Customer Reviews for

Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

Average Rating 3.5
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(74)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

11 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

LOVED the book..

Now..I can understand why some of the reviews were poor. Dr. Laura definately does not have any good things to say about the feminist movement. At times it does sound as if she thinks women should only be housewives and take care of their husbands. But! If you can look ...
Now..I can understand why some of the reviews were poor. Dr. Laura definately does not have any good things to say about the feminist movement. At times it does sound as if she thinks women should only be housewives and take care of their husbands. But! If you can look past that, there are great things about this book and things ANY wife can learn whether she chooses to stay home or have a career. It's all about respect, being equals, and taking care of your self and your family. I think everyone should read this book no matter your opinion on the role of a wife. Also, a quick note about some of the reviews I had read. She does also have books just for men, she isn't only 'attacking' women and leaving the men clear of any faults. Remember, this book was titled The Proper Care and Feeding of HUSBANDS, so don't expect to have any advice for the guys in this one. Now, the ONLY thing I didn't like about this book was that in one of the chapters she makes it sound like women are ALWAYS at fault when a man cheats. I absolutely do not believe that to be true. Overall though, i would suggest this book to my friends and family....and have.

posted by Anonymous on July 28, 2008

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Most Helpful Critical Review

16 out of 23 people found this review helpful.

Give me a break

What a load of crap. I'm from the South - we feed our husbands. It's expected and most us enjoy it. In our modern world, I also don't know a single woman that doesn't like sex. Do I cook every single meal my husband eats and do it freshly showered and primped every ...
What a load of crap. I'm from the South - we feed our husbands. It's expected and most us enjoy it. In our modern world, I also don't know a single woman that doesn't like sex. Do I cook every single meal my husband eats and do it freshly showered and primped every day? Of course not. Nor do I cook every single day.

Let me share a couple of true stories with you. I have known 2 older women that pretty much lived what this book describes - and then became ill. One husband moved out of the house when his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. He couldn't deal with his wife being ill. His minister ok'ed this because it's "so hard to see the family nurturer in that condition", instead of telling him to get his sorry butt back home and do for his wife what she had always done for him. Another shipped his dying wife off to their daughter and asked another woman from church to marry him a month after his wife died.

Two for two.. I see a pattern emerging ladies and gentlemen. Do i think these just happened to be bad men? No, I don't. I think they were put first for so long, and that their wives sacrificed showing themselves as human, that these men couldn't fathom that their wives now needed them. They lacked the life skills to deal with such an unpleasant situation. You know, the same skills we try to teach our children as they mature? Do i think all men would do this? Of course not, but this is a problem.

No man wants to be married to a controlling and hateful woman, any more than a woman wants a man like that. I don't belittle or bash my husband and I try to make him happy, but I'm human and not perfect. Sometimes I'm grouchy, lazy, or unattractive. And guess what sometimes so is he. I love and accept him in those times too - that's life and marriage, and it's no worse for me to have those days than for him to.

Then she talks like women should thank their lucky stars that a man would even look at her if she's in her 30's or has kids. Give me a break. I was in my 30's with two sons when I met my husband (1st died). He was not the only man interested in me, but we loved each other and I think we BOTH chose well. I don't get down on my knees and thank him for marrying me. I guess I'm just not as thankful as the wife in the book that realized she was wothless without her husband (gag).

I want to make my husband happy, but I am not a wife-in-the-box. If I've been working in the garden, cleaning house, and doing laundry all day then I'm not going to look like a prom queen while making dinner when he gets home... and he *should* get to see that I also work hard for the life we enjoy and that this is a partnership... and you know what? He does.

What do I agree with in this book? 1st, husband's need a little alone time when they get home. Give him that time to decompress without asking about his day or telling him about yours or a problem. He will come to you in 30-45 minutes and be ready to talk. 2nd, don't ask your husband to do something and then complain about it. Jeez... this makes me want to smack women in the head. Your way isn't the only way and your husband isn't there to play a supporting role in *your* life... he'd probably like to live one too. If your way is the only right way then do it yourself.

