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Ophelia's Mom: Women Speak Out about Loving and Letting Go of Their Adolescent Daughters

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 23, 2002

    Monique Rider ~ Life Coach & Contributing Author To Ophelia's Mom

    As a contributing author to Ophelia's Mom I feel this book shares a message of hope, inspiration, and courage. During signings of this book, I have spoken about the personal growth I went through while struggling with with the ups and downs of my daughter. I feel all the moms who contributed showed courage in finding their voice. Many moms did not answer the call to contribute and half of us who did, wrote under assumed names. Personally, I would not have minded going public, however, I chose to protect my daughter's privacy. My daughter was not in a frame of mind to understand this project, therefore, I did not seek her permission to write about her. Yet, I felt immensely compelled to get my message of hope out to the public - so we changed the names. Other moms had their own reasons and I think that's what makes the book so special. As a life coach, I use Ophelia's Mom as a resource for my clients who are struggling with teen issues and who are trying to 'let go' and find themselves.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 30, 2001

    touching, important book for parents

    I am a mental health professional (fourth year doctoral candidate) in clnical psychology. I also have a 16 1/2 year old daughter. I found this book touching and poignant. My child is my heart, yet raising a daughter is challenging. Shandler's book shares feelings and experiences so many of us have experienced but never shared. It is therapeutic and moving. I recommend it highly.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 31, 2001

    first of its kind -- a morale booster for mothers of teen daughters

    I have just finished reading Ophelia's Mom, and it has been an extremely reassuring experience. I tried approaching other mothers regarding parenting issues regarding raising a strongly independent daughter, but no-one wanted to openly discuss their experience, probably for fear of airing their struggles. I decided that I was more or less alone in having difficulties with this issue. Ophelia's Mom is the first proof that I am not alone. This is one of the most helpful books I have ever read. If you have ever felt that your kind, loving pre-pubescent daughter has turned into someone you don't recognize, I urge you to read this book. It's like having your best friend and therapist at arm's reach.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 30, 2001

    I Highly recommend this book to ALL moms!

    After I read this book, I wrote directly to the author because I was so impressed by the honesty of the women who submitted their stories. As a mom of an almost 16 year old, I may not have shared every problem but many of them hit very close to home! As I wrote to Nina, I laughed and I cried but mostly I felt glad that others shared my feelings....so many times I've felt in a void as far as sharing the secret life of a teenage daugher...'Ophelia's Mom' made me feel that there were others out there who had survived the battle! I think everyone with a pre-teen or teenager should read this immediately!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 14, 2001

    Boring book with little advise

    I found this book very difficult to get through. It had a couple spots that gave me a chuckle. However, the book was tough to get through and had little adivise for moms of teens. I was dissapointed and would not recommend this book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 28, 2001

    Helpful Insights for Ophelia's Dad, Too!

    Our youngest child of four is now a 15 year-old sophomore in high school. I am enjoying seeing her blossom and go through the teenage struggle. She is clearly doing well, and is finding her footing. At the same time, I can see that my wife finds all of this much more distressing than she did with the older children. Clearly, letting go is proving to be hard. How concerned should I be? I wasn't sure. Having read Ophelia's Mom, I can now see that my wife's reactions are very typical. I also see that there's more to feel good about with our younger daughter than I would have realized on my own. These wise, witty, wonderful women have given me a great gift by sharing their deepest fears and concerns. Whether you are a mom or a dad of a teenage girl, I think you will love this book. Dr. Shandler is very open in describing how her professional objectivity is overwhelmed by her maternal instincts. And she obviously raised two amazing daughters. Equally, her professional knowledge allows her to frame the material from the other moms to best advantage so it is easily to understand. I particularly liked the parts of Ophelia's Mom where she addressed the rest of the family. How does one's own mom affect parenting? What is a helpful role for husbands? The book has only two weaknesses. It could have used submissions from more people. Apparently, Ophelia's mom is shy about her experiences (or perhaps just too crazed while being in them). Dr. Shandler certainly put a lot of effort in this direction. Second, it would have been stronger if the Ophelia's had shared their thoughts with their moms so that the reader could see both perspectives more clearly. In the case of Dr. Shandler, she could clearly have asked her own daughters for help since Ms. Sara Shandler has gone public already in Ophelia Speaks about her experiences as a teen. Books like this often stimulate an outpouring of letters, so perhaps we will see Echoes of Ophelia's Mom in the future. Go give your mom and your daughter a hug! Donald Mitchell, co-author of The Irresistible Growth Enterprise and The 2,000 Percent Solution

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