Say When

Hit close to home

I love EB's books!! but this one hit me very close to where and what i am living. I wonder and wish I could ask EB how she came up with Griffin's point of view. I was moved by his emotions. So often we can not see or feel emotions from our husbands. And we wonder what is really going on in their heads. And more importantly, do they feel anything outside of a bed sheet?? Griffin had the chance to sleep with a great girl. but he knew that he loved only one and could be with only one. and i love his justifications for loving her with all of her quirks. Love is love. Sometimes it's hard to explain to the masses. So why try??? That's another book for EB. Thank you Elizabeth for putting into words something similar to what I am closely dealing with right now. Hope my life turns out as well as Griffin and Ellen's does in the end. Monica

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Loved it!

I read this book in under 24 hours-I couldn't put it down! The synopsis is that a long married couple's marriage is coming undone, only the husband doesn't realize it. When Ellen, the wife, tells her husband, Griffin that she is having an affair and wants a divorce-you can really feel his pain and his disbelief that this is happening. Ellen is clearly in the midst of a midlife crisis. I think many women will relate to the situation, if not to her way of dealing with it. The way that Griffin and Ellen deal with their marriage problems and their child, shows us all that there is much to be said for the comfort of a love well known, and the sanctity of family.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

To Be Seen

We all ultimately want to be seen by our partner for who we really are. Some people have the keen ability to look into another and see who they are. Although this may not be the central theme in Elizabeth Berg's work, it is significant none-the-less.

Ellen and Griffin represent those couples that have hit a wall in their relationship. The growth has stopped and routines and regiments have set in. Ellen feels undervalued and underdeveloped causing her to embark on a love affair to feel more fulfilled.

Griffin's patience serve as a reminder that some people, albeit a fictitious character in a novel, take their marriage vows seriously. This is a must read for those that are feeling disillusioned with the way in which people conduct their serious relationships. It was uplifting.

Inside His Head

As a married woman I found it interesting to 'be inside the head' of the husband in this story--and felt his pain. His love for Ellen was unchanging, even if he himself did...I found it encouraging to think of a man feeling that way. Women often want to know about these deeper feelings within their husbands--but it seems that they are rarely communicated. I find it interesting, now reading some of the reviews for this book, that so many men panned it and so many women loved it.

Very Enjoyable!

I thought this book was an interesting twist on an often too typical problem in marriages. I genuinely felt for Griffon, and all that he was going through. I have passed my copy along to several friends, A very good read!

OK but not great

This is the first book I've read by Elizabeth Berg and I found it to be stuck in neutral for the most part. When Ellen announces to Griffin that she was having an affair, even though he suspected it, I expected Griffin to be angrier and more upset at her than what he was. Instead he was passive as if the affair was going on for years and he accepted it as a part of their daily life. And who would condone their spouse living in the same house while leading separate lives with other people! Maybe a woman but not any man that I know. I look forward to reading other books by Elizabeth Berg even though this was a let down.

A must read

This book gives insight as to why couples often divorce. Such real characters and down to earth writing. You can feel the anger, the sadness, and the recovery. Recommend it without reservations.

Loved It!!!

I haven't read Berg before, but thoroughly loved this book. I just ordered 3 more Berg books! I fell in love with both characters. It makes you realize how easily a routine can fall into a rut...

Not as realistic as I thought

While I enjoyed the book and found some of the insights interesting, I find it impossible to believe that someone would sit back and allow a spouse to have an 'affair'. I don't think the true hurt was ever conveyed. I think the feelings depicted were those way past the initial impact. Still enjoyable and interesting. Always good to be reminded that it takes two, however, on some level it seemed to condone the affair which I belief is never acceptable.

Anyone can relate...

I picked up this book because I was having one of those 'married moments' when you just can't go one more moment... I read it in one day, and came out of it with a empowered, and enlightened feeling. I was able to identify with all the characters, and it was such effortless reading. Highly recommended,I am going to pass it around to all the women in my life. It is very important to be reminded that men have fears and weaknesses, and it was nice to hear one man's perspective!

Great book

Elizabeth Berg is a fantastic author. This book is great. It is so realistic and it explores what it feels like to be cheated on in a relationship. It also is a great example that marriages arent always perfect and that to make a marriage work, it takes both partners. A perfect book for couples to read together!

great!

First, I couldn't book the book down. I am one to never believe a man's feelings when they state that they are hurt since men really don't show emotion. When I read this book it really changed my mind !!! I think this is a great book to read so that women can actually know how a man thinks when the affair happens to them!

Great novel

I thought this book was great, I read it in three hours because I couldn't put it down. I loved that it was from the point of view of the husband, and even though it was pretty sad, I still really enjoyed it.

I enjoyed this

I finished it in a weekend, it was different to read about a marriage affair from the view of the husband and I fell in love with their daughter Zoe. Not one of Berg's best, but I enjoyed it.

Wonderful

This is a wonderful book that shows the other side of a marriage. We learn that men react to heartache the same way women do, Griffin's character is heartwarming. You can relate to his reactions to lifes dilemna's. Can't wait to start another Elizabeth Berg!

Disappointment

I found this book boring. Griffin's reactions were more feminine than masculine. Ellen's wanting to talk every other scene grew old and Zoe's whining was annoying. If it wasn't for the Santa scenes, this book would get one star.

A heartwarming tale

Frank Griffin loves his wife and his eight-year-old daughter Zoe and is prepared to do everything in his power to keep his family together. He suspects his wife Ellen is having an affair with her teacher who is giving a night course in auto repair, but Frank is prepared to wait until she comes to her senses and gets it out of her system and never confront her with it.

It is Ellen who brings things out in the open by admitting she is in love with Peter and wants a divorce. Griffin refuses to give her one and won¿t move out of the house or their bedroom. Ellen finds the whole situation awkward and finally moves into her own apartment but she¿s at the house every day to take care of their daughter until Griffin comes home. Their impasse is finally broken when Griffin is ready to listen to what Ellen needs to say.

There is not a lot of action in SAY WHEN but it is a fascinating character study about two people who share space but fail to communicate. There are many funny moments in the book especially the scene when Ellen and her date meet Griffin and his date at the movie house. The two protagonists are both decent and kind people who go out of their way to make sure any disruptions in their daughter¿s life are kept to a minimum. Elizabeth Berg has written a heartwarming tale focusing on human frailties.

Harriet Klausner

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