Happily married for 12 years to a man that would be bored in 5 minutes with the woman descibed in this book.

posted by Anonymous on June 22, 2012

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 28, 2008

    LOVED the book..

    Now..I can understand why some of the reviews were poor. Dr. Laura definately does not have any good things to say about the feminist movement. At times it does sound as if she thinks women should only be housewives and take care of their husbands. But! If you can look past that, there are great things about this book and things ANY wife can learn whether she chooses to stay home or have a career. It's all about respect, being equals, and taking care of your self and your family. I think everyone should read this book no matter your opinion on the role of a wife. Also, a quick note about some of the reviews I had read. She does also have books just for men, she isn't only 'attacking' women and leaving the men clear of any faults. Remember, this book was titled The Proper Care and Feeding of HUSBANDS, so don't expect to have any advice for the guys in this one. Now, the ONLY thing I didn't like about this book was that in one of the chapters she makes it sound like women are ALWAYS at fault when a man cheats. I absolutely do not believe that to be true. Overall though, i would suggest this book to my friends and family....and have.

    11 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 15, 2007

    It is all about treating others (especially your husband) with respect!

    I highly recommend this book! The basic premise is that if you love your husband, don't treat him like garbage. Dr. Laura reminds us in this book that you are both on the same team and it is alright to show your husband love and respect. I tried some of the ideas in this book such as saying 'Hello' to him when he walked in the door from work and telling him 'Thank You' when he did something to help me. (Yes, I am ashamed that I didn't always do these things!) and I found that not only was my husband happier, but I felt happier as well. A final note to all those who did find this book degrading...there is nothing degrading about treating another human being with respect and love. There is nothing manipulative or submissive about telling your husband that you love him or that you appreciate the work that he does. (Note: Dr. Laura reiterates numerous times that the principles in this book only apply if you are married to a good man who is trying to be a good husband!)

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 2, 2009

    Life Lessons

    I read the reviews and excerpts from this book and thought to myself, "Wow, this could really be the book that makes a difference. How does this one woman understand what is so simple and that so many women cannot?" Well, this book very well may be that book but this post is labeled "Life Lessons" for a reason. My wife didn't react as well to my gift as I had hoped. I even took the gift wrapping option and took the time to write a very thoughtful note to have included. She may one day read this book but for the time being she will continue to be the typical spoiled princess that made want to buy this for her to begin with. Gentlemen, you have been warned: only buy this for open-minded women who are willing to change. For the time being, I'll be living in my self-created misery. Good luck!

    FYI - I read through most of the book to see what is in it and this thing is phenominal! Great information and a spot-on analysis from the enlightened female perspective.

    7 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 1, 2007

    Women, let's fix the mess we've made the last 50 years...Dr Laura tells us how...we DO hold all the power

