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Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before - and After - You Marry

Average Rating 4
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Most Helpful Favorable Review

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

A must read for engaged couples

While this book isn't ground breaking in any sort of way, what it does it does well and that's to get you talking about things before you get married. Me and my wife read this when we were engaged and having been married before there were a lot of things that I related...
While this book isn't ground breaking in any sort of way, what it does it does well and that's to get you talking about things before you get married. Me and my wife read this when we were engaged and having been married before there were a lot of things that I related too. It may seem silly to talk about who's going to take out the trash and who's going to do the dishes, however if you aren't both on the same page then conflict will arise due to lack of communication. Of course there is so much more to this book than that. It's a quick read and one you owe yourself and your future spouse. It's best if you both read through it.

posted by jwdriggs on June 20, 2011

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Most Helpful Critical Review

4 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

gender biased and outdated

This book was required reading for premarital counseling at our church. Since when does being a Christian require one to dismiss all discourse on gender differences (are they innate or learned?) as having been settled 'once and for all?' (and by science, no less) as th...
This book was required reading for premarital counseling at our church. Since when does being a Christian require one to dismiss all discourse on gender differences (are they innate or learned?) as having been settled 'once and for all?' (and by science, no less) as this book suggests? The advice in this book reflects that premise: In the book that was 'contextualized for my gender' I was told how to deal with my emotions when my husband forgets the anniversary of our first date while his gender-contextualized book reminds him that 'most men do not realize that women need to be respected, because men and women react very differently to not being respected.' What? It would be silly if this weren't so harmful. People read these books with eyes and ears wide open as they are preparing for marriage, in good faith that it will dole out helpful advice. Instead of talking couples through thought-provoking questions to ask of themselves and each other, couples are told to take gender stereotypes into account when communicating and interacting with their spouse. Marriages need all the help they can get. I want my marriage to be grounded in faith but I don't think I should be asked to swallow outdated and harmful gender stereotypes in order to get permission to marry. The fact that our preist based her marriage counseling on this book made us seriously second-guess our decision to marry in that church.

posted by Anonymous on April 20, 2008

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