Customer Reviews for

Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

Average Rating 4
( 61 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(29)

4 Star

(14)

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(10)

2 Star

(4)

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(4)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

This is a must read: for singles, dating or married couples

I just have to say right from the start: if you honestly read this book and were offended by or feel as if the Driscoll's have "no idea" what they are talking about, you didn't really read the book with the mindset of wanting to change your marriage or relationship with...
I just have to say right from the start: if you honestly read this book and were offended by or feel as if the Driscoll's have "no idea" what they are talking about, you didn't really read the book with the mindset of wanting to change your marriage or relationship with your spouse. If you think this book is just full of..., then you are feeling convicted and doing all that you can to disagree with the principles in this book.

This was an incredible book. Let me say that again...an INCREDIBLE book. Not only was I convicted by this book but I learned so much about marriage that I never really knew. I honestly wish I could've had this book before I got married. I feel like my marriage would be a lot different, and my husband would agree with that statement. The Driscoll's discuss topics in the book that I haven't found in many Christian marriage books that I have read. They can be very vague and really beat around the bush when it comes to topics that should and need to be discussed about marriage. I loved how each topic, and really the whole book, was centered around the Bible and brought out specific texts to back up what they were discussing. LOVED this.

My husband and I are both excited to apply the principles in this book to our marriage and to our friendship! I believe in this book so much that I have purchased copies for family members and friends. I will always stand by this book and will continually recommend it for those dating, engaged or married.

And for those of you that purchased this book, without knowing that it was a Christian book on the topic of marriage, I'm glad that you at least read it! Just know that the Driscoll's wrote this book with the intention of helping people. And I know and believe that this book is going to change marriages all over this country, especially in a country where marriages are falling apart like monkey bread. This book is life changing for a marriage.

posted by JessieLeigh on January 10, 2012

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Most Helpful Critical Review

23 out of 28 people found this review helpful.

Does more harm than good...

You'll either love it or hate it. That's how I feel about this book after spending an evening with it. Where do I come out? Well, you'll have to keep reading to find out.
I was warned about this book and it didn't take me long to find out why. By page 29, I was ban...
You'll either love it or hate it. That's how I feel about this book after spending an evening with it. Where do I come out? Well, you'll have to keep reading to find out.
I was warned about this book and it didn't take me long to find out why. By page 29, I was banging my head on a metaphorical wall, trying to figure out how I was going to make it through the rest of the book with an open mind.

Driscoll is fairly opinionated about specific gender roles and makes these opinions very clear. In his chapter written to men, Driscoll tells men not to be "dumb" and to act like men. Ok, fair enough. Men should be men. I agree. But he also says that it is the man's job to provide enough income so that the woman does not have to work, but rather has everything she needs to stay at home with the children. I quote, "A wife who finds a way to make money from home or without neglecting her first God-given responsibilities of Christian, wife, and mother is acceptable. But men, you should make money. You should feed your family." He also tells men that if they want other men, their wives, and their children to respect them, they need to pay the bills. Simple as that. Well, life isn't always as simple as that. This chapter is full of this and other "wake-up calls" to men that yes, are worth considering, but perhaps would do more harm than good to read.

Throughout the book, Driscoll includes Scripture references. Wonderful! I love when authors, pastors, TEACHERS back what they're saying with the Bible. I took the time to look up many of the references on my trusty iPhone Bible app and was blown away by the interpretation of some of the passages. Some of the verses were taken completely out of context and seemed to be stretched and twisted to somehow fit what Driscoll was trying to say. I urge you to do your own research into the passages used and study the context surrounding them to understand what they are really saying. Find a good commentary...