    First, because I know you're going to wade through a lot of whining and blame-gaming in these reviews, I want to just repost a couple of reviews from other readers that you might not get down to reading. I find these reviews pretty much say it all...fairly, intelligently, and with a sense of how empowered women truly are. My review? I had never even heard of Dr Laura when I discovered this book at O'Hare Airport. Together with my husband, we read it aloud to each other on the plane home. My relationship with ALL men has improved now that my eyes have been opened to their needs. My brother, my father in law, my husband, male strangers I meet...I've learned when they do any little task to help out PRAISE THEM TO THE SKIES and don't point out where they failed to do it the way you would have. Also, give men an opportunity to help you - let them get your door, pick up things you drop, open pickle jars for you - then thank them profusely as 'your hero!' Men love to rescue us, being asked for help doesn't annoy them, it makes them feel needed and appreciated. But anyway, these two say it all: 1 -' This is a book for realists and those who can be honest with themselves. I can see why some people really have a problem with this book. It is straight forward and really calls some personality types out. If you don't believe in the golden rule you won¿t like this book. If you are a man-hater or pushing to simply reverse the whip on men or have a tough time being accountably for your actions, then you will not like it. You may have other issues that need to be resolved before you would understand what this book has to offer. The concepts in this book function with the core premise that there are minimum requirements for men and most men DO meet those requirements. However, as women we have a tendency to raise the minimum requirements without telling our husbands or raising them beyond our husbands capabilities. If your husband is a selfish dirt bag, then do what you need to. But most of us are not married to bad people. Dr. Laura did a wonderful job of helping me understand where I put my husband at a disadvantage and don¿t allow him contribute to the relationship in an effective way. Sometimes I would make decisions that completely ignored his needs and were based solely on the fact that I am a woman and he is a man. I realize that is wrong and was hurting our communication and relationship. I have already taken some of the advice that Dr. Laura offers and it has worked. Give 'your man' some sincere credit and show the sincere respect you want in return and it will work. You may not see results right away depending on how poorly you have treated him, but it will work if he is a normal guy. It goes without saying that husbands who abuse their wives, are completely selfish or all around rotten do not deserve good wives. Dr. Laura doesn't spend the whole book saying this because a normal woman is smart enough to figure that out. She also does not waste our time telling us that serial murderers and terrorists don't deserve good wives, but then most of us are able to figure that out on our own without the help of our man-hater sisters. If you have a tough time understanding that on your own, then again....you may have other issues that need to be resolved before you would understand what this book has to offer.' and 2 -'Jeannie, wife of 10 years, mother of two I had never listened to Dr. Laura's radio show or read any of her books before. I 'stumbled' upon her book one day as I heard reference to it on a radio show that a friend was listening to. Curious, I went out and bought the audiobook and listened with an open heart and mind. This book is truly a nourishing resource particularly for married and engaged women, but also for single women as it is generally helpful in understanding how to constructively maintain relationships with men. I have to applaud Dr. Laura's courage in pointing out in this modern time of pervasive feminin

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 16, 2013

    As a 52 year old masters degree educated executive I am buying D

    As a 52 year old masters degree educated executive I am buying Dr Laura’s the Care and Feeding of Marriage, Husbands and Women Power for my niece’s wedding gift. These books teach you to treat your husband as a man and not your girlfriend, and to use your feminine wiles instead of male directness to get along with him better. Typically men marry women because they are attracted to femininity. If he wanted a guy he’d be at the game, gym or a gay bar. Femininity works. Even at age 50 and 244 pounds, or dirty from the dog park or gym, men love me! In rebuke to those reviews that complain of women being exploited by being married to egotistical pigs, Dr Laura said that these books only apply to good husbands that women want to get along better with.

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 27, 2011

    Truly AMAZING!!!

    Straight to the heart of marriage and of families in general. I couldn't set it down. Put the information to use as soon as I was finished and immediately started receiving what i have been craving from my husband of 14 years. I wish I had read it 15 years ago.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 5, 2010

    Take your marriage from OK to GREAT!

    This was a fantastic book. I learned so many things about men that I did not know and in just a week I made a turn around in my marriage that my husband instantly reacted to. He is more attentive, loving and caring now and there are fewer fights and arguments. Read it! Even if you think your marriage is fine, this book will show you that there is more you can get from it.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 12, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    A must read for every woman that loves a man!

    I wish I could convince every wife, or wife to be be, to read this book. A tough pill to swallow at times, but oh, so true. Will improve your marriage drastically if you apply it.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 5, 2010

    Great Book

    I love this book. It really helped me prepare for a husband. I would recomend anyone to read this book.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 20, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    AMAZING, LIFE- CHANGING BOOK!!

    This book first struck me as antifeminist and to a certain point it is. The more you read it the more it makes sense. This book has changed my life. I recommended to anyone who is planning on getting married and ALL married women.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 13, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Dr. Laura has done it again!

    The Proper care and feeding of husbands began weaving it's magic the moment that I walked through the door, at home. My wonderful man saw it and was immediately pleased and even blushed when he realized that I cared enough about him to read a book ,in order to try to take care of him even better.Thank you Dr.Laura and B&N you are both great Colleen

    2 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 19, 2008

    GREAT!

