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The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

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Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 204 Customer Reviews
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  • Posted January 2, 2010

    This book WILL change your Marriage ~ Period

    7 Months ago (May 2009) and after almost 17 years of marriage, my wife and I were ready to call it quits. The love for each other was gone and for all intents and purposes, we were little more than glorified roommates, and not even good ones at that. Although we were not officially divorced by the courts, emotionally, spiritually and physically we WERE divorced ~ bankrupted in our relationship. During the summer as we struggled with how, or even IF we wanted to continue being married, a dear family member gave me this book and asked me to read it. I told my wife what I was learning and it piqued her interest. She began to see some real changes in how I treated her (Her love languages are Acts of Service and Gifts). As I read through this book, and discovered my love language(s) (and hers as well), it became apparent to me that this author had stumbled across something that I believe could and does STOP divorce in its tracks if people would read this book and apply its principles to heart for themselves and for their partners. If my wife and I can take a dead marriage and turn it into the best we have ever had using these principles anyone can. Will it stop infidelity or abusive behavior of a spouse? The answer to those particular situations have to be dealt with at a personal and spiritual level and although this book does not specifically deal with those issues, it does offer tremendous guidance in learning to love your spouse the way he/she feels love. God can and WILL save your marriage and this book can help you understand what a true loving partnership is about and why we need each other interdependently in this life and in our marriage. My wife has since commented after finishing this book that it should be required reading for anyone contemplating getting married. It truly is THAT powerful. I know many today are hurting and struggling in their marriages and having gone through that fire, my heart truly breaks for others in similar situations. It is tough thing to separate your life from someone you once loved. I can only say for myself having learned and put Gary's suggestions into practice, that I have seen a difference in how my wife and I now love each other. There is hope. READ this book and give it to your partner! Test the principles that Gary Chapman provides and see if you don't see a change in how your partner responds (lovingly) to you and begin to have the best marriage of your life. Best hopes for the readers in discovering your partners Love Language and a new found love for each other.

    64 out of 65 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 13, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    One of the First Steps In Decoding the Love In Your Marriage

    If you can read, you can understand the love in your marriage. This book is a simple and easy to read. It gave me the basic tools that I needed to understand my wife, ex-wife, and our children. Learn your love language and stop talking at one another. You can stop talking altogether. Start communicating in the language that your spouse has always spoken, and learn to articulate yours. My life would be different if I had read this book either. I can not change the past, but I am better prepared for the wonderful future ahead.

    29 out of 32 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 5, 2010

    an absolute must read (and apply)

    The Five Love Languages (TFLL) by Gary Chapman is probably the most useful book on relationships ever written.

    While the title expounds by saying "how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate", its usefulness in application doesn't stop there. The lessons learned in TFLL can, and should, be applied in all relationships--not just romantic ones. Learning how friends, extended family, and those whom one works with closely expect to receive and express love (or exchange love with appreication, gratitude, admiration, motivation, etc.)will enhance those relationships tremendously.

    I have also found the lessons learned from TFLL to be valuable for empowering, inspiring and motivating others to fulfill their potential in working relationships. If you have ever worked with one of those "difficult people", then the lessons in TFLL will help in identifying how you can apply a different tactic to capture their attention and empower them. Learning that the reasons why people do certain things are often out of expectations that differ from our own will certainly go along way in helping to adjust our own actions/reactions to others' actions/reactions, and in the end, just might help enhance the working relationship with those colleagues.

    Learning that different people have different priorities in expressing and receiving love (again: or admiration, appreciation, etc.), that we should't project our own love language priorities on others, and that we should express love/appreciation/gratitude in a manner that will be most meaningful to each other, will inspire more meaningful exchanges and enhance our relationships.

    In short, if their are people in your life that you wish to insure you have the best relationship possible with, then you should read this book and apply all of the suggestions for learning the priority of their individual love languages--right after you figure out your own order.

    It's actually fun to figure out your own love language and then try to guess what the order of love languages will be for your mate, friends, family, and co-workers.

    10 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 12, 2007

    AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!!

