Customer Reviews for

Recovering from Rape

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 14, 2007

    A reviewer

    I am not really into reviewing books, but I feel the need to warn victims about this book: it could hurt more than help. I am a survivor of a kidnapping and rape. It is a recent event, but past the 'one year anniversary'. I purchased the second edition of this book. It was initially upsetting to read. Though there were some parts that were slightly helpful -- the factual information regarding legal issues, stds, police investigations. But that information was not necessarily so helpful that it warrants the negativity that this book puts out. The author's tone is negative and hopeless rather than hopeful: at every turn she reminds the reader of how unfair the justice system is and has been for rape victims. Then she supplies depressing examples to back up her claims of how bad the system is. While this information is certainly true and also necessary for victims to be aware of -- I do believe that a better writer could deliver the same information in a less damning tone. Furthermore, my edition of the book seemed terribly dated. The examples used in the book to back up claims of the author are from the early 1990s. Laws are constantly changing and so is science: DNA is a major issue that is not featured very much in this book. Also, the real-world examples that the author uses are *extremely* limited to Minnesota. Her data collection is not thorough. Another extremely aggravating issue: While the author continuously tells her reader that it is 'normal' or 'okay' to feel certain things, she seems to contradict herself with a very harmful message: The one-year anniversary and beyond. She puts rape and its recovery on a time-table. So when I went back to consult this book again, it made me feel even worse: there was no chapter on what I was/am going through. A few years on and I am having flashbacks and suffering other issues that the author does not discuss at length, nor does she offer help for those of us who do not fall in line with her time-table. I also would like to offer just one example (out of the many) of why I fear that this book could be harmful to survivors: the author mentions that the survivor will feel relieved if she changes her residence. But she does not offer the helpful information that a survivor should be on the look-out or aware of 'avoidance' behavior. Some survivors probably find it a healthy choice to change their residence. But it should at least be noted that some could also be choosing to move as a subconscious avoidance strategy. And it is all OKAY. Just important to be aware. My own experience with the 'system' was not as horrifying as the author lays out. But it also is important to be informed of what you are 'in for'. Still, this book stirred up so much anxiety in me, that I am just not so sure that it is healthy. And again, the cases and examples she cites are very dated and limited in geography. Her advice on what to wear to court was not helpful I did not realize that I had PTSD and her clean-and-simple approach to 'recovering emotionally' and 'taking back control' made me feel crazy. She simplifies the 'emotional recovery' process and complicates the legal one. She prepares the victim for a horrifying ordeal that she will face when reporting to the police (in my case, the police were more helpful than the 'trained rape counselors', and they were more respectful). She warns the victim of how impossible it is to bring charges against a rapist, much less to convict. She peppers these anxiety-producing warnings with a 'feminist'-type, political diatribe that belongs in a different book. She does not offer concrete resources for the survivor to contact -- just a number or two for each state. Yet she tells the survivor that it is her duty to report the rape. I cannot warn survivors enough: be careful with this book. There must be a better book than this for survivors.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 12, 2001

    Conquering College Confusion

    Having experienced this horrifying crime twice (at age 14 and again at 21), I finally decided to work my way through the entire book from cover to cover. It had been given to me by someone who cared for me after my first assault. I picked through it and read only what applied back then. My second rape was different, and I'm older now. I read the entire book and found insight on every page. I cannot even begin to put into words how helpful this book has been. Somedays, one page would give me enough to think about for a week. I especially found the pages dealing with prosecution helpful. I was victimized once by the rapist and again by the police. It somehow helped to know that I wasn't alone.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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