    I was very self absorbed and demanding of my husband before reading this. We consistantly had arguements. I did not appreciate anything he did - and he was and is a really good guy. Taking the advice of appreciating him and giving him some great sex (which for me was also fun) our relationship did a 180. The women who are disgusted by this book don't like sex and therefore, really, should not be married. Be sure you have a GOOD husband - not a cheating liar - and you will have success with her advice.

    2 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 14, 2008

    Excellent book!

    This is a great book for all women! :-) I loved it think that it is very true the way many women treat their husbands like crap and think they can make a marraige work this way. Sad to say how many decent men are take for granted and misunderstood.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 6, 2008

    love it

    a good dose of reality. my husband and i were happy, but now were are like teenagers with each other. this book is a must read.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 4, 2007

    A reviewer

    This is an excellent book for most woman today. I am from the 60's burn your bra and don't need a man error. It not a matter of need it is if you are going into marriage don't treat him like garbage. Women do it all the time and I am not saying there are not abusive men out there, she is not talking about those men. Dr. Laura makes that clear if you read far enough in. This is about every day families with women who think it is ok to marry a man and treat him as something less. If this is to tough in language for you, you might start with 'For Women Only' by Shaunti Feldhahn, it will tug at your heart but basically says the same thing.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 8, 2007

    I needed this twenty years ago

    This is an excellent book. If I had had it when we began our marriage, it would have helped create a lot more happiness in our relationship. I have to buy a new book, because I lent it to a friend who lent it to her sister who lent it to I don't know who. If you've been married a while, you will see how valuable Dr. Laura's advice is.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 12, 2007

    PLEASE READ - THIS BOOK COULD SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!

    This book honestly SAVED my marriage!! I¿m a 22 year old woman and my husband and I have been together for seven years, and have been married for one year. For 3-4 years we had been constantly arguing about ANY and EVERY little thing, and to be honest, I truly believe that we HATED each other. I kept blaming him for all of our problems, but I know now that is was ALL MY FAULT. I couldn¿t understand why he wasn¿t happy, but I wasn¿t treating him like a man wants and needs to be treated. I wasn¿t even trying. I would complain about cooking, or cleaning, or being intimate because I was too tired, but I realize now that I was just being lazy and expecting him to do everything. I never took a step back and looked at how much he WAS doing. I had the perfect husband, who worked hard everyday for me and our daughter, who loved me and thought I was beautiful and sexy (even when I didn¿t), who loved our daughter and would do anything for us, and I took advantage of that and in return treated him like absolute trash. By the time I was done with the first chapter in this book, I had changed the way I felt about my husband, our family, and our relationship. My absolute favorite line in this book, and something I tell myself almost everyday, is ¿I¿ve got to tell you how remarkably true and sad it is that so many women struggle to hold on to some jerk, keep giving an abusive or philandering man yet another chance, have unprotected sex with some guy while barely knowing his last name, agree to shack up and risk making babies with some opportunist or loser, all in a pathetic version of a pursuit for love, BUT WILL RESENT THE HELL OUT OF TREATING A DECENT, HARDWORKING, CARING HUSBAND WITH THE THOUGHTFULNESS, ATTENTION, RESPECT AND AFFECTION HE NEEDS TO BE CONTENT.¿ This is SO true! Ladies, all a man wants is to be TREATED like a real man, like he is the king of his home, because let¿s face it, HE IS, and YOU should be PROUD to be his queen. You should want him to feel like he is everything to you, like you couldn¿t live without him, and all of this begins with YOU. It is not that hard to be attentive to his needs, they¿re pretty simple. He wants to feel loved, wanted, needed, and appreciated. Not too much to ask for, is it? If YOU make your man happy, he will do anything it takes to do the same for you, TRUST ME! It was like a night and day change in our relationship, and has been nothing but wonderful and rewarding since I have read this book over six months ago. It has changed my relationship more than I could¿ve ever imagined, and I couldn¿t be happier with my life or my wonderful husband than I am right now. Instead of the petty fights we use to have, we are more loving and caring of one another¿s needs and wants, and we have learned how to compromise without arguing. I cannot say enough good things about this book, and I recommend it to every one of my girlfriends who have troubled relationships. Now granted, I didn¿t agree with everything Dr. Laura said in this book, it did more things for my relationship than I ever thought possible, and now I have a wonderful, healthy, happy marriage that I will appreciate for the rest of my life. I just hope that this book works miracles for other relationships, as it has done for mine.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 29, 2006