    I picked this book off the shelf never hearing about it before...the title caught my eye and I was completely surprized how much i liked this book!!! This isn't just a relationship book but an inside look on how to better understand people. After reading this you will be amazed at how much you truely learn about your co-workers and family. You will begin to understand why they do what they do and maybe you will get a better understanding of yourself! I starting reading this and couldn't put it down...I brought it to work and 5 people borrowed it and it came back with rave reviews from all of them...I hope this book helps you as much as it has me!

    10 out of 11 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 20, 2009

    Simple yet most Profound Primer on 5 styles of demonstrating affection/love

    This selection is very atypical of the books I would pick; however after reading in the NYT that an US Army officer would customarily give a copy to his soldiers before returning home to help them prepare for their domestic re-engagements to help mitigate the misunderstandings that often happen within a marriage, I had to check it out. The observations, examples and logic are all very simple but made this reader realize where I fell in the scale of behaviors and why I would encounter the problems I did. The bottom line was that my partner mostly demonstrated his affection in the way that I was not likely to recognize. Based on my own conclusions about how to best get my attention I also learned while he did not complain, I never reciprocated my support of our relationship in ways which would most resonate for him. By the time I had this epiphany the damage had already been done; however I now look at my friendships/relationships with keener & more open eyes to assess how to best reach my loved ones. The results are more satisfying and I avoid the frustrating loops of less than successful repeat behaviors. I now give this book to newly engaged couples, or as a part of their wedding gift and the feedback I get is always about the book. Everyone who cares about their significant other should make it a point to get their own copy because the message is delivered very plainly and effectively and one can determine how best to adjust their own conduct to (often with minor changes) better remain on their partner's radar in the best way. I highly recommend.

    9 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 10, 2010

    Enlightening

    This book was recommended to us (spouse and me) because of negative changes occurring in our relationship. I thought that life was beautiful, when in fact I was not successfully showing my wife I loved her - and I really do! This book lets you see how some people perceive love - which can be different than how you see or feel love. Knowing now how my wife 'feels love' I now show her in a way she understands - and she in turn shows me in the ways I need to be shown. Having troubles in your relationship may be minimized if you have the knowledge contained in this book. Good reading!

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 20, 2009

    I LOVE THIS BOOK

    This book is AMAZING. For anyone in a relationship, or just interested in how to make ANY relationship work, it is a LIFE SAVER. Dr. Gary Chapman uses very MODERN examples, and just really makes it easy to relate the book to your life.

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 14, 2001

    This Book Saved Us

    All I can say is that my husband and I were struggling for months trying to understand each other. One day I saw the author of the book on TV. I was automatically intrigued by his easy concepts. I bought the book for my husband before we got married. I bought one for myself as well. We had been having a very difficult time communicating. I suggested that we read the book together simultaneously and highlight the parts we felt applied to us. That way we can see each other's views more clearly. All in all it saved us and we got married 6 months later and fell in love all over again. I highly recommend this book.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 6, 2010

    This was a great book!

    I had several people refer to this book & it was great! Although it refers to spouses throughout it's applicable to yourself & anyone in your life. I recommend it!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2000

    great way to know your love

    the greatest book i have ever read, finally learned how to show my wife i really love her. i never knew in 21 years of married life what her love language was. i do now, and it surprisingly fun to be married.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 20, 2010

    Pre-Marital Requirement

    This book Should be read by all couples considering Marriage and read together. Some of us have some askew expectations when it comes to relationships. This book really opened my eyes to Love, Mutual Respect, and Communication. I learned Unforgettable Life Lessons.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 12, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    This changed my life and my understanding of my marriage

    While I was at first put off to find this book in the religious section of the store as opposed to the relationship section, I am so glad that I purchased the book. It is profound! It has only the slightest bit of christian content, being written by someone who does many church marriage improvement workshops and discussing some of those within the book.

    The five languages of love helped me to understand why my expressions of love to my wife were falling on deaf ears, as they were not her languages of love. It also explained why I had hurt her so badly by not telling her of my love in the ways that she needed to hear that I loved her. It was not that each of us didn't love the other, it was that we were expressing our love for each other every week and most days in ways that the other partner could not understand.

