all authority because they want to get their own selfish way without any recourse for their actions, somebody else will punish them later in life when they try the same trick on them and that will break my heart. So, is Dr Dobson right or not? Maybe he has just written what we all think but are to afraid to talk about out loud. His book is not the bible of child-rearing but if it helps in some way to help my child grow up to be a great person who is happy, productive and brings a lot of good into the world, then it is ok for me.
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 11, 2009
The New Dare To Discipline Your Child
I read the original book back in the mid 1980's when my middle child was out of control. Today, he is a very polite, respectful hard working young man. He has a nice family and he knows that sometimes when defiance is an issue, a little force goes along way. I carried the discipline over for my youngest child and he never gave me the trouble that the middle one started too. I intend to give this book to my daughter who has a four year old who is totally out of control. I know he is out of control because he has never been told "no", but, they need to get control of him now before he starts school next month. I know it will take them time, but his screaming and crying everytime he has to do something he doesn't want too is awful. Inclluding staying with the family during an outing, sitting down to eat a meal in a restaraunt or going to church or using the potty! He needs to get under control NOW! I am sending my daughter this book as soon as I can.
0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 29, 2006
Seems to blame the child rather than exploring healthy parenting
Just as the title indicates Dr. Dobson focuses on what he sees as the child's deficits rather than the underlying parent-child relationsship. I think Dr. Dobson basis his book on a faulty and potentially destructive premiss - the child is inherently flawed and the parent must intervene (for which he provides much advice). Rather, I think I prefere a healthier premiss - my child's behavior and personality are greatly influenced by the quality of the parent child relationship (the degrees of intimacy, empathy, and emotional safety). I think Dr. Dobson's understanding of these qualities are a bit skewed or misguided. James Dobson has been around for a long time. He certainly has a large body of literature. If you are familiar with his writing I think you will find that 'The New Strong-Willed Child' is more of the same. If you have found his previous work insightful and inspirational this may be the book for you. Personally, I find my role as parent to be too important to blindly accept everything Dr. Dobson presents. Rather, I suggest you read 'The New Strong-Willed Child' as well as other resources to gain a more rounded and insightful understanding of this most important job (parenting). I really liked to work of Mark Gaskill, MFT (family therapist and parenting expert) as a balancing perspective. His book 'Systemic Parenting: An Exploration of the Parenting Big Picture' is superb. These two books are worlds apart. If you are attached to Dobson, great 'The New Strong-Willed Child' will be your thing. However, you might want to treat yourself to some newer and fresher ideas by looking elsewhere.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 19, 2012
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