    A 'Must Read' for Any Young Woman about to be Married

    My husband and I have been married less than a year, and I was noticing trouble spots. We were picking fights with each other and couldn't manage to go one night without being almost hateful to one another. I was at my wits' end, and a close friend of mine suggested this book. Willing to try anything, I browsed the bookshelves for this title. I started leafing through the pages, thinking that it was going to be another one of those 'self help' books that don't help much of anything. But Dr. Laura's advice is practical and can be used in virutally any negative situation that comes between a couple. If it weren't for this book, I would have walked down to the nearest divorce lawyer and solved the problem that way. It wasn't all him that was the issue most of it was ME. Dr. Laura shows you how to think through most of the nonsense arguments that arise between two people that love one another but have different ideaologies. Dr. Laura gives the woman the power to make the situation go in a positive direction. She doesn't make you stay with someone for the sake of the marital institute. Instead, she shows you how to sift through the nonsensical issues so you can be happy, both as a woman and a wife. THREE CHEERS FOR DR. LAURA!!!!

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 13, 2006

    Insightful, straightforward and very valuable!

    First of all, I listen Dr. Laura¿s radio show only from time to time so I am not her ¿fan¿. This book is actually written for women who chose to marry for men they love and respect. The author does NOT encourage men or women to stay in relationships with abuse issues! Moreover, it is written for women who really want to make their marriage a successful one. You probably know that every second marriage in the USA FAILS! That¿s why as a happily married woman and a Ph. D. in Sexuality I consider this book to be a must read for its targeted audience. I was amazed to see how perfectly aware of men¿s basic needs and psychology is Dr. Laura. The major piece of advice is to love, respect and take care of your husband! I do believe that this is the bare minimum of every successful relationship! Even today men¿s life is still considered a lot less valuablealthough good men and especially good husbands do their very best, challenge and push themselves to the maximum for US and our children and it¿s no surprise that they die with tens of thousands from heart attack and other stress related diseases! That¿s why I want to support 100% the author that men have proven starting from the Stone Age till nowadays that they at least deserve our respect, care and appreciation! Of course, this does NOT mean that YOU have to play the role of a wife-doormat! Dr. Laura didn't leave her career and job in order to be a housewife? That's why the book is more about PRIORITIES! You may stay all day at home and still your husband to be very dissatisfied with you. It could be exactly the opposite. It is up to YOU how much you invest in your ¿relationship bank account¿. I think that many people have misunderstood Dr. Laura's advice on the common issue- the husband wants to have sex but she doesn¿t want because she is tired, not in a mood, etc¿ I agree with the author that sex has a great importance for men and if you reject an intercourse they will feel as if you reject THEM! If you want to be a great wife you must NEVER allow this to happen. You may reject the intercourse but NOT and HIM! That¿s the trick. In conclusion, I believe that this book has a lot to offer to women in the real non-feministic sense of this word.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 7, 2005

    Saved My Marriage

    I am not a fan of Dr. Laura and was told about this book by a friend of mine whom I consider to be a bit of a doormat in her marriage so I dismissed it. Well, after 20 years of marriage, for some reason my marriage was in a ditch. We went to a therapist, I bought 3 different books on making marriage work and was partially through each one of them when this book was again recommended to me by someone whom I respect and feel has a good sense of self and a strong marriage. This was the winner! It is an easy read insofar as it makes sense, and there are no quizzes and tests to take. It is a tough read in that if you see yourself in those pages, it is not very flattering. I had been blaming my husband for most of our problems, but after reading this book I realized (I always knew it anyway) that you get what you give. It's the Golden Rule for marriage. What's easier than that???

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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