I was cringing when I reached the "Sex" portion of the book, not really knowing what I would find inside. I was pleasantly surprised, for the most part. Driscoll's ideas about sex seemed fair and worth consideration. At times he seemed to go a bit far, such as when he suggests that one should have sex with their spouse, despite not wanting to. At the end of the book, there is a section that goes through various sexual acts and Driscoll lays out his thoughts (and "biblical" groundwork) on each. I won't go into detail, but please, PLEASE read these with a grain of salt and talk to someone you trust such as a pastor or spiritual director if you are unclear or uncertain about anything that you see here.

Overall, I wouldn't say that this book was a COMPLETE waste of my evening, but I wouldn't say that it was the best use of my time either. I found myself frustrated, annoyed, and disappointed that this book is getting all the press that it is. With all of its contradictions, poor biblical interpretation, and unfair gender stereotypes, I find that even the good and helpful parts of this book get lost in the harmful and distinctly wrong ideas, leaving it doing more harm than good. There are better options out there in terms of books on marriage (ask your pastor for suggesions), but if you want to read this book and see the "car crash" for yourself, by all means...

posted by NMcC on January 18, 2012

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  • Posted January 18, 2012

    Does more harm than good...

    You'll either love it or hate it. That's how I feel about this book after spending an evening with it. Where do I come out? Well, you'll have to keep reading to find out.
    I was warned about this book and it didn't take me long to find out why. By page 29, I was banging my head on a metaphorical wall, trying to figure out how I was going to make it through the rest of the book with an open mind.

    Driscoll is fairly opinionated about specific gender roles and makes these opinions very clear. In his chapter written to men, Driscoll tells men not to be "dumb" and to act like men. Ok, fair enough. Men should be men. I agree. But he also says that it is the man's job to provide enough income so that the woman does not have to work, but rather has everything she needs to stay at home with the children. I quote, "A wife who finds a way to make money from home or without neglecting her first God-given responsibilities of Christian, wife, and mother is acceptable. But men, you should make money. You should feed your family." He also tells men that if they want other men, their wives, and their children to respect them, they need to pay the bills. Simple as that. Well, life isn't always as simple as that. This chapter is full of this and other "wake-up calls" to men that yes, are worth considering, but perhaps would do more harm than good to read.

    Throughout the book, Driscoll includes Scripture references. Wonderful! I love when authors, pastors, TEACHERS back what they're saying with the Bible. I took the time to look up many of the references on my trusty iPhone Bible app and was blown away by the interpretation of some of the passages. Some of the verses were taken completely out of context and seemed to be stretched and twisted to somehow fit what Driscoll was trying to say. I urge you to do your own research into the passages used and study the context surrounding them to understand what they are really saying. Find a good commentary...

    I was cringing when I reached the "Sex" portion of the book, not really knowing what I would find inside. I was pleasantly surprised, for the most part. Driscoll's ideas about sex seemed fair and worth consideration. At times he seemed to go a bit far, such as when he suggests that one should have sex with their spouse, despite not wanting to. At the end of the book, there is a section that goes through various sexual acts and Driscoll lays out his thoughts (and "biblical" groundwork) on each. I won't go into detail, but please, PLEASE read these with a grain of salt and talk to someone you trust such as a pastor or spiritual director if you are unclear or uncertain about anything that you see here.

    Overall, I wouldn't say that this book was a COMPLETE waste of my evening, but I wouldn't say that it was the best use of my time either. I found myself frustrated, annoyed, and disappointed that this book is getting all the press that it is. With all of its contradictions, poor biblical interpretation, and unfair gender stereotypes, I find that even the good and helpful parts of this book get lost in the harmful and distinctly wrong ideas, leaving it doing more harm than good. There are better options out there in terms of books on marriage (ask your pastor for suggesions), but if you want to read this book and see the "car crash" for yourself, by all means...

    23 out of 28 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 6, 2012

    This guy doesn't have a clue

    This should be renamed "marriage for real insecure men." It was ridiculous.

    6 out of 21 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 3, 2012

    Ugh, was drawn to title but didn't realize it was a Christian-suffused work

    Not my thing, but religious Christians may find it helpful.

    2 out of 17 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 29, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

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