    This book is a must for anyone with a marriage problem, as a gift for someone entering into marriage or a gift for a child or friend who is entering into serious relationships.

    Buy it, read it, have your spouse read it, take the test at the end and then talk about it with your spouse. It will change your life and your marriage!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 15, 2009

    Should be mandatory reading!

    I have been married for 28 glorious years...most of them, anyway! I wish this book had been available all those years ago. It should be mandatory for all couples that are thinking about marriage to read this book...it is that essential. It is a 'How To' guide for everyone and anyone in a relationship to maximize the ultimate in love, communication, happiness, and the very basic needs inherent in all of us. For that matter, it will open your eyes to the needs of your children. Fabulous book, I recommend it to absolutely everyone!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 7, 2009

    Commom Sense approach to maintaining a healthy relationship

    Chapman gives examples and useful tools to the five languages of love. Includes a questionaire to help the reader determine his/her needs in regard to feeling loved and appreciated. This book is helpful for couples to understand what it takes to maintain a healthy, loving relationship. Recommend reading this before marriage.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 22, 2007

    DUH!!!

    After spending the last few years feeling like we were stuck in an unloving relationship, my wife read the book, and then suggested it to me. After reading the book, and discussing it with her, we found out that we'd been using the wrong language on each other for years. Not that we didn't love each other, just that we weren't on the right page with each other. We now know what fills each other's tanks, and we're much happier.... all in the space of a few days. We wasted a lot of time not knowing how to reach each other in the correct way. Now, we know, are working at it, and will continue to do so. It's easy once you get the right help. Read the book, it's a marriage saver!!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 14, 2004

    A true gift

    Around christmas things started to go downhill between my husband and I. We didn't argue but we began to feel like we had nothing in common and that we really just didn't know each other anymore. The friendship was there, but the love was gone. A Co-worker then offered this book to me. My daughter and I had moved out of the house for two months and during that time, I read. When I was finished, I was so amazed with what I learned that I asked my husband to read the book as well. He did and I am now in the process of moving back home to be with my husband. We are more in love now than I believe we were the day we married. This book and the lessons it has taught us has truely been the tool that we needed to save our marriage. This book has also helped us to learn our daughters primary love language and our relationship with her has benefited a great deal as well.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2004

    And I thought it couldn't get any better....

    This book has made my very good marriage of 20 years even better, stronger, and is a book that both my husband and I will re-read every once in a while. I suggest you both read it, and try to figure out each other's primary language. It's fun, gets you communicating, and just helps build a healthier relationship.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 14, 2013

    I Also Recommend:

    A Relationship Must-Read!

    The Five Love Languages takes an approach to relationships and communication that I never would have considered before reading this book. It definitely applies to all relationships, regardless of whether or not you're married. The author, Gary Chapman, asks the reader to examine the ways people in relationships relate to one another. Expressions of love can come in various forms, and I found it so interesting to learn about the ways we can show our love to one another. Not only was I able to better understand my love language, but I also gained insight into my boyfriend's love language as well as new ways to fill his "love tank." This book has shed light on so many ways we can love, and as a result my relationship is better than ever! If this book appeals to you, I highly recommend a book by Ariel and Shya Kane entitled, "How to Have a Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating and Relating." Like Chapman, the authors present ways of relating, both with your partner and with yourself, that can have a profound impact on your relationship and overall well-being. The principles in How to Have a Match Made in Heaven have really allowed my relationship with my boyfriend to blossom, and The Five Love Languages has invigorated our partnership in many meaningful ways. I highly recommend you read both books!

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  • Posted May 22, 2012

    Highly Recommended- Saved my marriage from ME!!!

    This book was very helpful for my marriage. Not only did it help me to understand the different love languages but it help me to understand why relationships (not only marriage but friendships) can be ruined as people change through the years.

    It's hard to communicate if you are not sure how to do without hurting someone another persons feelings. This book will help the communication flow easier between two people.

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  • Posted January 8, 2011

    love this book!!!!

    its an amazing book and very insightful

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